Shadows in the Snow
by sarbear2255
Summary: "Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another" A mysterious tom comes to the Junkyard. The graceful Victoria finds herself slipping under his spell. But maybe this relationship is more than she bargained for...
1. The Mysterious Shadow

**Chapter 1: The Mysterious Shadow**

**A/N: Hey guys! This is my first attempt at and kind of fanfiction, and really creative writing in general. So feedback is definitely appreciated! I am kind of writing this as I go, though I have the general outline in my head. Anyways, please review so I know where I can improve! And I will try to update regularly. **

** Sorry. I think this chapter is kind of boring, but I have to kind of set things up. Thanks! **

** Disclaimer! I do not own cats in anyway! **

I awoke to the noonday sun streaming across my face. I squinted through the unwelcome brightness and slowly sat up on my bed, wiping the sleep from my eyes. A yawn escaped me as I slowly stretched each limb. Every muscle gave a faint protest to the current request of them, but relented without too much trouble.

I smiled for a moment, relaxing again, lying down again to stare at the lights as they danced over the roof of my den, like snow fairies. At least that was how I imagined them. A few years ago, I had stumbled upon a discarded ball made of little mirrors. I thought it was one of the most magical objects I had ever seen. I immediately returned to my den with it, and positioned it so that, no matter the time of day, a light from one of the openings in my den always hit it, creating dancing light fairies across my room.

I had always loved snow. When I was little, my mother used to joke that when I was kitten, I must have befriended a snow sprite. At those times, my mother would always request a dance recital. I was more than happy to oblige, because dancing was my escape, and it always made my mother look so happy. There never had to be music, just dancing to my own tune for my mother was all I needed. I would simply connect the moves I had knew together, gliding through my mental glossary: _attitude, balancé, battement, couru, jeté_, the list could go on and on.

I stopped as a dull pain radiated through my arm. I realized that in my mental recollections, I had lifted my arms above my head, as if continuing to dance. I let a little laugh as brought my arms back down to my side and sat back up. I gave my arm muscles a small massage.

While my muscles weren't killing me, they were sore enough that one would think that I didn't dance as often as I did. However, that was the one thing I did more than anything else. It was just that last night was the annual Jellicle Ball. It always seemed that no matter how much I trained, I always danced with so much more effort on those magical nights that I was always sore the next day. Whenever the music of the ball began, my Jellicle instincts just take over and I can never appropriately prepare for the results of the tribal experience.

I finally decided that I had lazed around enough, and from the light streaming through the holes, it was only a little past noon. Shortly after I stood up and began to groom myself, a low growl from my stomach confirmed my assumption.

I gave a soft smile as I tied a pink ribbon around my neck and turned to step out into the sunlit junkyard.

"Hello Victoria!" came a call from the nearby TSE car. "Did you sleep well? You deserve it after such wonderful dancing last night!"

I turned towards the call to see Munkustrap strolling towards me, a smile spread over his gentile, tabby face. The strong protector quickly closed the gap between us and rested a congratulatory paw on my shoulder. "I mean it. You were really fantastic! Griddlebone would have been proud." He added with a sad smile.

My melancholy smile reflected his as I nodded, accepting his praise with as much grace as I could muster. My mother, Griddlebone, used to be one of the tribe, and was a respected dancer, the talk of all the toms. However, her beauty had also caught the eye of Macavity. She had fallen for the promises he wove and followed him into his empire. One of her missions for the Hidden Paw was to seduce my father, Growltiger. She performed her mission perfectly, with only one hiccup: me.

Macavity had been furious, but he was not the only how could weave lies. Griddlebone had convinced him to let her have her kitten, for another minion working for him couldn't hurt the organization. However, shortly after I was born, my mother hid me away and told Macavity she had miscarried. She spent many years raising me in secret.

Years passed and secrets were uncovered. Eventually, in a last-minute effort, Griddlebone dropped me off at the junkyard, with a singular plea to provide sanctuary for me, though she expected nothing for herself. After Old Deuteronomy had picked me up and accepted my membership, my mother left without a backward glance. I cried that night, and many nights after.

I brought myself out of my reverie and looked the silver tabby in his eyes, and smiled again, this time without a trace of sadness and full of real gratitude. What had Jemima said last night? She longed to turn her face to the dawn? That's what I had to do too. Face the day coming before me, and let the past be looked on as nothing more than memories.

"Thanks Munkustrap. Though I think I have slept more than I deserved. You did a lot more than I, and I imagine you just didn't sleep." I replied with a light laugh.

Munkustrap broke into a more genuine smile and an equally gentle laugh. I imagine that he didn't know how I would react to his mention of Griddlebone. "Well, I did take a quick cat nap, if you will. Demeter made sure of it." He looked back towards his den, where I assumed Demeter was fast asleep, resting from the drama of the night. He turned back to me, and placed his paw back on my shoulder, gently ushering me towards the TSE car. "Coricopat and Tantomile have hunted plenty of mice for this morning. We assumed a lot of cats would be tired after last night."

I nodded, looking towards the car where a small group of cats had gathered in front, with the mystic twins at the center, smiling proudly. "I should definitely take advantage of that. Who knows when the next time some one will hunt for me will be." With a quick nod from Munk, I briskly jogged over to the group.

As I approached, the other cats turned to me with smiles and congratulations. I heard a rush of 'Good morning's and 'Great job's as I did my best to acknowledge all of them and return the compliments. I picked up a delicious looking mouse and scanned the group for a lunch partner to sit with. I smiled as I spotted Jellylorum and Asparagus.

I sat myself down next to Jelly, and was immediately greeted with a smothering hug. I had almost dropped my mouse, but Asparagus caught it with a huge smile. "We are so proud of you!" I heard, mumbled into my headfur, as Asparagus let out a chuckle.

After another solid squeeze, Jelly relinquished me, allowing me to take my mouse back from Asparagus and begin to satiate my hunger. She quickly turned to her lunch, and I pretended I did not see the few tears trickle down her cheeks. I had learned that sometimes, when mothers cry, it was best not to ask, and I knew these were happy tears.

"Thanks Jelly, it means a lot to me. But I didn't do that much, I just had a few solo numbers." I added after a few bites, trying to not let the praise go to my head.

"I know. I know." She sniffed through her tears. "You were just so beautiful, it was almost angelic. And it makes me, us, so proud so finally see you get the solos you deserve!"

I smiled again, leaning on her motherly shoulder and giving her cheek as soft nuzzle of thanks.

Jellylorum and Asparagus had taken me in after I had been brought to the junkyard. They were eager to have kittens, but for some reason, were unable to. It was a sad thought now, but at the time, I was happy to be an only kit. They had also readily made me the center of the world, and I had been spoiled. I was lucky that I hadn't developed a rotten attitude, but they wouldn't have allowed that anyways. They really were the best parents that I could have asked for, besides from Griddlebone that is.

"Thanks again. I am happy to make you proud." I added, sitting up, scanning the cats around me.

Asparagus smiled again, nibbling on his mouse. He was a quite tom who liked to let Jelly do all the talking. He was content to relax and take things as they came. However, now he looked to me and back out at the yard. "We have always been proud of you Victoria. Don't forget that. However, we have been much too selfish with you, trying to keep you to ourselves. This is the night after your debut ball as a beautiful solo dancer. Go find your friends, enjoy yourself."

Jelly looked at Asparagus for a moment as if to protest, but then chuckled and nodded, looking back at me. I hadn't moved, I had wanted to make sure that it was okay with my mother. While I really did want to go find my friends, I had no problem sitting and conversing with my parents. I hadn't seen much of them last night, and after spending the time and effort to raise me, they deserved some of my time. However, with her nod, I smiled and gave each of them a kiss of thanks on their cheeks and got up to find some companions to chat with.

After a bit of walking around and greeting some other cats of the junkyard as they started to wake, a large, lean figure stepped out in front of me. I was met with a smirk under deep copper eyes. The copper and white tom let out a chuckle and quickly embraced me. "Good morning, Vik!" he purred before releasing me.

I let a large smile spread across my face as I quickly hugged Plato back before he stepped away. "Morning, Plato! How are you? Am I the last one awake? I thought for sure that I would have woken before you!" I exclaimed sitting down by a pile of junk as he settled next to me.

"Well, I am doing just great. And I am offended that you have such low expectations of me." He said sternly with mock anger in his voice before laughing it off. "But no, you are not the last up. I believe everyone else is still asleep, except maybe Tumble. I believe he is following Alonzo around, wanting to help out with everything."

I nodded, glad I wasn't the last one up. I didn't want to look lazy as if that little amount of dancing last night was too much for me. I smiled again at Plato as he looked up at the clear blue sky above. I had grown up with Plato. He, Tumblebrutus, and Admetus had been littermates to Jennyanydots and Skimbleshanks, and were around my age. Since Jelly and Jenny were such good friends, they had chosen dens right next to each other. So the four of us had grown up together. However, Plato and I had developed a close friendship and were usually inseparable. Others always joked that we would become mates, but we both saw each other as siblings, and that would never change.

However, last night we had been chosen as the dancers for the Invitation to the Mating Dance. This was just a dance, that meant nothing, and it was fun to dance with Plato, but it did not help in us quelling the rumors that 'we were meant to be'. It was simply that I was deemed the most graceful dancers of the queens and he was one of the strongest toms in the bunch. Oh well, people will eventually stop talking about us, and plus Plato told me that he like someone else, though he wouldn't tell me the lucky queen.

Plato finally turned from the clear sky to look at me. He smiled. "What?" he said with a chuckle.

I looked away and back towards the clearing where a lot of the adults had begun sunning themselves. "Nothing, I was just thinking about last night. It was fun dancing with you." I said, with a slight blush, hoping he wasn't thinking that I was trying to hit on him.

He nodded solemnly. "You were as graceful as ever. I felt a few jealous eyes on me last night during the Mating Dance." He then made a grimace. "I hate that title for the dance. No offense. It just sends out the wrong message. Ya know?"

I nodded in agreement, stretching out, catching a few rays of warmth of my own. "I know what you mean, but I am sure people don't take it too seriously. I mean, Alonzo danced it with Demeter last year. Everyone knows that that meant nothing. We are the same as them. Just good friends."

Plato sprawled out next to me, deciding my idea was a good one. "I hope so." He mumbled into the ground.

After a few moments of silence and warmth, Plato lifted his head and placed it on his paws, eyeing me with a smirk. I met his eyes with a questioning smile. "Yes?" I asked.

He chuckled again, looking down at me, one eyebrow cocked. "Anyways, I wasn't your only dance partner last night."

I blushed and looked away. I had tried to forget, though the tom had remained like a shadow in the back of my mind.

The Jellicle Ball always brought cats from all over the place to the junkyard, like Exotica. She came once a year for about a week or two before returning to wherever she came from. This year, a new cat had come to the ball, a small tuxedo tom. Munkustrap had welcomed him graciously into our ranks and insisted that he stay for a while. There was a little talk about the new tom, but everyone had been so busy with preparations for that ball that no one really thought about a new cat. If Munk had welcomed him, then there were more important matters to take care of.

However, near the end of my solo for the Invitation dance, he had burst out from a nearby pipe and immediately begun to dance with me. I had quickly adapted to his pose, though a little surprised at his sudden appearance. He had quickly run his paws down my leg and I immediately had sat up, to the side of him, letting him dance as he wished. I assumed he just wasn't aware of our customs. But he had summoned me up to dance with him and I just followed his lead, smiling as he began to sing the invitation in a beautiful, tenor voice.

I heard another laugh and looked back at Plato, who was looking down at my legs. I realized that I had been absent-mindedly running my hand gently down my right leg, the leg that _he_ had touched. My blush intensified and looked away immediately.

However, I couldn't stay silent forever, and I wasn't clever enough to sneakily change the subject. "Do you know who he is Plato?" I asked, still unable to look at him, out of embarrassment. I mean, it can't be that I love this mysterious shadow of a tom. I haven't really even spoken to him. We did exchange a few words at the ball after our little dance. And I couldn't help but flirt with him a few times, and I liked to think that he flirted with me too. "I mean, I figured out his name is Mr. Mistoffelees. Fr-from the song." I stammered, still embarrassed, remembering his song when he brought Deuteronomy back. "But do you know who he is? Have you seen him today? Have to spoken to him? Did you talk to him at the ball? Do you know where he came from? Have to spoken to any of the adults ab-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Plato said, sitting up, laughing. "I promise you I don't know any more than you do. Promise. In fact you probably know more than I do. You actually spoke to him at the ball! I saw you two together, especially during Gus, the Theatre Cat's song!" He replied, nudging me on the shoulder.

My blush deepened and I sat up. "He's like a mysterious shadow. He came out of nowhere. And now I don't really know where he came from or why. I just want to know who he his…" I mused.

Plato stood up and stretched in the sun. "Well, I do think I have to go and talk with Munk, I should be going on patrol soon anyways." He yawned with a smile. "And on patrol we do have to keep an eye on the shadows. Maybe I can talk with Munk about a few of them too." He added with a wink as he began to stroll away towards the clearing, leaving me to my thoughts.


	2. When You Say It

**Chapter 2: When You Say It**

**A/N: Hey guys, shout out to ****Mistoffelees Fan-kit, Magical Marvel Mr. Mistoffelees, and C. Lennox! It means a lot to know someone is reading my story and that I am doing a decent job! Thanks so much!**

**So here is our second installment, but as is expected, I do not own Cats, if I did… I wouldn't even know! I'd have private performances on a daily basis probably!**

**Anyways, enjoy and review please! I love to know how I am doing. **

With Plato gone and the sun continuing to warm my fur, I relaxed and began to go over last night's events in my head. Normally I would be out and about, interacting with the other members of the tribe, helping to take down the decorations from the ball. However, today seemed to be a lazy day. Aside from the daily patrols, no one was going about his or her usual activities. They were probably just like me, relaxing and soaking in everything that had happened.

Everything had gone smoothly at first. That is, not including the mystery cat's surprise during my invitational dance. Jenny's number went splendidly and it was always so fun to watch Tugger's dance.

I giggled at the thought of his dance number.

All the songs that featured a cat, such as Jennyanydots's and the Rum Tum Tugger's, involved practiced choreography. This meant that the cats that didn't live in the junkyard, such as Exotica, usually didn't participate in those numbers. However, the opening number, Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats, and the Jellicle Ball are numbers where no choreography is needed. Any Jellicle cat can participate in those dances; they were instinctual, and almost primal. The moves came instinctually to the music, and some other feeling that only the Everlasting Cat, himself, could explain drove our limbs as we twirled around the clearing.

However, even though the visiting cats don't usually participate in the individual numbers, that Mr. Mistoffelees really sent Tugger for a spin. I laughed again as I remembered him adding his own line to Tugger's song and Tugger's dumbstruck expression as he was called "a terrible bore". That was all he really added, but after that, he stayed clear of the choreography, even though he was a wonderful dancer. I had kept a subtle eye on him throughout the ball. He had easily slid into the dance of the ball, and seemed to be one of the most talented dancers I had ever seen; he could surely compete with me in dancing prowess.

There was more to him than dancing though. When Old Deuteronomy had been catnapped by Macavity, fear had spread throughout the tribe. I remembered staying huddled in the oven as the fight with Macavity had ensued. That was the feline that my mother had so feared. He was the reason I had been brought to this junkyard as mother decided to flee. He was _terrifying_!

Shortly after, however, Tugger began singing a song, one that none of us had heard of before. And that magical cat entered the junkyard like a true magician. I couldn't help but smile as he lit up the junkyard. Old Deuteronomy was soon brought back, and the magician disappeared once again.

"HEY VIKI!" I heard squealed across the yard. I looked up, ears perked forward. I knew that voice anywhere.

A blur of fur darted up to me and stopped right in front of my face. I was greeted with a giant smile in a cream and black tabby face. Etcetera's entire body seemed to be shaking with her contained energy. I loved that about her.

"Hey Cetty. Did you sleep well?" I asked sitting up to hug my friend.

"Of course! How can you not when you constantly see Tugger in your dreams?" She said laughing, giving a little bounce to emphasize her words.

I nodded in hypothetical agreement. That was not really my idea of happiness, but I knew how much it meant to Cetty. In addition, I admired her attitude. She was open with her emotions. When she was angry, she was angry, and when she was happy, she was nothing but smiles. I don't think that she could lie and manipulate even if she wanted to. She had even attempted to fight Macavity, while I stayed hidden. And now, everything was okay, and she was ready to move on. It was as if the events of last night never happened to her. I respected that the most in my friend, and even though she was a bit younger, I really looked up to her and hoped I could somehow be more like her.

"Well I am glad. And I know you got plenty of sleep!" I joked, standing up and beginning to walk one of the many paths around the junkyard. I knew better than to try and make Etcetera sit still.

She happily walked with me, still vibrating with energy and enthusiasm. "So…" she started bashfully, "Who was that mysterious tom you were with last night?" she finished slyly.

I chuckled, looking around at the piles of junk around me. "I don't know. I was hoping you would know. It seems that Tugger knew who he was pretty well." I stated, hiding the little disappointment I had. I really did hope that Cetty had spoken to Tugger about him. Especially since no one else seemed to know who he was.

"Oh. Sorry." She said, though never losing her smile. "It didn't even occur to me to ask. I mean, whenever I am with Tugger, I don't think to ask about other toms." She giggled, playfully batting my arm.

After a bit more chatting about the other events of last night, and a lot of exclamations about Tugger, we heard a low, baritone voice greeting the cats we had left behind at the clearing. As soon as the voice reached my ears, I knew our conversation was over. Tugger was awake and about.

Cetty gave me a sly smile, and I nodded in response. She mewed a quick 'thank you', and took off towards the clearing.

Just then I heard a soft laugh that seemed to remind me of velvet. I looked around quizzically. I normally would have been scared, but the laugh seemed so soft and gentle.

I continued to look around, until I saw a wooden apple crate at the bottom of one of the many junk piles. Within the bar-like shadows of the crate, a small, white face was watching me with deep ochre eyes.

I squinted, trying to see who had been watching us, wondering how much of our conversation this stranger had heard. However, all I could see was a white face and a small white bib below it. I couldn't think who it could possibly be.

I suddenly recognized what little of the coat pattern I could see. It was the shadow that had stayed in the corner of my mind, the mysterious Mr. Mistoffelees. I stepped back a little in shock, hoping he had only heard our conversation about Tugger.

He cautiously emerged into the sunlight, squinting from its brightness. His eyes had met mine, it was almost as if I was entranced. He gave a shy smile and finally looked away, mumbling a soft "Hello."

Once he looked away, I released the breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding. I gave a faint smile back, taking a step towards him, closing the space between us. I couldn't help myself, I just felt the need to be near him, as if there was a string constantly tugging me closer and closer to him.

"Hi." I replied shyly, "You are Mr. Mistoffelees, right?" I had taken another step towards him.

He stayed where he was, staring down at his paws, which he had started to fiddle with. "Well, um, yeah. But that's just a stage name… you can call me Quaxo." He answered with a bashful smile while looking up at me.

"Oh, okay. Nice to meet you, Quaxo. I am Victoria." I took another step closer to him so we were only a foot or two apart. I held out my paw in greeting.

He gently held the back of his paw to mine, returning the gesture. He also added a slight bow of his head. I suppressed a kittenish giggle and held my free paw in front of my mouth, to hide my bubbly smile. "I-it was a pleasure dancing with you." I stammered, blushing. I had retracted my paw from our greeting and had let is stay at my side, laying it softly against my leg again.

I noticed he blushed as well and quickly looked away from me again, suddenly finding something fascinating on the ground. "Uh, hehe. Same here. Er, I don't mean dancing with me… I mean it was awesome dancing with you. Not that the others aren't fun to dance with. I mean it was just- Well what I am trying to say is- I am sorry." He finally stated after a rush of words, glancing up at me.

He must have seen my questioning look because he quickly added, "I mean for interrupting your dance, at the beginning. I just couldn't resist, you looked so amazing. I know it's not my place. I really shouldn't have done that. I mean, I am not normally like that, outgoing that is. But thanks for going along with it. You could have just yelled at me, or something. But you played along like a pro. I almost felt like we had rehearsed it you looked so amazing. I mean I have never-"

I held up a paw and laughed again. "Remember to breathe." I joked eyeing him amusedly. He had said everything in one breath and I couldn't suppress my giggles any more. I had always thought I was a shy cat, but this cat took the cake.

After a bit of laughing while he continued to stare at the ground, I figured that I had laughed enough. I didn't want him to think I was laughing _at_ him. "I am sorry, Quaxo. You are just acting so cute." I blurted out.

He immediately looked up at me, eyes wide.

I gasped immediately wishing I hadn't said it. Why did I say that? It was so forward of me. This was the first time we had properly met each other. We weren't good enough friends to say those things, were we? Not to mention I probably offended him. Toms don't like to be called cute. That is so kittenish, or queen-like. I mean, he was a small tom, maybe he had been made fun of. I immediately tried to fix my own slipup, mentally cursing myself for letting such a phrase escape my normally composed self.

"I am sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I swear! It just came out…" I was looking down at the ground now, glancing about, trying to find the words to remedy the situation as if I would find them written on the ground. "I just meant that the way you strung all your words together was endearing. It made me laugh and I-I-I…" I was at a loss.

I suddenly felt a warm touch on my forearm. I looked up immediately so see soft, copper eyes looking back at me. His white face was more relaxed, erupting in a gentle smile. He made his gaze hold mine, and I realized that the situation might not be a lost cause. "It's okay. I normally don't like being called cute. But for some reason, when you say it, I don't mind so much."

We both blushed at his words and broke our gazes away from each other. At least he had white fur too, since I could also see his blush, I knew I wasn't the only one who had been affected by his words. We stayed like that for a moment, before I looked down and realized that his paw was still on my arm. He looked down as well and gave a quick laugh before retracting it back to his side.

"Plus, you tried so hard to make sure that I was not upset." He added with a laugh. "I imagine no one could be mad at you even if they tried."

I looked back at him and giggled, relieved that I hadn't made and enemy out of him. I just had to know who he was, and him disliking me would create a problem with that goal.

"Thank you for understanding." I mewed, trying to gain my composure back. "You are new here, right?" It wasn't really a question, but I felt weird telling him these things. "Has anyone shown you around?" I wanted as much time with him as I could manage.

He gave a quick nod, holding his paws in front of him, fiddling with them.

"Has anyone given you a tour?"

He opened his mouth for a moment to reply, and then closed it again. He began again. "Well, Munkustrap gave me a brief tour…"

I sighed. Of course Munk did. Why did I think he might not have? It's not like Munk would have accepted him and then told him to find his own way around.

"But-but it was only a brief one!" He added quickly, bending over and craning his head to look me in the eyes. "I wouldn't call it a complete tour!"

I don't know if he said that for me or if he really meant it, but it made me extremely happy. I broke into a huge smile. With unprecedented boldness, I grabbed his paw and began to race towards the clearing. "Well let me give you a complete one!" I called over my shoulder. I don't know what had come over me, but with Quaxo around, I didn't feel as shy. It was a strange feeling.

I didn't know what to show him first. I wanted to show him everything. I wanted to show him my world, all of it. And I didn't want this tour to end. This was a rather strange feeling…

From behind me I could hear the velvety laughter, and decided to add my own, making a beautiful harmony as we dashed towards the junkyard.

**Well let me know what you think! I love writing their interactions! Mistoria is definitely my favorite! But I feel like there is just a lot of talking… Hmm. Though I am definitely getting to the stuff that is in my head. More action. Thanks for reading through the talking though! **


	3. Time to Meet Everyone

**Chapter 3: Time to Meet Everyone**

**A/N: Hey, this has been an easy week, so I am just writing at my own pace. But I have been able to pump things out. Love the way the story is going. Hope you do too! And since I have not inherited Cats, I still do not own it. Sad day, I know. **

We finally came to a halt as we came to the end of the clearing. I suddenly questioned my decision. I knew I was being silly, but I didn't want to introduce him to others just yet. I had the strange urge to keep him to myself. I almost gave into my selfish desire, but I decided against it and began to walk into the clearing.

As soon as we began to walk across the clearing, I dropped his paw. Even though Quaxo made me feel more comfortable around him, I was still self-conscious about the gossip that always circulated the junkyard.

Few cats were up, and those that were awake were absorbed in their own conversations and sunbathing. No one turned to look at us, and I loved it. The longer it took others to notice that I had brought the new tom among them, the better it was for me. I started by pointing out anything my gaze fell upon: the TSE car was a prime sunbathing location, Jelly's clinic den, the clearing was a general meeting place, and the tallest junk pile where one could see the whole junk yard.

Every time I pointed something new out, I would sneak a look at Quaxo. He always responded with a polite nod and smile. I could only assume that I was showing him nothing new. Who was I kidding? Munk probably gave Quaxo the best tour he could. Munkustrap was so proud of our yard that there was no way he wouldn't give the highest quality tour possible.

Finally, in some desperate attempt to show him something he hadn't seen, I pointed towards a dilapidated wardrobe in the side of a junk pile. "That, there, is my den." I sneakily tried to peak at his reaction to my statement. His eyebrows rose up and he smiled, again giving his polite nod. Only the eyebrows were different from his previous reactions.

Then it hit me. Why would he care where I lived? I began to blush again and felt it begin to creep up into my ears. I quickly looked away from him and searched the area. What was with me? I had always had such a composed attitude about me, but I kept saying things without fully thinking them through. I quickly pointed out the other nearby dens, making it look like I just wanted him to know where everyone lived. He continued to nod at each den. Surely Munkustrap hadn't pointed out every den. _That _would have been ridiculous.

I suddenly had a bright idea; I could show him my favorite spot in the entire yard. I was about to turn to grab his paw again and take off towards our destination when I was suddenly hit from behind and went sprawling onto the ground, a weight resting on my back. I let a hiss escape my lips before I heard the laughter from behind me.

"Gotcha Vik!" came a voice from in between bursts of laughter.

I let a smile crack my lips as I put all my energy into rolling over, causing the offender to fall off to my side. I quickly got up, brushing the dirt from my fur. I turned towards the cat still lying on the ground, my arms folded across my chest and a look of mock sternness on my face. The patched cat was curled up on the ground, arms clutching his stomach, laughing.

"You said there was no way I'd pin ya! Ha!" He laughed, wiping a tear from his eye.

I gave a brief "Humph." And began tapping my foot on the ground. "Either way, I don't see how it's so funny Pouncival!" I gave a slight pout for emphasis.

After a few more moments of laughter, Pounce got up, brushing himself off as well. "You were just so sure that there was no way I'd sneak up on you. I'm just so proud of myself!" A huge grin plastered across his face. "And it was so much fun! You should've seen your face!" He began to chuckle again, but quickly kept the burst in check.

I rolled my eyes then looked around for Quaxo. He had backed up into the shade of a nearby junk pile, his fur was slightly on end. I gave him what I thought was reassuring smile and held my paw out to him, beckoning him to come towards us. "Well, Pouncival, you frightened my friend! This is Quaxo, also known as Mr. Mistoffelees." I stated as Quaxo cautiously stepped towards us, eyeing Pouncival warily.

I was a bit bummed that our time alone was at an end, but I knew that it was best to introduce Quaxo to other cats his age. I allowed myself the pride of being his first real friend here at the junkyard; at least that was what I assumed.

Pounce smiled and greeted Quaxo by extending his paw towards the tuxedoed tom. Quaxo reciprocated the gesture, and again bowed his head ever so slightly. I smiled once more; it was such an endearing quirk.

"Hey Quax! You were AMAZING last night!" Pounce exclaimed, causing the shy tom to look away with a slight blush. Pouncival looked from me to Quaxo and back at met. "What is it? Cat got your tongue?" He asked, stifling his laughter at his own joke.

Quaxo broke a smile and looked back at Pouncival. "N-nothing's wrong. I just didn't know what to say, I guess. But it is nice to meet you."

I hid a smile behind my paw. This young tom was so shy, there really was no other word that came to mind but cute. However, I had learned that lesson, and I was not going to let that phrase slip out again, especially in front of Pounce.

I decided to add myself to the conversation, because the conversation wasn't going anywhere. "Hey, Pounce. Are the others awake?"

He finally turned to me, interrupting his study of the strange new cat within his company. Pouncival always had trouble understanding shy cats, since he had no idea what that felt like. "I think so. Well, I know Plato's on patrol with Munk, Tumble's been following Lonzy around like a baby Peke, and Cetty is attached to Tugger, of course." He said, rolling his eyes. "But those three aside, I'm pretty sure everyone's awake and lounging around by the tire."

After a moment of thought, Pounce turned to Quaxo, a bright smile across his face, as if he came up with a brilliant idea. "Quax!" He exclaimed, placing his paws on the other tom's shoulders.

I wondered briefly if that nickname would catch on, from Quaxo's grimace, I am pretty sure he didn't like it. I didn't really like it either; it made him sound like he was crazy or something. However, I knew better than to try and persuade Pounce out of a nickname he had created.

"Why don't you come meet everyone! I mean, those you haven't met yet! I'm sure they'd love to meet you!" And without giving the Quaxo a chance to respond, the energetic tom grabbed his arm and began to drag him back towards the clearing.

The conjuring cat looked back at me, ochre eyes wide with what looked like a plea for help. I smiled and shook my head, playfully refusing his entreaty. I jogged next to him as he was rushed to the clearing. "You'll be fine." I whispered, making sure he knew that I wasn't throwing him to the wolves. "Everyone is so nice."

We passed the TSE cars and only a few adults looked up as we passed, our giggles interrupting their peaceful afternoon. I could only assume that most of the cats had met Quaxo already, or already knew who he was. In fact, I am sure a lot of them spoke to him after the ball.

We slowed down as approached the tire, though Quaxo was still, relentlessly being dragged by Pouncival. Sitting prettily on the tire was Jemima, giggly uncontrollably as Electra, who was sitting next to her, continued to speak. Electra was leaning forward, making everyone lean in to hear her, while she, herself, was trying her best to contain her laughter. She was clearly telling quite the clever joke or story. Admetus was lying on his side, facing the two young queens, but his laughter was clearly heard resonating in the clearing. Mungojerrie was sitting with his back to us, but I could see him clutching his stomach, doubling in over in laughter. As always, Rumpleteazer was right next to her brother, one paw on his back, and the other paw held out towards Electra, as if asking for a pause in the story, in order to give her and her littermate time to breathe.

As we got close enough that I could distinguish each individual's laughter, Pouncival let got of Quaxo's paw and jumped deftly onto the tire. "What's so funny?" He demanded eyeing the circle full of gasping cats as they began wiping tears from their eyes.

Electra sat up straight, trying to stifle her laughter and look as serious as she could manage. "Well." She started, still gasping for breath. "I was just telling them the story of how I surprised you this morning."

With that statement Pouncival paled, taking a step back. "You didn't!" he gave a slight hiss, looking around at the faces on the tire, hoping to call Electra's bluff.

Admetus met his gaze with a single sentence. "I still see some paint on your tail." The gray and tan cat pointed at a small blue spot halfway down Pouncival's tail. And with that singular statement, the tire erupted in laughter again as Pounce quickly grabbed his tail, trying to rub the spot out.

"It's not my fault. She caught me while I was sleeping! Everyone knows you don't pounce a sleeping cat!" He called out, a blush spread across his face.

By that time, Quaxo and I had reached the tire and began to climb up on it, a little behind Pounce. "I want to hear this story!" I mewed as I took a seat next to Jemima and Quaxo sat right next to me, looking all the other cats over.

Pouncival was quick to take our appearance to his advantage and change the subject. "Oh yeah. Hey everyone, this is Quax. He was Mr. Misto-fleas last night."

"It's Mistoffelees." Quaxo quietly corrected.

"Whatever. You go by Quaxo anyways." Pouncival turned to the others, and pointed them out as he said their name. "Here's Jemima, Electra, Admetus, Mungojerrie, and Rumpleteazer."

Everyone waved and said a quick 'hello'. At the end of the introductions, Quaxo gave a feint smile and greeting. "Hey everyone. It's nice to meet you all."

Everyone then began talking at once about how in awe they were with his magic act last night.

I smiled as the others slowly brought Quaxo out of his shell. I was content to sit and listen. It was what I normally did anyways. I had always been a shy kitten, and I hadn't grown out of it once I became a queen. I leaned back on the tire as everyone began trying to pry the secrets out of Mr. Mistoffelees's magical repertoire.

I glanced around me and saw Tugger relaxing in the sun, Cetty fiercely hugging one arm, while the other arm was wrapped around Bombalurina's shoulders. He was whispering in the scarlet queen's ear as she grinned impishly. Cetty was content to just be near Tugger and was smiling happily, purring her afternoon away.

I gracefully snuck out of the circle. As I strolled towards Tugger, I felt that string pulling at me again, telling me to go back to Quaxo, but I wanted to know more about him. I knew the best person to speak to was Tugger. Since he had sung Mr. Mistoffelees's song, he must know quite a bit about the new tom.

I approached the trio and gave a slight nod in greeting as I received the same gesture from all three of them. I sat down next to Cetty, though facing the two reclining adults, with the tire still in my line of site.

"Hey cutie pie." Came the silky smooth voice that still made me melt, just a little bit. There was really no way to avoid all of The Rum Tum Tugger's charms, though I wasn't as entranced as Cetty was. As soon as he let those three words resonate in his chest, her purring became substantially louder.

Bomba gave a sultry chuckle and glanced at Cetty. "What brings you over here? It seems your friends are having a lively conversation." No matter what she said, it always sounded like she was purring her words. It was no wonder that she had been able to catch Tugger's eye.

I shrugged, trying to act like I had just come over for some different company. "I was just wondering." I said, allowing my gaze to drift back to the tire. Quaxo had begun to laugh and Pouncival was blushing again. I am sure he had been told the story that I had just missed. "I was wondering about the newcomer. You seemed to know a lot about him." I looked back at Tugger, who was eyeing the group on the tire as well.

"Well, I do know a bit." He mused, looking back at me. "What, exactly, did you want to know?"

I looked steadily back at the maned tom. "I mean, just where he's from, I guess. You know, who he is and stuff." I hoped I didn't wound too desperate or anything.

I must not have because Tugger just shrugged and glanced back at Quaxo. "I don't know too much. But he's staying with us." He said as he squeezed Bomba, who smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "He's the nephew of Bustopher Jones, Quaxo is his sister's son. When the young tom was born, they knew pretty quickly that he was magical. But that was before Cori and Tanti were with us, so Quaxo and his mom left to find someone to help him control his powers. Anyways, they were gone for a while, but I guess the young kit finally came back, and Bustopher sent him here. That's all I have really garnered from the boy." Tugger said, reclining farther with the two queens on either side of him and closing his eyes.

I nodded solemnly. I wasn't sure if that was really all Tugger knew, but I knew that was all I was going to get.

"You can always ask him." Came a voice from next to me. I saw Bomba with one eye open. She must have been watching me. I quickly looked away from her gaze; she was always so quick to pick up on things. I hoped she didn't notice my staring at Quaxo, or somehow sense this kind of tugging I felt towards to him.

"I know." I mumbled, gazing at the group again, once I was sure Bomba had closed her eyes once more.

At this time, the conversation seemed to have died down on the tire, and I figured I should probably go back. However, Quaxo had looked to the spot I had occupied earlier, and then began to look around frantically. He said something to the group. Admetus, who was across from him in the circle and facing me nodded in my direction. Quaxo whipped his head around, and his gaze fell on me. His eyes almost looked as if there was relief in them. He began to stand up, and so did I.

I said a quick word of thanks to the trio and headed towards the tire. Quaxo gracefully jumped down and walked towards me. "I was wondering where you'd gone." He said. His voice sounding almost worried. I decided to ignore it and smiled with a shrug.

"Sorry, I just came to talk to my friends. I figured you could handle yourself." I pointed behind me, "That tabby attached to Tugger's arm, that's my friend Etcetera. We all call her Cetty though."

He nodded glancing at Cetty, but returning his copper eyes to me. "Oh" was all he could say in reply.

Just then, a white and tan paw draped itself around my shoulders and I turned to see a smiling Plato next to me. "Well, well, well." He mused, glancing between me and Quaxo, who had stepped back to eye the large, muscular tom. It was quite amusing so see the two so close to each other. Plato was such a large tom, and powerfully built, while Quaxo was a lean, petite cat. Plato seemed to tower over the magical feline. "I go on patrol, making Munk think I am crazy 'cause I am investigating every nook and cranny trying to find your little shadow. And you had him with you all along. Hello there, I am Plato." He laughed, snaking his arm off of my shoulder and extending it towards the object of his supposed search.

I blushed, looking sternly at Plato. He wasn't supposed to tell Quaxo I had been curious about him. I didn't want to look creepy. However, when I glanced over at the tom across from me, I am not sure he fully paid attention to Plato's words, or even cared, because he didn't even look fazed.

He, too, extended his paw. "I'm Quaxo. Though you may know me as Mr. Mistoffelees."

Plato nodded and looked back at the tire. The conversation had obviously continued without us. "I assume you met everyone else. Anyways, if you will excuse me." And with a wink at me, Plato jogged over to the tire, effortlessly jumping up to the group and greeted everyone.

Quaxo looked back at me, his eyes wide in astonishment. "He's big!" he said matter-of-factly.

I just nodded. "Yeah. He's not that intimidating though. I grew up as his neighbor. He's like a brother to me, and more like a stuffed pillow than a threatening feline."

Quaxo just looked at me like I was crazy. I laughed, rolling my eyes. I grabbed his paw again, this time not caring if anyone saw us, and pulled him back towards the tire shouting, "I really want to hear this story about Pouncival!" And the tire erupted in laughter again.

**Hope you like it! I love talking about everyone together, though I get to writing and I realize, 'Hey I kind of forgot about Quaxo and Vik. Darn'. But I just don't want it to feel like they are the only cats in the yard, ya know? Anyways! I am super excited for my next chapter! It will include the scene that started this fanfic, and is my favorite, in my head. It should be up soon, hopefully tomorrow if I can keep up this pace! Thanks again for reading! **


	4. Shadows in the Snow

**Chapter 4: Shadows in the Snow**

**A/N: I love having this time to myself where I can just write as the inspiration directs me. That aside, still don't own cats. Sorry. **

**I must also apologize that this chapter is so much longer than I expected! I started writing the little episode with Alonzo and the chapter just kept going and going. It's just, like I said, I like to make it seem like the other cats actually are in the Junkyard as well. **

A few weeks had passed since the ball, and, to my pleasure, Quaxo had decided to stay in the junkyard. Even though his uncle had returned back to his residence on St. James Street, Quaxo had requested to stay behind. Munkustrap and Bustopher had agreed to the little tom's request. Quaxo had taken up residence in a small pipe at the base of a pile of junk that opened into the clearing.

He had quickly befriended almost all of the cats in the tribe, with the exception of Coricopat and Tantomile. He always said that the two cats creeped him out and tried his best to avoid them. Even when I argued that the two were mystic cats, just like him, he shook his head. He told me that it was entirely different; the two always seemed to sense what you were thinking, he felt like he had no privacy around them. Privacy was a huge part of Quaxo's life. He was such a timid cat, I could really not think of anyone shyer.

I had learned to do some growing myself. I had to learn to share my new friend, even though I really didn't want to. He had become extremely close to Pouncival and Tumblebrutus, and had started to hang out with them more and more. It was during those times that I would play around with Jem or go and talk to Plato. However, no matter where I was, Quaxo stayed in the back of my mind, and I still felt a feint tugging on my heart. Whenever I gave myself over to thinking about those feelings, I always gently scolded myself. I was acting ridiculous. I was sure that we were just friends, and I had no need to complicate things with silly kittenish fantasies.

I opened my eyes, removing myself from my thought-filled reverie. It was early morning and time to wake up. I smiled as I playfully batted the mirror ball that hung from my ceiling, sending the small rays of light into a dancing frenzy across the walls. I grabbed a baby blue ballet ribbon and tied it around my neck, quickly brushing my headfur under control.

I slunk out from the hole in the side of the wardrobe that was my den and breathed in the fresh air. I smiled as I was greeted with a pleasant sight. The yard was covered with soft blanket of white. I let out a laugh as I gave my hands a single clap in front of my face. I adored snow. It was so beautiful, yet fleeting. It silently danced about the world, giving nature time to rest before leaving as silently as it had come. Additionally, it was one of the few things that I had left that reminded me of my mother. She had always said that I danced like the drifting snow, and that phrase had stayed with me all my life.

"Honestly, Vik! I will never understand your love for this confounded stuff." Came a shivery shout from my right.

I looked over towards the junk pile, and sitting on an old mattress, a little ways up, was huddled Plato, eyeing me suspiciously. I bounded my way up the pile, carefully choosing the most secure path. Once I had my paws securely on the mattress, I reached over and playfully batted the mottled tom on the ear.

"Oh stop your complaining! It's not even that cold! And look how beautiful the yard looks. You wouldn't even know that under that snow was a pile of trash."

Plato shrugged, smiling. He sat up, stretching his arms and back nonchalantly. "Whatever you say. You _are_ the snow fairy." He joked. Plato was the only one I had told stories of my mother to. He had loved my mother's idea of befriending a snow fairy, and was quick to call me one myself. "Anyways, Miss Fairy, Quaxo was looking for you earlier. I told him that if I saw you, I would tell you."

"Really?" My ears perked, scanning the area to see if I could my friend from my current perch.

It was my turn to receive a soft box to the ear and I turned to face Plato. "Now why on earth would I lie to you about that?" He joked. "Anyways, I am sure he is back at the clearing."

I was about to take off down the pile and towards the clearing, when I stopped to look back at Plato. I felt bad. We had been such good friends, almost inseparable. We were still good friends now, but recently, we had been spending more time apart, since I had been spending more and more time with Quaxo. At the moment, I was dying to go and see what Quaxo wanted, but I also felt like that was unfair to Plato. I had just sat down with him and now I was dying to leave his side.

It was almost as if the tom had read my mind because he chuckled, shaking his head, and began to groom his paw. "Really, Vik, don't mind me. Plus, there is someone I should be looking for myself." He smiled, refusing to meet my eyes. I knew he was talking about the lucky queen he had his eye on. I made a mental note to investigate into this further the next time Quaxo was out with Pounce and Tumble.

"So go already! And take this blasted snow with you!" He playfully shouted, as I turned and ran down the pile, laughing.

I began running to the clearing. I couldn't really explain it, but on the way I had developed a desperation to reach the clearing and therefore, Quaxo. For some reason, the fact that he had been looking for me made me boundlessly happy. However, a fear had also struck me. What if he had just been looking for someone to play with? Since I had been asleep, he might have moved on and found other cats to play with him. For this reason my steps quickened and I was sprinting to the clearing, hoping that I was wrong and Quaxo really wanted to see me for some specific reason.

Just as I reached the clearing, I felt my body slam into something I somehow overlooked. I could feel my body going reeling through the air as my limbs entangled in something else. All I could see was a blur of black and white tumbling before my eyes. I closed my eyes as I felt the object I had run into land roughly on the ground and I, on top of it. I felt the object under begin to quickly move up and down and I deep laugh erupt from under me.

I cautiously opened my eyes and looked down, see what it was that I had hit. Alonzo was lying sprawled out on the ground, laughing heartily. I gasped and scramble to get up, which was a challenge since I was on top of him. It seemed that everywhere I put my weight to get up was a limb of the adult tom. "I-I'm s-sorry! I wasn't l-looking where I was g-going." I stammered, still trying to detangle myself from Alonzo and get off him. As I looked around I saw a shocked Tumblebrutus rushing towards us to pry me off.

Alonzo continued to laugh, just lying there as Tumble grabbed me under the shoulders and lift me off of him. Even after I was securely removed from the patched cat and Tumble and I were peering over Alonzo's form, he just stayed on his back, eyes closed.

"What did you do?" Tumblebrutus asked, giving me a concerned look.

I shook my head. I had no idea. I leaned over again. "I-I really am sorry!"

Suddenly deep brown eyes shot open "Boo!" came a bellowing reply. Tumble and I each let out a howl of surprise as we jumped a few feet in the air, our fur bristling. We must have looked like quite the sight, because Alonzo was howling in laughter again, as he struggled to stand up between gasps for air. "That's what you get for surprising me!" He howled. "And as much as I love playing with you kits, I can't do it while I am on patrol." He panted, patting me on the head and then scratching me behind the ears.

I frowned, giving a small pout. I hated that he still called me a kit. I had been a queen for over three balls now, but he still saw me as the cute little kitten he had watched grow up. "There is a difference! Mine was an accident! I wasn't trying to scare you half-to-death!" I retorted, placing my paws on my hips and glaring at him, receiving a jester's grin in return.

"What are you two doing to poor Viki?" Came a stern voice from behind me. I knew that voice by heart. I whirled around to see Quaxo, standing as stern as ever, paws crossed across his chest.

Alonzo immediately stepped back laughing, holding his paws up in mock surrender. "Promise you Officer Quax, we didn't do anything! In fact, this young queen ran into me first." Pouncival's nickname had clearly caught on.

I smiled and playfully hit Alonzo's arm, rolling my eyes. "Really. Aren't you two supposed to be on patrol? Go be serious, if you can." I chided.

Alonzo let out another laugh, and grabbed Tumble's arm and walked away.

I watched them go with a small smirk on my face. It was amazing that such a jokester and flirt was the third in command, just under Munkustrap. But when it was time to be serious and protect the tribe, Alonzo really was quite a capable tom. But all the other times he was just so…so kittenish! I laughed. Well, you had to hand it to him, it made him well liked and trusted around the yard.

Quaxo quickly walked up to me, looking me up and down. "Are you really okay?" He asked with a small smile. "I just saw you, and your fur was dirty and you looked so mad…"

I patted Quaxo on the shoulder, "Really, I am fine. I, er, came running into the clearing and wasn't watching where I was going. I ran straight into him."

Quaxo gave a quick nod, helping me to pat the dirt and snow from my fur. "What were you running so blindly for?" He asked tilting his head in the most adorable manner.

I blushed again as I recalled just why I had been running so desperately. "Well, um, I, you see…" I decided the truth would be best. I am sure Quaxo would understand. "Plato said you wanted to see me. So I came running." I then decided a small white lie couldn't hurt that much, right? "And I had just woken up, and I was so full of energy and excited about the snow that, before I knew it, I was running."

Quaxo nodded with a large grin. "I am glad he told you. I did want to see you."  
"Well, what'd you want?" I asked, curious as to why he had wanted to see me so bad.

With that question, he immediately looked down at the ground and blushed. "I just wanted to see you. Nothing in particular. I have just been spending a lot of time with Pounce and Tumble, so I thought we'd spend the today together…"

My heart skipped a beat. I don't think there was anything he could have meant to say that would have meant more to me that that little, singular sentence. "I would like that very much!" I couldn't help it as my face broke into the brightest smile I think I could manage.

Quaxo immediately returned the smile and looked around. His face fell a bit as he saw Pounce and Mungojerrie turn the corner, ready to enter the clearing. "I wish there was a place we could hang alone." He muttered. We both knew that as soon as the two saw him, they would grab Quaxo and drag him away to help them with some prank or other.

An idea suddenly dawned on me. I had never taken him to that place I had meant to weeks ago. "There is!" I whispered, as I turned and began to run away from the clearing, weaving my way expertly around the junk piles. I could hear the slight pad of paws close behind me. My heart began to race again, not so from the exercise but to know that I had Quaxo close behind me.

I came to a sudden halt in an abandoned part of the junkyard. I felt Quaxo bump into me from behind; he clearly wasn't expecting the stop. I felt his paws swiftly grasp my waist, keeping me from falling forward. I suppressed a gasp as shivers ran down my spine. It was the same feeling I had had all those weeks ago at the ball when he let his paws run down my leg. I thanked the Everlasting Cat for the snow, at least I had something to blame the shivers on.

Once he was sure that I was steadily on my feet, he stepped forward to stand next to me, and with great happiness, I realized he had kept one paw encircling my waist. His eyes were wide at the sight before us, "Where are we?" He whispered, as if afraid to disrupt the peace of the area.

I followed his gaze with a proud smile. We were in my realm now and this was my territory alone. There was a small clearing before us, and we stood on the only path that led to the area. The clearing was large enough to roam around in, and could fit quite a few cats, but it was still significantly smaller than the usual meeting place where we held the ball. Surrounding the clearing was a rather large circular formation of trash. However, this dumpsite seemed to have been the site for the remains of some kind of show, or something. Brightly colored structures and vibrant cloths adorned the piles. Here and there, strewn throughout the mounds of trash were different kinds of lights: some string lights and some old stage spotlights. The soft blanket of snow only added to the location's natural beauty.

"This is my secret place!" I said triumphantly, running to the center of the clearing and doing a quick pirouette, coming to a gradual halt, facing Quaxo. "I was going to show you this on the day we met, but then we ran into everyone, so I couldn't. No one knows about this place. Not even Plato!" I said, lowering my voice and leaning towards him, as if to emphasize how grave this secret was and how special he should feel.

As soon as I said the last statement, Quaxo's face cracked into the biggest smile I had ever seen. "Really? Not even Plato?" He asked dumfounded.

"Not even Plato."

"Wow, Viki, thanks! I don't really know what to say. This place is beautiful! You must come here a lot."

I had been gradually going through various dance moves and I suddenly stopped: leg in midair and one arm gracefully held over my head. I let my limbs drop to the ground and looked at him sadly. "Why do you say that?"

He shrugged, taking a few steps towards me, glancing around him. "Well for one thing, everything has been cleared." He stated quite matter-of-factly. "Not even the main clearing is naturally like that. Junk falls into it all the time. We constantly have to clear it out." He then commenced to point towards the edge of the clearing, close to the junk piles. "Also, all the glass shards have been moved to the outer edges, making sure that they are out of the way of anyone's feet." I followed his pointed paw, and indeed, all the glass shards I had cleaned up were poking through the snow like dangerous wildflowers. "And, finally, even though it is covered with snow, I can feel that the ground is well packed down." He finished his analysis with a smile, and I realized that he was, perhaps, a bit _too_ observant.

I suddenly became a bit defensive. "Well this _is_ my secret place. I come here all the time, to dance… or think."

He smiled and stepped closer to me. "That's fine. I can just tell that this place is well loved." He added, copying my pirouette. When he came out of his spin, he landed in a familiar pose and whispered the word "Presto!" Suddenly, all the lights in the clearing came alive, illuminating the area and making the snow glitter in their radiance.

I gasped, holding my paw up to my mouth. I smiled and began to twirl around the clearing, laughing as light reflected of my fur. Quaxo also smiled and began to twirl with me, copying my movements exactly. We continued dancing around the clearing, our heartbeats the only music we had. Our laughter echoed around us, creating the illusion that we had an audience, cheering us on. He had begun kicking gracefully as I spun around him, his legs sending flakes of snow into the air, allowing them to drift down, almost like fairy dust. He lifted me up and I felt as if I were flying. As he set me back down we twirled some more, before I ran up towards him and jumped, fully trusting the petite magician. He easily caught me and spun, holding me tight. Our tempo became more and more frenzied. I finally was spinning so fast that I had tripped myself. As I went tumbling through the air, I reached out towards where I believed Quaxo to be. I felt steady paws grab my arms and we both fell into the snow.

I had landed on top of him, and I gently rested my head on his chest, purring blissfully. I soon heard his deep tenor purrs mixed with my soprano, I smiled and closed my eyes. After a few moments, I felt a gentle paw brush some fur out of my face. I opened my eyes to see Quaxo resting on his elbows so he could look down at me. "Hey, Viki, you really are an amazing dancer. It's almost entrancing." He gave a quick laugh looking up at the half moon that had just started its journey across the sky. "I can't take my eyes off of you, and I just want to dance along, become part of your world. Is that why you come here so often? To practice?"

I looked straight into his eyes for a bit before rolling off of him and onto my back, watching the moon and taking note of every star. "I guess you could say that. Dancing is more like an escape, I guess. When I am sad, or mad, or even happy, dancing allows me to express everything. I can be myself dancing, or I can escape myself. I come here to fuel that escape." I had never opened up this much to anyone before. Sure, I had hinted at things with Plato, but I never wanted to cause him to worry about me. However, Quaxo made me feel so comfortable that it seemed only natural to tell him these things.

"It sounds lonely." He replied thoughtfully, lying flat on his back so that our arms were just touching.

I looked down at my paws as I folded them over my stomach, and smiled sadly. "A little. When I was a kitten and new here, I wanted to be alone. I would come here and dance until I had no more tears left. It was just me and my shadow…"

Quaxo rolled over to look at me and I turned my head to meet his gaze. He studied me for a while. Then quickly stood up and held out his paw, inviting me to stand up to stand up as well. I took his paw and allowed him to gently pull me to my feet. He then turned me around so that I was facing away from him, and his paws were squarely on my shoulders. "Look." He commanded me sternly. The moon and surrounding lights were just bright enough, and I stared at our two shadows in the snow. "There are two now." He said, as if I couldn't see that. "I want you to remember that. Whenever you feel scared or lonely, look down. What did you used to call me?" He asked with a quiet chuckle.

I grimaced; I had always hoped that he didn't know the nickname I had given him before we met. "I called you My Mysterious Shadow." I answered reluctantly.

He laughed again and I could his breath on my neck as another shiver ran down my spine. Quaxo had begun to purr, "Right. Think of me as your shadow. I will always be with you, as long as you need a friend: for dancing or talking. Even if I am not right next to you, know that my heart is with you."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I nodded enthusiastically, spinning around and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, hugging with all my might.

I felt his arms enclose my waist as he pressed me against himself. I heard him whisper, ever so softly into my ear "Promise me you will remember what I said."

I nodded, and as best I could, I mumbled, "I promise!"

Our purring had, once again, become harmonized. My eyes had begun to dry, but I was loath to let go of Quaxo. Perhaps there was potential for more in our relationship, and I gladly welcomed that opportunity. Just then, a Peke began barking nearby, making me jump. I knew we were close to the edge of the yard, but I really hated Pekes.

Quaxo's head jerked up in response, giving a slight hiss in the direction from which it came. He must hate them as much as I did. He looked back up at the moon and released me from his embrace. "Viki, I-I am sorry. I have to go on patrol. Gotta go. Will you be okay? I can walk you back."

I gave a slight smile and reached up, brushing some of his fur from his face, cupping his cheek in my paw. "I'll be fine. Go, Munk'll be mad if you're late. Plus I would like some time to dance with myself…and my shadow." I said, smiling coyly.

Quaxo nodded and took a step back, never taking his eyes off mine, holding my paw against his cheek. He then took a quick step forward and his lips brushed my cheek. With that last action, he turned on his heal and darted through the piles towards the clearing.

I held my paw to my against the spot he had kissed as I could feel it radiate heat from the blush that had crept over my face. I began to dance again, twirling from complete bliss. My shadow was no longer a sign of my solitude, but of a friendship that I shared, and a love that had begun to bloom.


	5. The Question We Share

**Chapter 5: The Question We Share**

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update guys. My easy week is over. I don't know how I feel about this chapter. All that keeps going on in my head is future chapters, but if I wrote them here, it would make no sense cause I have to set some stuff down. So this was actually really hard for me to write, and probably one of my least favorites. Oh well. Hope this chapter isn't too rough. Plus, this one shot for Demeter and Munk keeps rolling around in my head. I might have to write it soon to get it out. Just playing it by ear I guess. I can't want till things really start picking up and the conflict enters… It looks really awesome in my mind's eye. Haha Till then!**

**P.S. Still don't own cats. Thanks for checking though.**

I didn't stay long in the clearing. Even though I was unbelievably happy, dancing with myself couldn't really compete with Quaxo. I just wanted to see what it felt like to dance with my shadow now that it meant something entirely different. However, that eventually fell flat. I could still feel his paws securely around my waist, helping me to fly.

I gave one last look at the ground, smiling as I imagined my shadow gazing back at me with copper eyes. The lights around the clearing flickered for a moment before fading away. I looked around, slightly upset that the magic had died, then back to the ground. However, the moon had migrated to be directly overhead, and a feint shadow was still visible on the ground in front of me. Even though the magic had faded, my shadow was still with me, as it always would be.

I let out an uninhibited giggle and dashed to my den. I took my ribbon off as I entered and flopped onto my bed, smiling and giggling into my pillow. The morning couldn't come fast enough.

I wanted to see Quaxo again.

I awoke with a yawn and sprung up from my bed. I jumped in front of the broken half of a mirror that made my vanity and tamed my bed-head the best I could. I looked down at the ribbons that were spread across the floor, various pastels and vibrant hues found within the collection. I quickly grabbed the baby blue one I had worn yesterday. I knew it was silly, but the ribbon felt special now.

After I had successfully secured the ribbon around my neck, I ran out of my den, jogging towards the clearing. This time I made sure to watch where I was going. I didn't want a repeat of yesterday.

Once I got to the clearing, I glanced around, looking for one, singular cat. Most of the snow had been cleared from the ground and pushed towards the edges of the junk piles. Even the tire and the TSE car had been successfully cleared. Most of the cats hated the gentle dusting. Only I, and a select few of the kittens, appreciated it for the magic it held beneath.

My eyes scanned the area quickly, making sure that I looked in every shadow for the familiar face, smile, or eyes that I had come to adore in the past few weeks. However, my search came up empty-handed. I gave a quick sigh, my head and tail lowering in slight depression.

I heard a familiar giggle nearby and quickly lifted my head and taking a deep breath of the crisp morning air. What was I doing? There was no real reason to be depressed. Of course I would love to see the magician's handsome face, but just because he was not here did _not_ mean my day was ruined. I had other friends…

I gave a quick sigh, my head lowering slightly yet again. None of them would be as fascinating or dear to my heart as Quaxo.

I shook my head this time, lifting my head fully. I shouldn't be devaluing my friends. They were dear as well, and had been with me for a lot longer. I wasn't being fair. Additionally, Quaxo probably had to rest. He had left late for patrol, and I couldn't expect him to be awake this early.

The giggle sounded again, this time much closer. "Really Vik! What're you doing?" Came the petite voice, moving closer.

I blinked a few times, making sure that I had myself mentally under control, then a bashful grin towards the scarlet and black queen that was approaching me. "Hey Jem…" I met her eyes, and saw the amusement held within. "I'm not doing anything, really. I just woke up and came here."

She laughed and sat next to me, glancing between the clearing and me. "I see, I see. You were looking mighty crazy just now. Your head goin' up and down and shakin' and what not."

I nodded in agreement, not wanting to respond.

"So where's your little shadow?" She mewed, her innocent, endearing smile falling upon me.

I felt my eyes grow wide as my head shot up to face her. Had Quaxo told others? Did he see it as a joke, something to make fun of me? Or maybe Plato? "What do you mean?" I whined.

Jem giggled again as she scratched behind her ear. "Quaxo, silly! You two are always together. And he's black, ya know, like a shadow."

I nodded with a smile and an uneasy giggle. Why did I suspect my two dearest friends?

"Oh. He went on patrol late last night. So I bet he's still sleeping." I responded, letting a little more sincerity into my smile.

"Ugh! I am so glad that Munk never really asks queens to patrol. And I promise I will never volunteer for the job!" Jem replied with a quick nod for emphasis. "It sounds downright boring and all together inconvenient."

I laughed as I agreed whole-heartedly.

"Anyways, I should go. I promised Addie I would give him a singing lesson." She giggled as she stood up, spotting Admetus as he entered the clearing. "And he is going to need _a lot_ of lessons. I couldn't be happier!"

Jem continued to laugh as she dashed across the clearing, shouting Admetus's name as she went. I couldn't suppress a smile. Jemima had always had a crush on Addie, but she was such a shy queen. The two would be so cute together; Jem with her kitten-like ways just seemed suited for the gentle goofball who was content to let others take the spotlight. Admetus always made the best faces, and was quite the comedian during our balls.

Then it hit me; I had to find Plato. I had promised myself that the next time I was without Quaxo, I would find Plato and do some investigating. I began surveying the clearing yet again, this time with a new quarry. I was quick to spot my target.

Huddled in a ball on top of a blanket on the TSE car, a copper, mottled head was poking out from under another blanket. The eyes were shut in what I assumed was blissful sleep. It was that or they were shut in wishful thinking that the next time they opened the snow would be gone.

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a giggle as I quickly advanced towards the car. I have never met a cat that had such a low tolerance for the cold. Once I was close enough, I jumped silently up a nearby junk pile until I was level with the tom. Once at his level, I bent low into a crouch, silently padding across the car, closer and closer to lump under the blankets. I could feel my tail whip violently back and forth as I inched forward. Once I was within pouncing distance, I struck. My tense muscles sprang forth, and I outstretched my paws, ready to buffer my impact. I landed squarely on my intended mark, and felt it jerk with surprise.

A hiss emitted from beneath me as Plato rolled over, throwing me onto the hood next to him.

I had started laughing so hard that I had to clutch my stomach as tears began to make their way down my face. I looked up to see quite the comical sight of Plato. The big, muscular, intimidating cat held his back arched and hair on end. His face gave evidence to the momentary panic that had flooded through his body, and all of it was caused by a singular, playful queen.

Once Plato got sight of me and realized what had happened, he quickly flattened his hair and lunged for me.

I was still gasping for breath as I scrambled to get up and avoid the attack. However, his appearance had been too comical and my limbs refused to cooperate. Once I had finally convinced my legs to support my weight, it was too late. I felt the burly tom's body make contact with mine as we wrestled our way off the car and onto the ground.

However, just at the foot of the car was a small pile of snow. I smiled wickedly when I saw it. While Plato was busy trying to pin me to the ground, I grabbed a pawful and raised my arm up, making sure that the snow made contact with the side of his face.

Plato yowled with surprise as he jumped off of me, making sure to stay out of reach of any other surprises I might throw his way. I slowly got up and brushed myself off, a confident smile adorning my features. I looked at him triumphantly as he quickly picked the snow off his face and out of his ear.

"Not fair!" he moaned. "You know how much I hate snow! Plus it's stuck in my ear now!"

"Well that's why you never expose your weaknesses!" I purred, walking over and picking a few snow clumps out of his headfur.

"Not even to friends?" The corners of his mouth turned down in a playful pout.

"Oh! Especially not to friends." I chided, climbing back up onto the car so that I could sit on the blankets. "They are the worst and will use them against you the most."

Plato laughed and quickly jumped up onto the car to sit next to me. "And to what do I owe this playful visit?"

"You are my friend! Do I really need an excuse?" My statement was greeted with polite disbelief, causing me to add, "And Quaxo is still asleep. He patrolled late last night."

Plato looked at me questioningly before shaking his head, waving off whatever thought had popped into his head. "Well for once, I thank Everlasting Cat for patrols. It's been too long, Vik." He purred, nuzzling my shoulder.

I nodded and gave a soft purr back, before realizing the most important reason I had come looking for him. "I also came to do a little investigating."

Plato cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.

"I demand to know who you like." So much for subtly and secret investigations. I was just burning to know who it was.

A soft, singular laugh erupted from the tom as his eyes softened and he looked out towards the clearing where cats had gathered and begun to mingle. "Really? And since when do you get to make demands of me?" He asked playfully. A stubborn silence was maintained before he sighed and turned back to me. "She's a queen who's younger than me. But it doesn't matter, there is another tom she likes."

I quickly looked away, holding my breath. He couldn't possibly mean me, could he? We were just friends, practically siblings. I mentally fortified myself. There was no reason for me to be so full of myself. There were plenty of queens in the yard, and some of them were bound to like other toms. Plus, I had promised myself that I would find out who this mystery queen was today.

"Oh?" Was all I managed to let escape my lips.

"Yeah…" Plato took on a far off look has he looked back out into the clearing. "I mean, hers is nothing serious, kinda a playful crush. Plus, she has a little growing up to do. I have barely even talked to her."

I allowed the breath to escape my lungs, doing my best to make sure that it didn't sound like a sigh. "Just tell me who!" I demanded, but in a much gentler tone than before.

He smiled, turning back to me, almost a sad look in his eyes. "Promise you won't tell?" I gave a quick nod. After a bit of reluctance, he said a singular name, "Cetty."

I gasped, quickly looking into the clearing, seeing Cetty in her usual location, attached to Tugger's arm as he strutted about.

Plato continued, rushing his words together so quickly that I had to concentrate to make sense of any of them. "I mean, I know she loves Tugger. But I know she's not _in love _with Tugger. She just has some growing up to do. The fact that she is all over that flirty, and might I add, taken tom is because she is not ready for a serious relationship. It's just I love her attitude. I love the way she smiles when she's happy and cries when she's sad. I love how she sees life as a game, and she always sees the bright side to any situation. When I am just around her, and listening to her talk, I feel like I can be a better cat. I feel like I can enjoy life that much more…" He trailed off, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks.

I had never seen Plato blush before, and I was at a loss for words. Finally I said the only thing that came to my mind, "Well why don't you just go talk to her?"

He smiled that crooked smirk that only he and Mungojerrie had perfected. "Like I said, I don't think she is ready for anything serious. That's why she is all over Tugger without looking at other toms. And I _don't_ do things just for fun."

I placed a paw on Plato's, trying to make sure he knew that I sympathized with him. I could only imagine how heartbreaking it would be if I found out Quaxo didn't see me like I saw him. But some day, Plato and I would have to face our fears and our hearts, asking the question that so terrified us now: 'Do you love me?'

After a few moments of silence, Plato nodded his head towards the clearing, looking from me to whatever it was he wanted me to notice. I followed his direction until my eyes rested on a small, black and white tom slinking out from the pipe that was his den. Quaxo gave a great yawn as he stretched then began to rub sleep from his eyes.

I wasn't sure I wanted to leave Plato just yet. We had both made such a deep connection, that I wasn't sure it would be right to leave him.

He flashed me a genuine smile, "Go on little snow fairy, you've done enough damage here. Making me expose my secrets."

I knew he was joking, but I gave him a sad smile in return. Plato was too kind, I wasn't sure any queen would ever deserve him, but the pure, innocent Cetty definitely had the potential to. I gave him one last glance then turned and bounded off the car and across the clearing.

I stopped right in front of Quaxo with as brilliant a smile as I could muster, pushing the fears that my conversation with Plato had brought up out of my mind. "Morning Quaxo!" I said playfully.

He looked at me with a gentle smile and tried his best to make the word 'morning' intelligible through another great yawn. He looked horrible, as if he had not gotten any sleep at all. Stunned I asked, "Were you out on patrol _all night_? Didn't they let you get _any_ sleep?"

I was answered with a sly smile as he grabbed my waist and pulled me close, hugging me. "I was out 'til late. They were going to let me sleep in, but I didn't want to sleep too late, not when I could be spending that time with you."

My face was aflame as I listened to his words and hugged him back. I waited until my blush had dwindled before I relinquished my hold on him.

I finally stepped back, eyeing up the tom. He did look really tired. I contemplated making him go back into his den and go back to sleep. But how could I refute those words he had so willingly said? So I offered another alternative, "Why don't we go catch some breakfast? I haven't eaten yet."

Quaxo gave his silent assent as we strolled towards the area of the junkyard that was not inhabited by felines, and where the most mice usually were. Once there, we each quickly caught our mice, and then scaled a nearby junk pile to enjoy a view with our meal.

While we were eating, Quaxo kept shyly glancing at me, though saying nothing before turning away. My curiosity finally overtook me and I turned to him, "What is it Quaxo? I'm not blind, ya know!"

I had caught him in the middle of one of his many glancing episodes, and he immediately stared down at his mouse. "I was just trying to think of how to put this. It's funny, ya know? I can so readily tell you I want to spend the day with you, but this is so hard."

I cocked my head, curiosity flooding my body. I began to tremble with anticipation. What if it was bad news? What if it was good news? Why could he get me so worked up with so few words?

Finally he seemed to garner up his courage and he turned to face me and stare me square in the eyes. His copper orbs held mine and I found myself getting lost in them. I could only see the tom in front of me. I could only hear his breathing, I would've sworn I could even hear his heartbeat. "I don't want you to think that anything I said last night was said lightly. I really care about you Victoria."

Shivers coursed through my body just by hearing him say my full name with such meaning.

"And, well, you see Vik, I was wondering if… if…if you would be my queenfriend?"

My eyes never left his as the corners of my mouth began to turn up into a small smile. I gave a slight nod, almost afraid that if I moved too much I would wake up from this wonderful dream.

However, I did not wake up because this was no dream. Once I dared myself to move, I threw my arms around his neck, enthusiastically nuzzling his cheek. "It would make me the happiest queen in the yard." I purred into his chest.

I felt his chest vibrate with happiness as I heard his purrs mix with mine. I would never get tired of the sound of joys as they wove together into a perfect harmony.

That question Plato and I shared no longer terrified me.


	6. Confession

**Chapter 6: Confession**

**A/N: Here is your next installment. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It really means a lot to me. I live off reviews. So please, review. Even if you don't want to review, I still thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me. Still don't own Cats. Surprise, right?**

**Let the conflict begin!**

We had finished our meal hours ago, but were reluctant to head back to towards the clearing, towards the other cats. Just being so wrapped up in each other's world was all we needed at the time being. I couldn't think of anything that any other cat could offer that would be more exciting and more endearing than relaxing in Quaxo's presence, knowing that he was enjoying every minute of it as much as I was.

However, the sun had risen high into the sky, and we both agreed that it was about time to head back. We couldn't live in solitude forever, even one as pleasant as that was. We both bounded down the junk pile in a most playful manner. Our steps seemed to be a little bit lighter and our bounds were a little higher, I would have even said that the day looked brighter.

Once we reached the bottom, we both instinctually reached out our paws, taking hold of the other's. His paw felt so warm in mine, and as cliché as it sounded, they just seemed to fit perfectly. I smiled as a thought entered my head. I had mentally exclaimed that phrase that all lovers do: I would never let go of his paw. My brain then supplied me with how funny that would be if I ever actually acted as I thought.

A giggle had escaped my lips, causing Quaxo to look at me curiously, wondering what was so funny? I giggled again, "I was just thinking about never letting go."

I didn't think Quaxo actually understood why that was so funny to me, because a confused look entered his eyes and he just gave me a reassuring smile and my paw a slight squeeze.

We were about to come to the clearing, and I slowed my step. Part of me didn't want our time alone to end, and another thought crept into my mind, the same one that had slowed my steps on the day I had met Quaxo.

Cats talked, Jellicles gossiped. There was nothing wrong with that; it was just a fact of life. I had always just tried to avoid it. Did I now want them talking about my relationship with the new tom in the yard?

I then felt a slight tug on my arm as Quaxo had continued at our previous pace. He turned to glance at me, making sure that I was okay. Ours eyes made brief contact and I gave a quick squeeze of my paw and the jogged into the clearing, pulling him behind me. I realized I wanted them to see us. I wanted every cat in the junkyard to note how dearly we held each other's paws, how happy we were just being near each other. I wanted all of the Jellicles to see how in love we really were.

I heard Quaxo laugh behind me, and quickly began jogging to keep up with me as we entered into a clearing of knowing smiles.

Weeks had passed. Quaxo and I were still together, cherishing every moment of every day. We played around like kittens and talked to each other like adults.

I had abandoned all my ribbons except for the baby blue one. I don't know if he had noticed, but I did, and that was all that mattered. It was my favorite ribbon that would forever connect me to that night and our love.

Today had started out like any other day. I sat on the tire in the clearing, chatting casually with Jem, Cetty, and Plato. Whenever I had time with friends, I would always find Plato, and as we strolled about chatting, I made sure that we would run into Cetty, inviting her to join us. I'm sure that Plato noticed, though he never said anything. But every once in a while I received a smile of gratitude. However, I was starting to get frustrated. Plato was not making any improvement on the 'Cetty front'. He kept telling me that I wasn't thinking of Cetty, that she needed time to find herself before she would be ready for a relationship. I begrudgingly agreed with his logic. All I wanted was for Plato to be as happy as I was with Quaxo.

I glanced up at the sky as Jem began to give us an account of how the singing lessons with Admetus were going. She was betting that he would even have a solo at the next ball.

The sun was had gotten high overhead, indicating that it was close to noon. I sighed and turned back to the conversation, doing my best to pay attention and participate. Quaxo had been called on late night patrols more and more recently. It wasn't fair of Munk to ask Quaxo to do so night shifts. The poor tom. I had decided a while ago that I would let him sleep. I preferred to spend less time with an awake tom than more time with a one that wasn't paying full attention to me. Quality over quantity, right?

"Vik, Vik! Are you listening!"

I blinked a few times, realizing that someone had addressed me. "I-I'm sorry, what?" I asked turning back to the three cats staring at me. I honestly didn't even know who had spoken to me.

Jemima rolled her eyes dramatically, letting out a pretty little sigh as she gave me a sympathetic smile. "I was saying, wouldn't it be fun to have our own little dance, us younger cats?" I must have still looked confused because Jem produced another sigh and clarified, "You know, we only have a Jellicle Ball once a year, and we have to do all that choreography and sing the adults' songs. Well _we_ were just saying that Pounce, Tumble, Addie, Leccy, Quax, and the four of us should have our own little dance. We could probably invite Jerrie and Teazer too. Wouldn't that be fun? We could play the music we want to play, and sing what we want to sing!" By the end of her explanation, she had forgotten her momentary irritation with me and was looking at me with pure excitement in her eyes.

I had to say, it really did sound exciting and I nodded enthusiastically. A small ball that was geared towards us younger cats who were just out of kittenhood sounded perfect. It would also be a ball that I could attend with Quaxo. "We're allowed to take dates, right?"

Jem shook her head in mock disapproval as I heard Plato take a quick, nervous gulp and glance at Cetty. Cetty seemed to be the only one unaffected by my words. "Sure, it's not like we can stop you, and what ever makes you happy." Replied Jem. "But you _have _to dance with everyone! I made that rule just now." She added triumphantly with a nod.

Underneath her pleasant smile, I could tell Jem was still slightly annoyed with me. We had always been good friends. She was the daughter of Munkustrap and Demeter, only a few years younger than I was. After I had acclimated to life in the junkyard, Jelly had insisted that I spend time with a queen-kit my age instead of only hanging out with the boys next door. Though we were not as close as Plato and I, I still liked to think that Jem and I were best friends. However, Jem was not adapting to my social change of dating Quaxo as smoothly as Plato was. She wasn't mean, and I think she was genuinely happy for the two of us, but I don't think she liked that some other feline was taking me away from what had become the status quo.

I tried my best to understand Jem's side of the situation, but sometimes I really disliked the side comments that she threw my way, or the exasperated sighs and excessive eye rolls.

Cetty broke into a huge smile and began to shake with excitement. Clearly her quota for sitting still was at an end. "Well, we'll need a place to have the dance!" She whispered excitedly, as if we had to keep this dance a secret. "I'll go explore the yard and find a good spot!" She said, standing up with a serious look of determination on her face.

I nodded gravely, letting her know that that was an excellent idea. I then smiled as an inspiration came to mind. Cetty had turned to jump off the tire and I quickly called out to her, causing her to pause and turn to look at me. "You really shouldn't go around the yard alone, especially the lesser visited areas. Take Plato with you." I motioned nonchalantly towards the copper and white tom lying across from me.

Plato gave me a stunned look. I stared at him, warning with my eyes that he better not turn this opportunity down. He blinked twice and stood up, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah…yeah! That's a great idea Vik! Promise I won't get in the way Cetty!" He laughed as he jumped off the tire.

Cetty nodded enthusiastically, unaware of the secret conversation that had occurred between Plato and I. She bounded off the tire and darted across the clearing with Plato close behind. Already it looked like it had turned into a game of tag instead of an exploring expedition.

Jem stood and stretched, glancing around her. "I'll go find Addie. He is really good with picking out music and running that weird thing the adults call a boombox. Plus maybe we can write some songs that each of us can sing."

I nodded as she deftly jumped off the tire and walked towards Addie's den. I found myself feeling a bit sad as I watched her walk away. I hoped that we could quickly get back to the way things were. But it wasn't fair of me to just blame Jem because I was sure I had to grow as well. Maybe we both just needed this time apart. However, that didn't lessen the dull ache my heart felt as I watched a dear friend leave me behind.

I promptly decided that I had let Quaxo sleep enough, and I didn't want to be alone. I jumped down from the tire and trotted quickly over to the pipe. "Quaxo?" I called into his den, listening to my voice as it echoed down the pipe's length.

There was a brief silence and I was about to call for him again when my ears perked forward as they picked up the sound of something heavy being moved about the den. I took a single step into the pipe, calling a second time. "Q-Quaxo?" I was answered with the same sound, only this time it ended with a rather large slam. "Quaxo!" I shouted, running down the length of the pipe and into the den.

It was darker than I expected, and I stood perfectly still, waiting for my eyes to adjust. Once they had, I glanced around taking in my new surroundings. In all the weeks we had been together, I had never been in Quaxo's den and he had never been in mine. It was a step that we had just not taken yet. Quaxo's den was a lot larger than I had expected; he must have cleared out part of the junk pile he was under to make the space that I was in. I looked around and saw a large milk crate filled with books and strange objects that I could only guess were for practicing his magic. A large serving platter sat on top of a shoebox, making a quaint little table. I turned around to see a large pile of towels, blankets, and pillows in the corner with a small black figure resting on top. I cautiously walked towards the pile, suddenly realizing that had Quaxo been in danger, perhaps charging in was not the wisest choice. As I approached, I realized that the figure was breathing heavily, sides heaving. "Q-Quaxo? Are you okay?" I weakly begged. I reached out and gently placed my paw on his shoulder, giving it a quick shake.

I heard a dull moan as Quaxo rolled over on his side, blinking his eyes slowly. "Huh? Oh hey Vik." He said with a soft, dream-like smile.

I couldn't help but grin; he was so handsome when he smiled like that. I was also relieved that he was okay. "Hey there." I said as gently as I could, leaning over and nuzzling his cheek. I gasped and pulled back. Quaxo was dripping in sweat. "You're soaked! What happened, are you okay?" I began frantically looking him over and glancing around the room, hoping to find clues that would answer my question.

He quickly sat up and swept a paw across his brow. "Calm down. Don't worry Vik." He purred gently, placing his other paw on mine. "I just had a nightmare."

I stood up indignantly, hands on hips. "Where's the light in this place?" I demanded, looking around.

Quaxo gave a gentle laugh, and I whipped around to face him. He shook his head and stood up. "Magic." He said offhandedly with a wave of his paw. A soft light flickered on from a nearby lamp.

I looked at it in awe for a few moments. I'd never get used to the splendor in his magic; he could bring things to life with the wave of his paw, and everything became more beautiful.

I shook my head quickly and turned back to face Quaxo, running up to him and cupping his clammy cheek in my paw. I continued to look him over, scrutinizing every aspect of his face and body. I finally looked him straight into his eyes, making sure he wasn't lying to me. I held his gaze for a bit, analyzing every single emotion I saw. Eventually, all I saw was a dim amusement and something that almost resembled fear.

I sighed and released his face, nodding and finally accepting his story. He quietly reached around me and grabbed a small piece of cloth off of the table, wiping his face with it. "Thanks for worrying though." He purred, nuzzling my cheek.

I have a sheepish smile, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "I just heard this loud noise followed by a slam. I was w-worried." I said faintly.

Quaxo smiled warmly before turning around and searching the ground for something near the bed pile. He finally let out an ah-ha before bending over and picking up a rather large, old looking book. "This is probably what you heard." He mewed placing the volume gently onto a nearby cinderblock. "I must've kicked it while I was having my nightmare."

I looked at him suspiciously, but finally accepted his explanation. I didn't see what else there could be that would have made such a noise. I had then become suddenly angry. I began to shake slightly and I let my anger explode out of my petite body. "That's just not fair! You're probably having these nightmares because Munk's got you patrolling all night long, every night! Why do you have go on late night ones? And why are they so often?" I could feel the anger as it began to course through my body. I spun on my heel and began to walk purposefully out of the pipe; I was going to fix this right now. "I'm going to talk to Munk this instant!" I mumbled to myself.

Something suddenly grabbed my paw, spinning me around. I came face to face with a concerned Quaxo. "Really Vik, don't talk to Munk. It's not necessary and I don't mind. I mean I am new here… If that means working a few patrols at night to help the tribe, so be it. R-really. It's fine. I can spend more time with you if that's what you want. I'll wake up earlier…"

I snatched my paw away from his grasp, placing it firmly on my hip. "Thank you Quaxo, but that's not the point! It's not healthy for you to be doing this!"

Quaxo looked at me pleadingly, taking both my paws in his. "Please Vik, just let it go." He whispered quietly.

I tried to stare him down, but I was the one who was defeated. I gave a great sigh and then nodded. "Fine, but if this keeps up for much longer…"

Quaxo gave a great nod and broke into a smile. "Thanks." He then ran past me, keeping a firm grasp on one of my paws, pulling me out into the clearing. "Let's do something fun!" He called over his shoulder, continuing to drag me along as I tried desperately to keep pace.

After a few moments, I recognized the path we were taking and began to sprint, easily running next to my endearing tomfriend.

We reached my clearing within a matter of moments. Next to me Quaxo released a sigh. "It's as beautiful as I remember it."

I walked out to the middle of the clearing and turned to face him, holding out my paw, beckoning him to come to me. Quaxo graciously fulfilled my request and swiftly walked to meet me at the center, taking my paw in his.

We began to dance again. This time we began to perform a beautiful, almost sensual ballet; it was very similar to the mating dance I had performed with Plato earlier in the year. However, there was one major difference; the feelings behind this dance were the most honest forms of love that could be imagined. I let my feelings flow through my limbs as I did my best to make sure Quaxo could feel my love in every dance move.

Whenever I would take a pause and allow him to perform on his own, I felt his adoration pulse with my heart. Our dance came to an end as I finished in the splits, with Quaxo next to me, on one knee. Our faces were so close and our lips trembled as we tried to catch our breath from the exercise.

After a few tantalizing moments of stillness, I slowly leaned forward and began to close my eyes. I felt a soft touch on my lips as a strange warmth spread through my body. His lips pressed against mine as softly as a snow drifts down to meet the earth. I brought my legs out of the splits and under my body, never once breaking our connection for fear of losing what we had.

Quaxo gently cupped my face between his hands as he deepened the kiss. His lips became more passionately pressed against mine as he held my face close to his. There almost seemed to be some kind of desperation within his hands.

I gracefully wrapped my arms behind his head as I gently ran my paw up the back of his neck to entangle itself in his fur.

After a few moments of time where innocence and passion intertwined, Quaxo broke away from me with a sigh.

I gently fluttered my eyes open to meet the ochre orbs that gazed back at me. "Quaxo, I…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

He smiled as he keep one paw cupped around my face and ran the other through my headfur. "Victoria." After a moment, he swiftly pulled me against him, hugging me and burying his face in my shoulder.

Just as quickly as he had pulled me in, he pushed me away, holding me at arms length, paws securely placed on my shoulders. "I… Victoria… What if I…" He couldn't seem to form a complete sentence, his eyes filled with some haunting sadness.

I was overcome with confusion as I gently placed a paw on one of his and reached out, stroking his cheek with the tip of the other. "Wh-what is it Quaxo?" I whispered, almost scared to breathe. Something in his haunted eyes and shaking scared me.

He broke his gaze away from mine, staring at the ground. He let his paws fall to his side. "I can't keep it up anymore." He added bitterly.

I cocked my head, trying to understand. I was shaking my head now, and for some reason, tears were springing to my eyes. "What Quaxo? You can tell me." It was almost desperate plea.

With a final look at me, Quaxo turned and darted out of the clearing, running at a full sprint. I scrambled to get up, blinking through the tears. "Quaxo!" I called, trying my best to catch up to him. I ran into the clearing, wiping tears from my face as I desperately searched for any sign of the magical tom. I was met with many unblinking eyes staring at me with curiosity. I ignored them as I saw a white tipped tail disappear into Munkustrap's den.

I ran up to the den and dashed inside just as quickly. I didn't care who saw me, and I didn't care what the gossip was. All that mattered to me was Quaxo. As I rounded the corner into the common area of the den, I saw a desperate Quaxo, with his back to the entrance, panting as heavily as I was, standing in front of a shocked Munkustrap and Demeter. I just caught the tail end of his statement.

"-confession." He panted. He gathered himself up, looking directly at the pair. I could not see the look in his eyes; all I could see was the confused look on Munkustrap's face and the compassion found in Demeter's eyes.

I fell to my knees, tears streaking down my face. I was exhausted and confused. Had I done something? What was going on?

Quaxo took another deep breath before continuing, "I have been working for Macavity."

**A/N: I felt this was a good place to stop. Dun dun dun! **** I will try not to keep you too long in suspense and update soon.**


	7. Numbness

**Chapter 7: Numbness**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this update was so late and this chapter so long! It had been a busy week, and I couldn't really figure out a way to split this up. But thanks to EVERYONE for your reviews and support. It really means a lot to me. Hope you like this! Feel free to review, nothing is too trivial or silly. I am going to try and to stay frequent with my updates. Thanks for staying with me.**

A numbness flooded through me as my mind went blank. All I knew was that I wanted to turn and run, but my legs were disconnected from the rest of my body. I just sat on my knees, unable to do anything but watch horrified, silently allowing my tears to make their path down my face.

As soon as Quaxo said the Hidden Paw's name, Demeter flinched, looking down at her trembling paws. Munkustrap immediately stood up, spreading his arms in a defensive stance, as if ready to block everything from Demeter. Almost as terrifying as Quaxo's confession was the fury held in Munk's eyes.

Tense moments ticked by, as everyone held still, no one daring to move first. Finally, Quaxo began to fidget, clearly unsure of how to proceed. He then opened his mouth, feeling a need to explain, "Look, Mu-"

He was immediately cut off as Munk dived across the room, his paws quickly finding a firm grasp on the fur around Quaxo's neck. A low hiss emitted from deep within his chest as he bared his teeth. He raised Quaxo up to the tips of his back paws. "How dare you!" Munk whispered, in a quiet voice, his eyes never leaving Quaxo's. "I welcome you into this yard… and you are working for Mac- _for him_! Do you understand the danger you put us in? Does the friendship we showed you mean nothing?" He spat, tightening his hold and raising Quaxo up higher.

My legs had found their strength, but my mind still seemed to be disconnected from the rest of my body. The next thing I knew, I was running across the den, flinging myself on Munk. I quickly wrapped my arms around one of our protector's muscular arms, weakly giving it a pull towards the ground. I buried my face into his fur as tears streaked down my face. "Please…stop…" I mumbled through my tears.

I didn't know what was going on. I knew that if what Quaxo said was true, I should want nothing to do with him anymore, but I also knew that I was completely and utterly in love with the tom. I knew that I wanted to protect him from Macavity, Munkustrap, the other Jellicles, from anything threatening him. I knew that when he smiled at me, I felt butterflies every time. I knew that his very presence constantly filled my mind. I didn't understand a lot, but I understood that while he was supposed to be dangerous, I had given him my heart.

I kept my face buried in Munk's arm, scared to look up at the other two adult cats, and _terrified_ to meet Quaxo's eyes. However, I felt Munk's muscles relax as his arms seemed to lower the magical tom, though not relaxing enough to indicate that he had released him. "Victoria…" I heard Munk breath my name with something that resembled pity.

I tried my best to stifle my tears as I buried my face further into his fur. I couldn't raise my face up to anyone. What was I doing? I was trying to protect this 'traitor'. I couldn't look at Quaxo, afraid to see in his eyes that everything we had shared was a lie. But I couldn't look at Munk or Demeter either; I didn't want to see the pity that they must have for me, or even worse, a look of accusation as if they thought that I was helping Quaxo.

"Victoria, dear." Came a motherly voice as gentle paws rested on my shoulders. I flinched, giving Munk's arm a quick squeeze. "Honey? You need to let got." The paws squeezed my shoulders for emphasis.

I knew it was Demeter. If anyone understood what I was going through, it had to be her, right? She had loved and been hurt. She had believed like I did now. She wouldn't see me as a traitor. She was my ally, right?

A small voice in the back of my mind sneered, '_Look what good that belief did her.'_

Still fearing to look at the faces around me, I let go of Munk and spun around, once again burying my face in the fur of Demeter's shoulder.

I felt her gentle, loving arms enclose me in a reassuring embrace.

I began to get my tears under control, and continued to sniff as the numbness began to set in again.

After a tense moment, I heard Munkustrap begin to speak. This time his voice was much more calm, but no less dangerous. "Do you see just a small portion of what you've done? Our lives aren't games." Munk's voice began to rise, causing me to flinch, "How could you-"

"Munkustrap!" Demeter interrupted, hugging me tightly to her chest. Her voice was calm and soothing. "I believe he understands the gravity of his actions. What I want to know is what exactly he has done for _Macavity_ and why he is even telling us."

As I stood pressed against Demeter, I couldn't help but admire her strength. Even though she spoke so strongly and with such eloquence, I could feel her trembling against my body. Even when she spat the word 'Macavity', she din't betray her instinctual flinch.

Her strength gave me strength. I timidly turned my head, peeking across the room to see the current situation. Munk held one paw at his side, though it was still tense and clenched in a fist, ready for any trouble. His other paw continued to hold Quaxo's neck fur, though he no longer held him in the air. Munk was looking at us, while Quaxo stared at the floor.

The silver tabby's eyes met mine, and they changed. I wasn't sure what he saw in my eyes, but in his, I no longer saw fury but a deep sadness and what looked like unfathomable pain. He turned back to face Quaxo, slowly releasing the tuxedo tom, though remaining tense should the tom try anything deemed unacceptable.

Quaxo stayed planted to the floor, wringing his paws as he stared at them. He gave a small sniff as he began to blink what I could only assume were tears out of his eyes.

I tightened my grip on Demeter's fur. Something inside of me stilled screamed at me, telling me to run to _my_ tom and hold him in arms, telling me to wipe all his tears away.

"Well?" Munk's voice was authoritative, demanding a response. "Why _are_ you telling us?"

Quaxo opened his mouth, trying to respond. His voice cracked and he seemed to choke on his words. He gave a weak cough and then tried again. "W-well. I-I don't want to anymore! I w-was sent to spy on you all, but…" He looked up, eyes staring into Munk's nervously. He then turned towards Demeter and I. He briefly glanced at Demeter and the turned his eyes to me.

His ochre eyes caught mine and I couldn't look away. But, at that moment, I didn't want to. In those eyes, I saw more love than I had ever seen or even felt before. The honesty in found in their depths was only made clearer by the glistening tears that he quickly tried to blink away.

He continued in a rush of words, never breaking his gaze, "I did something I wasn't supposed to do. I got comfortable here. I made friends. B-but most importantly, I found someone." The desperation in his eyes almost broke my heart. His voice got quiet and became a whisper that we had to strain to hear. "I fell in love."

After he finished, a silence pervaded the room, as he continued to stare at me, begging me to believe him. I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Finally, the numbness left my body and the urge to embrace Quaxo overtook me. I tore myself away from Demeter and dashed across the den, wrapping my arms around Quaxo's neck. I quickly nuzzled his cheek, doing anything I could think of to comfort him. I closed my eyes as I hugged him tight to my body, hoping he could understand what I was trying to tell him, for I knew my voice would betray the fear and doubt I had felt only a few moments ago.

_I loved him_.

The moment I had made contact with him, I felt Quaxo's entire body stiffen. However, after a moment, I felt his shoulders relax as he tenderly placed his arms around me, giving me a soft embrace in return.

He slowly pulled his head back, placing one paw under my chin, lifting my face up to his. "Victoria." He whispered. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to see any sadness in his copper eyes. I wanted to move on. I wanted to pretend this never happened. "Vik, please?" He whispered again.

I slowly opened my eyes, allowing myself to be lost in the depths of his. All I could see was love and concern. "I really am sorry. You understand, right Vik? Can you still love me? I-I worked for Macvi-"

I quickly pressed my paw to his lip. Silencing him. He didn't need to let that name haunt him anymore. He was at home. He was where he belonged: with his friends. Most importantly, he was with me.

I gave him a weak smile, as tears began to run down my face. "You're home." was all I managed to choke out before my words became caught in my throat. I leaned forward and gave him an innocent kiss. Actions always spoke louder than words. I felt him smile against my kiss and return the action.

As quickly as I had kissed him, Quaxo pulled away. He kept his arms around me, holding me close, but looked up to the cats I had left behind. Just because I had forgiven him didn't mean he was officially forgiven.

I turned in his arms, standing in front of Munk and Demeter as I should have been: at Quaxo's side. His arms held me tight around the waist, and I kept his paws in my mine.

Munk glanced from Quaxo to me then back to Quaxo. Demeter had walked to Munk's side and held his paw in her own, leaning her head on his shoulder. The two felines glanced at each other before turning back to us.

"I have one last question." Munk said sternly, keeping Quaxo under a careful watch. "What exactly did you do for Macavity?"

There was another silence as I felt Quaxo tense under the pressure. I gave his paw a reassuring squeeze. I wanted him to remember he wasn't alone. I knew that he regretted whatever it was he had done and I would stand by him no matter what.

"Well, I was sent to spy on the junkyard. I would meet with him every so often to exchange information." He paused to swallow and had started to shake. His voice was soft, barely more audible than a whisper. "I-I told him where all the dens were and your numbers. Th-then I told him who was most likely to be able to fight and each cat's weaknesses… That's a-all." He swallowed a second time as if preparing for his punishment.

Munkustrap gave a grave nod and then turned to Demeter. She continued to eye us as he leaned over and whispered something in her ear. After giving a quick nod, she began to head out of the den. As she approached me, she gave me a sweet smile and a quick pat on the shoulder. She then continued out the den and into the clearing.

Munk stood tall in front of us, staring intently. I matched his gaze, trying my best to convey that we could trust Quaxo. He finally let out a sigh, and softened his gaze. He let a feint smile grace his features as he held his paw over his eyes, as if he had a headache. "So here's the deal." Munk was all business, but I had seen the concern in his eyes. He really did care. "Vik and Demeter seem to trust you. And frankly, I want to too. You were so low under our radar, I can think of no reason why you'd tell us what you were doing unless you really didn't want to work anymore. However, know that we don't take this kind of activity lightly!" Munk became stern, letting his smile fade. "We will let you remain in the Junkyard. You will be under constant supervision, which you can't avoid. You'll also have a curfew. You must report to me and return to your den when the sun sets. Finally, you are to perform _no _magic. Do you understand? Especially in your den. I will have Tanto and Cori set up a barrier in it. Do you understand and agree to these terms?"

Quaxo gave an eager nod. "I do! Gladly!" He said, hugging my waist. I turned my head to smile at him. We could go back to the way things were. Well at least on the path to it.

However, Quaxo's face dropped, his smile fading. I felt my face reflect his. I was not sure I could handle any more bad news.

"There's something I would like to add sir." He said, looking at Munk gravely.

Munk raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

"Well, sir, I did know of some of Macavity's plans. Sir."

With that, Munkustrap straightened up. He nodded, silently telling Quaxo to continue.

"Well, um. I know he was planning on attacking, again. The attack at the ball was only to cement my position in the tribe. After gaining the information he wanted, he was planning on striking again in about a month's time."

Munk looked serious, but not surprised. He gave a curt nod. "I understand. Macavity did seem to give up a bit easy at the ball… So this is what we'll do. I want you to do for us what you did for that terror. I want to know everything you know about his organization."

Quaxo gave a quick nod. He seemed happy to help. I squeezed his paw again. I was happy that Munk was trusting Quaxo a bit, even if he really didn't have too much of a choice.

Just then, Demeter reentered the den with Alonzo and Jelly right behind her. The two cats looked warily at Quaxo and I. Alonzo looked untrusting while Jelly looked downright terrified. She ran over to us and quickly grabbed my paws, pulling me towards her. Quaxo let her take me into a motherly embrace. Though I hated how easily he let me go, I knew that it was the right thing to do. Jelly was only worried for me.

"Come on, Viki darling." She purred, pulling me towards the door. I squirmed in her arms as she was walking with her arms securely around my shoulders. I looked behind me to catch a fleeting glimpse of Quaxo as Alonzo sat down, never taking his eyes off of small tom.

Jelly and I emerged from the den, and I squinted in the sunlight. I felt a headache beginning to manifest in the back of my skull. I stopped looking around and just let Jelly guide me where she wanted me to go. I felt the numbness begin to sit back in. Every nerve in my body was screaming to run back to Quaxo's side. I felt like I needed him just as much as a bird needs wings; he helped me to fly, to be who I really was.

She gently sat me down on the TSE car, nuzzling my cheek. She gave me a sad look. "Viki, my dear, I am just worried. I mean, Demeter told me and…"

I summoned the best smile I could, though I knew it wasn't too convincing.

She seemed to get the hint, and turned to leave. "I love you." She said sadly over her shoulder.

I sat there and watched her leave. I couldn't bring myself to say that to any one else besides Quaxo. At least not yet. I scanned the clearing. More and more adults began to filter towards Munk's den. I knew they would probably be discussing some kind of strategy. How much would he tell them? Would they accept Quaxo? Could they forgive him? They had to, right? Munk was forgiving, they would all understand.

My ears swiveled forward, picking up the fervent gossip of the younger cats further in the clearing. I could hear them wondering what had happened. Some thought Quaxo and I got in a fight and that he was in trouble. Some thought he must have tried a magic trick that had gotten out of control. There was even the idea that they were telling him the secrets of the Jellicles, finally accepting him into the tribe. No matter what they conjectured about Quaxo, they all wondered why I was not sitting with them. Finally, Jem stated that she would come over and ask me what I knew.

My mind began reeling. I didn't know what to do. What should I tell her? I don't want everyone to know what Quaxo used to do. That was no longer who he was, and kittens were always hard to win back. His friends were so important to him. I couldn't tell them. It wasn't my place. I clenched my paws, trying to figure something out.

As I considered turning and running, I felt a gentle paw rest on my shoulder. I looked up to see Asparagus smiling down at me. He quickly sat down, taking my paw in his.

I then turned to see Jelly intercept the incoming Jem and quickly redirect the curious kitten. A cheerful smile came to her face. I could tell she was faking it, but I am sure Jem didn't. Jelly took Jem to the kittens, asking for a little song in dance. She told them the yard was too solemn and she could use some joy. Everyone happily complied.

Asparagus watched as his mate entertained the younger cats, happily clapping along with their joyous song. He looked back at me and smiled again. He seemed truly happy and it was infectious. I smiled as well, this time sincerely. I didn't want him to say anything, and he didn't feel any need to we were content to sit in silence.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, blinking away more tears. He immediately draped his paw around my shoulders, giving a feint purr.

I blankly stared at the snow-covered ground. I tried my best to see each individual snowflake. I knew it was impossible, but at least it was something to do. I settled with watching my shadow. I examined how each hair could be seen waving in the breeze. I was glad that my shadow didn't actually mirror my face, I was sure that I looked horrible.

Hours passed, and I could tell it was getting late in the day as my shadow was getting longer and longer, getting closer to Munk's den. It was as if it was telling me to go to Quaxo, to be with him. I might have his heart, but he had mine. I needed to be with him.

I felt the shoulder under my head shrug as the soothing purring stopped. Asparagus finally spoke to me for the first time all day, "Come on Vik, I think it's time to turn in. Who knows how long they will be talking. You really need rest."

I continued to stare at my shadow as its ears began to touch the bottom of the den's entrance. I shook my head. "No. Please. Let me stay up. I want to see him when he comes out." I mumbled, stifling a yawn.

I am sure that Asparagus could tell I was slipping into the realm of sleep, but he said nothing. I was grateful. I _had_ to see Quaxo. I wanted to be the first person he saw when he left that den. I wanted him to know that I was here, waiting for him.

A few more hours had passed. My shadow had faded, but was not left. The half-moon had taken the suns place, allowing my shadow to remain, keeping my vigil alive. I wasn't sure I would have been able to handle the wait if my shadow had left me. I felt my eyelids getting heavier. I willed myself to stay awake.

"Vik, you can be the first to see him tomorrow." Asparagus whispered.

I yawned again, feeling my will power slipping out of my grasp. I couldn't go to sleep, not yet. "Please Papa…" I used the term for him I hadn't used in years, since I was a kitten. "Just a little longer…" my speech was becoming slurred as I felt my eyelids begin to close.


	8. My Promise

**Chapter 8: My Promise**

**A/N: Sorry this took so long again. I had some trouble cranking this chapter out. Hope it is okay. Well, I don't have too much to say but to thank you all for your reviews and for following me. Please let me know how I am doing! Review! :P **

**As usual, I don't own cats and I don't know how to make that creative.**

My eyes fluttered opened, though they hadn't quite mastered focusing through the fog of sleep as quickly. I squinted, trying to concentrate on the blurry objects around me. Finally, I decided to just stare straight above me as I let my eyes take their natural course for waking up. I smiled as I saw my little light fairies tremble on my ceiling as a soft breeze brushed the mirror ball.

My eyes shot open as I recognized where I was. I was in my den. This wasn't where I wanted to be! I wanted to be with Quaxo. I should be in the clearing, waiting for his handsome, kind face to emerge from Munk's den.

I quickly swung my feet off the bed and attempted to stand. However, my body had not had the appropriate amount of time to awaken and was not as fully functioning as my mind. My legs immediately gave out sending me towards the ground.

For that moment, I praised the Everlasting Cat that I was in my den because at least I knew where everything was. I instinctively sent out my paws to where my little vanity was. I felt the cinderblock meet my flailing limbs and I braced myself. I found the support just in time to keep me from hitting the ground.

This time, I paused for a moment, making sure that my legs were securely under my body. I then turned, pushing off the block, and ran for the door.

Something again got in my way, as strong arms caught me, holding me inside the den. My breath caught in my throat as a glimmer of hope entered my head. There was only one cat I wanted to see…but him being here would be against the terms…it couldn't be, could it?

I realized at this time, that the blur that was clouding my vision was no longer sleep, but tears that had begun to sting my eyes. I fervently blinked away the unwanted droplets and slowly turned my head towards the figure that held me.

I released my captive breath with a ragged sigh. My hopes fell as I saw the gentle face of Asparagus gazing back.

It hit me then. He was the reason I was here! _He _was the reason I had not gotten to see Quaxo. He must have brought me back as soon as I had fallen asleep. He was not my friend. What he did made him my enemy.

I shoved Asparagus as hard as I could, squirming to let him release me. "Let me go!" I shouted, trying everything to tear myself away from my captor.

"Vik…" He said back, trying his best to be soothing. His arms never released me from his grip; he was much stronger than his appearance led me to believe.

"I said let go! You-you brought me here!" My shouts had turned into sobs. I continued to try and push Asparagus away, but my attempts became weak. My shoves turned into more of something to do, keeping me from falling apart.

Asparagus pulled me close to him, hugging me tightly. I stopped my squirming all together, and just sat there, anger and sadness radiating through my body, causing me to quiver. "Victoria." The voice was stern, commanding my attention. "Calm down. Now, I must tell you, your reaction towards me is rather hurtful. Especially after how sweet you were last night." He sounded sad then as if I had really hurt him.

I shook my head as that traitorous thought flitted across my mind. He brought me here last night. I had been sweet only because I thought he understood me like none of the other tribe's members did. I had believed that he had realized how important waiting had been for me. My one wish for last night was to see Quaxo, to feel his reassuring embrace. All Asparagus had been waiting for was a moment of weakness to take me away. He didn't want me with Quaxo. That was the only explanation.

Renewed energy coursed through my body as I realized that I was allowing him to trick me again. I gave the hardest shove I could muster, turning my head away so I wouldn't have to see his face. I felt his grip on me break and I turned to run. But I hadn't been completely freed. Asparagus had immediately taken hold of my paws, keeping an iron grip. I squeezed my eyes shut, futilely trying to yank my paws away. "Let go! Why? I told you all I wanted was to see him! You took me away! I-I thought you understood! _You took me away!_" I screamed, my voice shrill. I didn't care if I was being unfair or rude. All that filled my mind was what must have been Quaxo's face when he left Munk's den to be greeted by no one. My heart broke with his.

Suddenly, the grip on my wrists tightened, and I felt Asparagus give me a quick shake. "That is enough, Victoria." He asserted. It was a command made in the fatherly voice I hadn't heard in years.

My eyes opened immediately and I stopped my struggling. I slowly turned my head towards Asparagus, but kept my gaze on the ground. Asparagus was a cat of few words, and I knew that when he used that voice, it was best to listen.

"Do I have your attention now?"

I gave a subtle nod, keeping my eyes down at our paws.

"Good. Now I'm sorry I raised my voice, but I know that you didn't hear a thing I said."

He was right. I didn't even know he had been talking.

His voice suddenly became soft and allowed his grasp to loosen. "I am sorry that you feel that way. But you've hurt my feelings too…"

My eyes grew wide with surprise. What had I done? He should only be apologizing to me, not asking for one in return! I lifted my gaze to meet his. I saw an intense sadness held within his eyes, which immediately made me swallow the retort I was about throw at him.

Asparagus released one of my paws and gently reached out to me. He gently scratched behind my ear, much like he used to when I was a crying kitten. "Vik dear, I did not move you. I _did_ understand. I know it may be hard to believe, but I understand the feeling waiting impatiently for the one you love. Jelly is Skimble's sister after all, she used work on the train as well…" His eyes became distant as he recalled the past. I could only assume he was thinking of the many nights he had waited for Jelly. I saw Jenny with the same face on a weekly basis as she waited for Skimble to return from work.

"So please, don't say such hurtful things."

I was overcome with guilt. I gave a soft, short purr, for I knew my voice would be trembling and opening my mouth would only invite the tears to flow.

Asparagus gave me a tender smile, giving my ear another scratch before continuing. "I stayed with you until late in the night. I feared that Munk might have decided to make Quaxo sleep in his den because I had saw all the other cats leave. As I was trying to decide what to do with you, Munk and Quaxo emerged. They saw us sitting on the car and came over." His smile broadened as he recalled the night. "Quaxo looked so relieved and happy, he must really love you. And I mean it! I have seen my share of loves and couples, and this one's special. Don't forget it dear.

"Anyways, as I said, he came over to make sure you were okay. I think he was worried that you had stayed up so late worrying. Quaxo asked Munk if he could say goodnight. Munk agreed and Quaxo brought you here, tucked you in, and asked me to watch you through the night."

Asparagus seemed to have finished, and released my other paw while withdrawing the one that had been stroking my headfur. He gave another fatherly smile, though his eyes still held an unfathomable sadness.

I stayed where I was, unable to move. I had been so unfair. Asparagus had stayed with me, guarding me. In fact, he probably didn't get any sleep at all; he must have been so worried. The first thing I did to repay his kindness was to insult and abuse him.

Did I even deserve Quaxo's or his love?

I was a selfish being. Yesterday, when I had heard what Quaxo had done, I just wanted to forgive and forget. I didn't care about what he had gone or was going through. I didn't even care about how he had gotten into league with Macavity. It was the same as before his confession. I hadn't cared about his past. My top priority had always been me. I wanted him to love me just as I loved him. I wanted him to always be by my side. He had done everything in his power to comfort me when I was sad and he tried to understand my life. What had I given him? Nothing, I only took.

I clenched my paws tight, feeling my claws prick at the pads of my paws. I didn't want to live like that anymore. I didn't want to just take; I wanted to give him something that only I could give. I promised myself in that moment that I would love Quaxo like he deserved.

My thoughts were disturbed as I felt Asparagus rest a paw on my shoulder, he placed his other paw under my chin and raised my face to his. "What are you still doing here you silly kit? Quaxo told me he wouldn't leave his den until you woke. He wanted you to be the first cat he saw today."

My eyes widened as I broke into a smile. He was waiting for me!

As I was about to leave, I turned back to face Asparagus. Was there any way I could make up for my actions? I threw my arms around his neck and gave him the strongest hug I could muster. I prayed that he felt my fears and apologies. "I'm _so sorry_!" I mumbled into his neck. I pulled back and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. This time when I looked into his eyes, I no longer saw his sadness, but a kind of happiness and pride.

He gave me a final smile and gently pushed me towards the door.

I tore through the opening to my den and sprinted towards the clearing. My mind filled with only one thought, I had to see Quaxo.

I quickly jumped over various cats sunning themselves in the clearing and came to a sudden halt at the pipe's entrance. I was suddenly nervous. I knew he was waiting for me, but what if he wasn't awake? He had been through a much longer night than I had. Should I just go in? Should I wake him if he was asleep? I could just wait for him to come out. But what if he was waiting for me inside?

I felt like I had stood there for an eternity before I heard a dark chuckle behind me. "Well Vik, you look downright silly just standing there, staring into that pipe."

I turned to find Alonzo looking down at me. He had his ever-present smile painted onto his face, by his eyes didn't match. He looked suspicious and almost distant. It was a frightening look. I knew that Alonzo didn't take well to traitors, he had always been one of the first to go after Grizabella, but I didn't expect it to extend to me. I tried my best to give him a comforting smile and a laugh. "Probably… Asparagus just told me Quaxo was waiting for me and I didn't know if I should go in or not. Plus I don't even know if I am allowed or what…"

There was a pause that lasted for bit. I tried my best to maintain my cheerfulness, as Alonzo seemed to size me up. Finally, his eyes softened and he reached out, giving my head a quick pat as he always did. "Go on ahead in kit. I am sure he would be thrilled to see you."

I never thought I would be happy to hear him call me kit, but I didn't think he could have called me anything else that would have made me happier. My smile broadened as I spun around walked into Quaxo's pipe.

I walked as slowly as possible, trying my best not to make a sound. If Quaxo was asleep, I could wait until he woke. He needed sleep more than I needed him awake. I approached the end of the pipe, where it opened up into the main area of the den. I quieted my step and pushed myself against the pipe wall. What had gotten me so nervous? I realized that I was worried that yesterday might have changed him. What if the real Quaxo was entirely different from the disguised Quaxo I had fallen in love with?

The area of the den that I could see from my position was empty. However, a feint glow was emitted from the area of the den that the remained hidden by the pipe. I slowly leaned forward, peeking around the pipe wall.

Sitting next to the small lamp was a tired looked Quaxo, bent over a dusty volume of some kind or other. His brow was furrowed in concentration as his paw traveled across the page, keeping track of his progress.

I swallowed quietly, trying to muster up my strength. I knew that the 'real' Quaxo loved me and that was the reason he had confessed to his mission in the first place. If that was true, surely everything that really mattered between us was true as well. I tried my best to convince myself, but my body still hesitated.

A soft laugh came from the tuxedo tom as he looked up towards me, "Good morning Vik. Did you sleep well?"

His charming smiled welcomed me into his den, as he stood, opening his arms. With that one smile, all hesitation flew from my body and I ran into his waiting embrace. "Yes. Thank you!" I purred, nuzzling him.

He sat back down on his cinderblock, and scooted over, inviting me to sit next to him.

I happily obliged, keeping my paw intertwined with his. I rested my head on his shoulder and produced a continuous purr. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I really wanted to greet you when you came out of Munk's den." I gave a slight pout.

He laughed and kissed my head. "There's nothing to apologize for, silly. Just seeing you there, with the intention of waiting made everything better."

I nodded, though not believing that the two scenarios were really the same thing. "So everything's okay?"

"More than okay. I think I got off rather lightly, but I'm not going to argue. Plus I am still allowed to be with you…" I could feel his purr resonating through his chest.

I smiled, content to just sit there, basking in his presence. Just as I closed my eyes, my promise to myself flashed through my mind. What was I doing? I promised that I would give more than I take. I didn't just want to love Quaxo, I wanted to understand him, to alleviate any of his pains and amplify his joys. I wanted my love to be a necessity for him like his was for me.

I sat up with new determination. I turned to face Quaxo, my eyes meeting his and I rested my free paw on Quaxo's white patch of fur on his chest. "Quaxo?" It was as if as I was asking for permission to speak as well as trying to gather my courage.

Quaxo gave me a small smirk and nodded an encouragement to continue.

"Y-yesterday happened so fast. And I've been wondering…how did a sweet tom like you end up working for Macavity?" I looked away from his face, afraid that I would offend him, and concentrated on running my paw through his fur.

There was a long silence that I was afraid to break. If he was offended, the last thing he would want is for me to speak more. I had finally decided that I should apologize and was just looking for the words to say when Quaxo spoke. "Well. It's nothing spectacular… When I was young I created a lot of havoc for my family. Magic is a very temperamental power. For those who don't know how to control it, it can be very dangerous because without the proper mental willpower, it will react to strong emotions. Of course, as a kitten, I didn't have any kind of control, and was consumed by selfish passions…"

He sighed, allowing his sentence to trail into the air. I remained silent, afraid to disrupt his storytelling. I continued to entangle my paw in his white bib in a methodical manner; it was almost soothing.

"Anyways, that means that we found out pretty quickly that I had special powers. We didn't know where to go, but mom knew we had to find _someone. _So we left our home behind, searching for someone who could teach me.

"After a few days of following rumors and whispers, we came upon a large, abandoned building. _He _was in there." Quaxo spat the last phrase has his body tensed.

I nuzzled his shoulder with a soft purr, asking him to continue.

"When he saw me, he immediately took us in. He took me away from my mother and began to raise me on his own. He let my mother visit me every once in a while, but he usually sent her out on missions saying it was the only way she could repay him for his hospitality."

I tensed immediately; I knew what it was like to have a mother gone all the time working for the crime lord. I wanted to tell him that I sympathized with him, but Quaxo seemed to take no notice of my stress and continued. "However, one day one of his spy queens ran away. He was furious and lashed out at all his queens. He said they were never to be trusted. Shortly after, he sent my mother out on a mission and she never returned…"

I clenched my paws. I could no longer tell him the story of my mother. What if that queen was her? Would he hate me? I didn't want that. I wasn't my mother so it didn't matter my relation to her, right? I swallowed, I felt a guilt burning in the back of my chest, but I quickly stifled it. Maybe it was best that he never knew.

"After that, Macavity took full care of me. He attended to my every need and taught me everything I needed to know about my magic. I ended up thinking of him as a kind of father. He told me all these stories about how horrible and ruthless the Jellicles were. My job was to infiltrate and help destroy them. All I wanted to do was help Macavity; to repay the kindnesses he had shown me.

"So on a rainy day, I left the organization and walked to Bustopher's house. He took pity on me and brought me here. So here I spied. I learned everything that I was required to. I met with Macavity to tell him everything. But I became friends with everyone. The Jellicles taught me a lot." Quaxo turned to me, petting my head fur. I looked up to meet his eyes; I liked this part of the story. "I learned that I had been lied to. Macavity was the one to blame. I figured out he had been using me. Most importantly, I met you. I couldn't bear to do anything that hurt you."

Our eyes remained locked for a few moments before he leaned forward, kissing me. I could feel the passion in his touch as I reciprocated it. I felt our love deepen. We were no longer just lovers, but we shared a deeper connection. We learned about each other and understood.

After a few moments of blissful passion, he pulled back with a smile. "Wait right here." He purred as he stood up. He walked over to his milk crate full of books. It was a rather large box, and with him being such a small tom, he had to stand on his tippaws to reach the bottom inside.

I suppressed a laugh. It was so funny to watch him rummage through the books and other objects kept within the box. He grunted with the effort as a few books spilled over the edge.

I finally heard a grunt of triumph as he pulled his upper-body out of the box. Clasped within his paw was a beautiful pink ribbon with small jewels along its length. He turned to me beaming.

I gasped in shock. That wasn't for me. It couldn't be.

He sauntered over to me, the gift in his hands seeming to make him more confident. He knelt in front of me, holding the collar up to me like an offering.

"I wanted to thank you for everything; for teaching me, loving me, and most importantly: forgiving me." He purred, never letting his eyes waver from mine. He suddenly became shy, "I mean, if you'll accept this. I know how much you love your ribbons. Especially the blue one, I hope this one will only be half as special as that one… I know this is just a ribbon with some gems I found in the yard… Most importantly, I was hoping you wouldn't mind still going with me to that younger cats' dance we planned with everyone…"

I let out a laugh and fell to my knees, wrapping my arms around Quaxo, embracing him. My smile was so broad that my cheeks began to hurt, but I couldn't have cared less. "Of course!" I said during one of the breaks my laughing fit had allowed me. "And I can't thank you enough! The only reason I loved that blue ribbon so much is because of _you! _This one is even more special because you found it and made it thinking of me!" I gave another squeeze.

Quaxo snaked himself out of my embrace and walked behind me. He quickly tied the ribbon around my neck and spun me around to admire his work. I blushed under his scrutiny and he laughed. He pulled me towards him catching me in an embrace and chaste kiss.

I pulled away, much against my wishes. I laughed as he looked at me questioningly. "We have to get ready for the dance!" I purred, smiling coyly. "It is tonight you know…"

He broke into a smile and cupped my cheek in his paw. He pulled me in for another kiss, but again I pushed him away. I wanted tonight to be amazing. I wanted him to forget everything that burdened him, like yesterday never happened. But I wanted those thoughts for him, to make him happy. No longer did I harbor those thoughts for my own happiness. I was going to keep my promise.

"I am going to go and get ready! It's already the afternoon! You should do the same." I patted down a stray piece of fur in his headfur. I laughed as it immediately sprang back out of place when my paw retracted. I gave him a sudden peck on his cheek and turned to leave the den. "I want this to be the night of your dreams." I called over my shoulder.

As I ran out of the pipe, I grinned as I felt the sun warm my fur. It was like it was an entirely new day. This wasn't the same day that had started out so horribly. I just couldn't be. The sky was so blue, the sun was so warm, the breeze so soft. Everything was perfect, setting the stage for a perfect evening. I ran towards my den barely unable to contain my joy.


	9. Goodbye

**Chapter 9: Goodbye**

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Really busy week. Up until next Monday is pretty busy, but I am going to try my best to update. Thanks so much for reading and please review! Most importantly though, THANK YOU FOR READING. And I still don't own Cats. **

I ran as quickly to my den as my legs would carry me. It was as if my paws had wings. The smile on my face could not be suppressed as I made small skipping steps every so often. My whole body was bursting with energy and happiness. The best part was the weight I could feel around my neck, the constant reminder that my heart belonged to Quaxo.

After making sure that I didn't crash into the wall of the wardrobe, I jumped inside my den and happily dropped myself on top of my cinderblock in front of my mirror. I excitedly tried to groom my headfur, but couldn't keep myself still. I immediately stood up and walked over to my bed, patting the blankets. There was really no reason for these actions; I just had to keep moving. My joy was uncontainable.

I quickly turned to stride back to my little vanity, batting my mirror ball as I went. I smiled as I gazed into the mirror, watching my little fairies dance around me. Just then, a different sparkle caught my eye. As the light poured into my den from various slits in the wood, every once in a while, one of those beams would catch the jewels that now rested around my neck.

I gently rested my paw on the collar, still in disbelief that such a beautiful trinket was mine.

There was a sudden knock on the wall of my den causing me to jump out of my little daydream. I quickly smoothed my fur, which had been standing on end, and called out, "Come in."

I watched through my mirror to see who my guest was. A copper and white mottled tom slunk through the hole in the wall before standing up to his full height with his ears almost brushing the ceiling. Plato gave a gentle smile as he casually strolled over to my bed and plopped down. He had visited me enough and we were good enough friends that he was completely comfortable with the intimacy of this situation.

He sat on my bed playfully batting my mirror ball as I turned my attention back to my reflection, making sure that every hair was in place. It was a silly feeling, but I loved every moment of that silence. After spending so much time apart recently, it felt as if we had slipped back into our old habits. We used to spend so much time together that we hadn't needed to talk all the time. We had reached that point where the silence was just as comfortable and understanding as when we shared our most personal secrets.

After a few moments of basking in our old ways, Plato turned to focus on me through the mirror and stared intently. I turned around to face him, "Yes?" I giggled.

Plato shook his head as if dismissing a thought. "Well, I had come for a reason…" he trailed off, as if unsure on how to proceed.

I couldn't imagine what thought he had that as so serious on such a joyful day. Suddenly, I realized. "You asked Cetty, didn't you?" I laughed, clapping my hands in excitement.

He gave me a sheepish smile and looked away, "No…" Even with the negative answer, he didn't seem too upset. He mostly seemed shy and turned back to face me. "But it's okay. Jem made that rule about having to dance with everyone… I might make some kinda move then…" I giggled as I say his eyes glisten with mischief.

Plato's face suddenly became serious, as he stared at me intently. "I _had_ come to make sure you were okay. I…well…um…It's just…"

I cocked my head, as he seemed to search for his lost words. I really had no idea what he was talking about. What could possibly make him think that I wasn't okay? In fact, today was probably one of the best days of my life. I seemed to instinctually reach up and place my paw on the collar around my neck.

Plato didn't notice my unconscious action as he was staring down at the corner of one of my pillows as he continued to play with it nervously. "I saw you yesterday." He blurted out. "You-you were crying and chasing Quaxo." His fur bristled as he said the other cat's name. "After that, Jelly wouldn't let any of us near you." The concerned tom stood up and walked over to me. I stared up at him, eyes wide in shock as well as embarrassment as I folded my paws on my lap. He towered above me, looking down with a concerned, almost fatherly look. His head became level with mine as he knelt before me, placing his paws on mine. "I was worried."

His words were so genuine and he looked so anxious that I felt tears prick my eyes. How did I manage to earn such a kind, caring friend? Even after weeks of slowly pushing him to the margins of my life, he still came running when I needed him. I maintained an immovable spot in his heart, just like he did in mine. We would forever be a part of each other's lives; I had to make sure he knew that.

I smiled through my misty eyes and grasped his paws, giving them a squeeze. "Plato." I heard my voice tremble with my tears, but he had to know that they were tears of happiness. I was just overwhelmed with how much he cared for me. "Thanks for checking up on me. But I'm fine. More than fine, I'm great. Yesterday was just…" I hesitated. How much of yesterday's events should I reveal? I eyed Plato, trying to evaluate the situation. I knew that Plato was so protective, that I didn't think he would be able to forgive Quaxo so easily. Family and friends were an important part of Plato's lives, and their safety surpassed forgiving a stranger no matter what.

"Yesterday was just a misunderstanding. And so, I was upset. But Quaxo and I talked it out today. Everything is great! We'll be at the ball together!" I beamed, trying my best to convince him that everything was fine.

Plato stared me down for a few more moments, trying his best to decipher the truth from the lie in my statement. I could tell he knew that I was hiding something, but he eventually nodded and softened his expression. "If you say so." He purred as he gave my paws a gentle squeeze in return. "But if anything happens again, you come get me. I'll talk some sense into that tom." He smiled even though he was trying his best to look tough and intimidating.

I giggled, playfully batting his ear.

His face changed as he made an expression of mock hurt as he immediately stood up, crossing his arms across his chest. "I see how it is!"

I stood up next to him, placing my paws on his arms. I stood up on my tip-paws and gently kissed the large tom on the cheek. I slowly backed up and smiled. "Thanks for everything."

His eyes were wide with bewilderment as a soft blush crept into his cheeks. "No problem." He mumbled. "Just lookin' out for ya."

He quickly smiled and gave me a quick hug. "Well I best be goin'. Gotta practice my dancing; don't want to step on Cetty's paws."

I nodded, "Good luck! I will request the perfect song for you two!"

Plato nodded and turned to leave. Just as he reached the entrance, he turned to me, "Love the new collar Vik. He's a lucky tom! He best not screw this up again." With the few words, Plato was gone.

I sat back down at my vanity and stared at my reflection. I was glad that our exchange had not become awkward. While I didn't know what had come over me, I knew that my little kiss had not meant to be a romantic one, and I was glad that Plato didn't seem to have taken it that way. If he had, there was no way he could have brought Cetty and Quaxo up so easily.

I stared into the mirror, examining myself as I became lost in thought. I suddenly realized what it was I did; I said my goodbye. While we weren't physically leaving each other, it was time that Plato and I went our separate ways. We had grown up together, we used to be inseparable, but now we were moving on, growing apart. What made it the most painful separation was that we were aware of the growing distance, we ourselves, were widening the chasm. Quaxo had become my new priority while Cetty was quickly becoming Plato's. He was still one of the most important cats to me, and I hoped that I was to him, but we had others that our hearts _belonged_ to and not just cared for.

I had said goodbye to my first love.

Yes, that was it; it was a fact that I had always denied to myself, but now had to confront. Plato had been the first tom I had loved. Sure, it was more of a kitten love than anything serious, but love is love. No matter what silly word I gave it and no matter how I tried to explain it away, Plato was a cat that I had deeply cared for. He was the first cat to welcome me so generously into the junkyard with no cares about where I had come from. We had always played together, told our secrets to each other, and had become an integral part of each other's life. We had always been friends, but before long, that friendship had turned into a kind of love. I had loved for Plato, and followed him around, always wanting to be by his side, always wanting to see him happy. I had fooled myself into thinking we were just like siblings, but deep down, I knew that I had loved him.

However, none of what I had felt for Plato compared to my feelings for Quaxo. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fool myself in the meaning of my feelings for the tuxedo tom. For Plato, I had cared for him only because he made me smile. However, when I was with Quaxo there was no describing my feelings. He made me smile, but I always longed to make him smile more. I constantly wondered what he was doing and how he was feeling, hoping he was happy. I never wanted to leave Quaxo's side and I never wanted to see him with another queen; I knew that that sight alone would tear me apart. However, I was fine with letting Plato leave my den with the plans of meeting another.

I let my paw brush my cheek as I realized that a tear had escaped my eyes and was finding it's way down. I gave a feint smile. I was fine with Plato leaving and moving on, just like I had, but that gentle ache was still in my heart. It can't be avoided when someone special to you leaves. But I knew that the Plato from the past, the one that I had innocently loved, would always be mine, just like the young Victoria would always be his. I cherished those memories, but knew that I wanted to move on. I wanted to be with Quaxo until the end. Plato was nothing more than a stepping stool to make me appreciate and understand my love for Quaxo.

I brushed the stray tear from my face. I began recalling the times I shared with Quaxo, bringing a smile to my face and banishing my tears. I continued to groom my face and the rest of my fur, making sure it was a clean as possible. I wanted to look the best I could, I wanted everyone to know how lucky I was and how serious I was taking the honor of going with the marvelous Quaxo.

After I groomed myself to perfection, I stood in my den and began to twirl around the room. The evening couldn't come fast enough. I was glad that Jem agreed to move the dance earlier without any interrogation. Since Quaxo had to return to his den by sundown, the dance would have been too short. There was no way that we could ask Munk for an exception, and we respected him enough to know that fact, I had decided to make a request of Jem.

When I had asked her, she looked at me as if she was about to ask why, but thought better of it. Maybe more cats saw how upset I was last night than I thought. It was not a pleasant thought, but at least it made things easier on me.

I finally gave up my dancing and dropped to my bed, staring up at the ceiling as my fairies began dancing about. I wondered where Griddlebone was.

Whenever she came for a visit, it was always late at night. It would be after she returned from a mission and everyone was asleep. She said those were the easiest times to sneak away. She would always ask me to dance for her since all I did in the lonely ally was teach myself various ballet moves. I remembered that by the time I finished, she was always crying as she clapped her paws.

One time, I asked her why she was crying. I had been worried that she was upset or that I had performed poorly. She just shook her head and repeatedly kissed me through her tears. She had said that she was just too old to dance and she missed it. She would then apologize repeatedly that I had to live alone in the alley.

I remembered hugging her that night, telling her that I didn't want it any other way, as long as she would visit me.

But she had left me. She dropped me off in this yard and left, never looking back. Where was she now? Was she doing well? Was she happy? I wished that she would come back and meet Quaxo. I wished that she could see me dance with him. How proud she would be. If she thought I was beautiful dancing alone as a kitten, imagine how impressed she would be if she saw me dancing with such a tom as Quaxo.

I smiled again as another breeze blew against the ball, causing the fairies to dance some more. It didn't matter anymore. What did I care about who saw Quaxo and I together? As long as we were together, I didn't need anything else.

Just then, a soft knock recalled me from my thoughts. I looked up to see a white and black face peering into my den. "Hey Vik."

I shot up and ran over to the door, flinging my arms around the tom's neck. "Quaxo!" I called with a smile.

He looked a bit surprised at my greeting, but returned the embrace all the same. "You didn't miss me too much, did you?" He purred through his chuckles.

I began to purr as well, nuzzling his neck. I peered up at him and smiled. I couldn't explain myself. It just felt so right to be in his arms, to look into his eyes. "I did!"

He rolled his eyes. "You imposed the banishment, remember?"

I recalled leaving his den and commanding him to stay behind. I tried my best to frown through my giddy smile, "A mistake I'll never make again."

He laughed and hugged me tighter. "Glad to hear it. Ready for tonight?"

I peeked over his shoulder, looking at the sky. I hadn't realized that it had gotten so late. I turned back to my date and nodded enthusiastically. "I don't think I could've waited any longer!"

**A/N: Hope this chapter was okay. I am unsure about it… I might change it sometime down the road… Anyways, I hope all you Plato haters don't mind this chapter. I tried my best to make sure it was clear that it was a kittenish fling and she has no feelings for him like that anymore. I just felt that it fit and I had to have the two characters admit their feelings and move on. Since I had them being such good friends, I had to have a chapter where they accepted the changes in their life. Ya know? Anyways, the dance will be next chapter along with a surprise! :P Thanks again for reading!**


	10. Explosion

**Chapter 10: The Ball**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this has been so long. Not only have I been bombarded with work, but I also had serious writers block for this chapter. Therefore I did the little iTunes shuffle experiment to try and expel the block (which I may eventually publish). However, I still had some serious blockage up in the brain… I know where I want the story to go, and I knew how I wanted this chapter to end, but everything in between just didn't want to flow. So sorry again and thank you so much for following! Review please! Thanks!**

**Still don't own cats… or any creativity for the disclaimer. **

Quaxo took my paw and began to pull me out of my den with the largest grin plastered on his face. It was almost comical, but I realized that my face was probably equally as joyous. However, as soon as we stepped out into the fresh air, I felt my grin drop ever so slightly.

Sitting lazily on one of the many piles of junk was a cocky black and white tom, allowing his tail to flick lethargically back and forth. Alonzo glanced at us and then to the surrounding yard, as if thinking he could fool us. He was clearly Quaxo's chaperone. He would follow us and watch for the rest of the night.

My uneasiness grew as I realized that the rest of the younger cats would not really welcome Alonzo. This dance was supposed to be our special event, the older cats were not to really even know about it, let alone attend. I didn't want them to be mad at Quaxo or I, but we couldn't tell them the actual reason for Alonzo's attendance of the dance. I gave a quick swallow as I decided that I would just have to tell them that I let it slip. If it meant getting to go to a dance with Quaxo, I could deal with a few cats' anger. Plus they would get over it relatively soon.

Alonzo yawned, stretching his limbs as he rolled onto his back. I had to admit, he was really convincing at looking like he was doing nothing. If I hadn't known the regulations placed on Quaxo, I probably would have thought that Alonzo really had been just taking a nap outside my den.

My eyes met Alonzo's as he glanced in our direction. There was a moment of stillness, as if both of us were testing the waters, seeing how the other would react. However, Alonzo lazily closed his eyes and turned his head to face the sky. I could see the corner of his mouth curl up into a subtle smile.

I relaxed. I was glad to know that Alonzo was not going about his duties with any ill will. Maybe he had realized that Quaxo meant every word he said. Quaxo was one of us. He was a Jellicle.

Quaxo squeezed my paw, gently pulling my attention back towards him. I smiled as I gazed into those copper pools that I so loved. I laughed as I saw the corner of those eyes crinkle with the smile that he returned.

"Ready for tonight?" He purred. His face was lit up with complete innocence. He was like a kitten listening attentively to the story of the Great Rumpus Cat. He couldn't wait to see how tonight's story would turn out.

I found his enthusiasm to be infectious as I eagerly nodded in reply. "Of course!"

As if following some cue, we both began to run towards the location that Cetty and Plato had designated. We wove expertly around the various objects that sprang up before us as if we had run these trails a thousand times. However, we never let go of each other's paws, we remained connected as we traveled through the yard.

Just as my den was about to be out of sight, I glanced over my shoulder to see if Alonzo was still lounging on the pile of junk. The patched tom was gone. I quickly scanned the surrounding area, but saw no sign of him. Maybe he would remain hidden to the other kittens too. I could only hope so.

I was suddenly withdrawn from my musing as I felt a swift jerk on my arm, pulling my to my right. Quaxo had pulled me off my path, which had been on a collision course with a rather large discarded television set.

I realized that I had to forget Alonzo. He didn't matter tonight. This evening was all about Quaxo and me. Who cared what others thought? Why should we care who was watching us? As long as we had each other, nothing could ruin this dance!

I laughed again as I jumped over a small pile books and Quaxo ducked under a steel bar that was sticking out from a nearby pile.

I could tell that we were nearing the dance's location because I could faintly hear the music as it drifted down the wind. The closer we got to the location, the more I could feel the music as it pulsed through the ground.

The clearing came into sight and I gasped as my feet stayed planted in the ground. I looked at Quaxo pleadingly; my eyes begging him to tell me what I was thinking was untrue.

From the clearing I saw various colored lights illuminate the dimming sky. I knew that Quaxo had volunteered to help decorate, but he couldn't have violated the 'treaty' already, could he have? I couldn't think of any way that those beautifully colored lights could have been made in the clearing without the use of his magic.

Quaxo glanced from my heartbroken face to the clearing and than back to me. He broke into a smile and laughed, pulling me close to him and wrapping his paws around my waist. "Relax, silly." He cooed. "It's not what you think. I hunted around the yard and found some flashlights and some batteries with some power left. Then Pounce and I found some colored stuff to shine the lights through. I wanted there to still be some magic in the evening…"

I began to purr as the sentiments behind his actions hit me. He was such a sweet tom. Even when there were restrictions on him, he still did everything in his power to make sure everyone had a good time. To make sure that _I_ had a good time.

Quaxo returned my purr with one of his own and a heartwarming smile. He leaned in close enough that I see each one of his eyelashes. I held my breath. Somehow, with him so close to me, I had forgotten how to breathe.

"Good. I wanted to see that smile." He purred again as he leaned in, covering the little distance left between us and gingerly placed a warm kiss on the tip of my nose.

I pulled back and laughed. My nose had begun to tingle and I eagerly wiggled it back and forth, trying to rid myself of the sensation. My paws were resting on his upper arms, and I didn't want to detangle them from his fur. I could only imagine how I looked at that point. I was wiggling my nose to try and get rid of the itch since I refused to let go of Quaxo. On top of that, my eyes were crossed, as it was my natural instinct to look towards the source of my discomfort on my body.

I heard a harmonious, soft laughter, causing me to look up from my nose and back into the entrancing copper eyes. They were bright with amusement. Quaxo took one paw away from my waist and reached up to my nose, giving it a gentle scratch. "Better?" He couldn't hide the laughter from his voice.

"Almost…"

He cocked his head to the side in confusion; unsure of what else he could do that would make the moment better.

I giggled as I inclined my head towards the tuxedo tom and softly brushed my lips against his. I felt his lips press against mine, welcoming their presence. His paw reached up, cupping my chin and holding me against him.

After a few moments of passion I smiled through the kiss and pulled my head away, opening my eyes to take in the blessing before me. I saw Quaxo's eyes flutter open as well, intently gazing into mine.

"Come on!" I half whined, half giggled. "The others'll be wondering where we are!" I spun in his arms and grabbed his paw as I took off towards the clearing, pulling him behind me.

We both came to a stop in unison at the very edge of the clearing. I let my watchful eyes rest on the beautiful scene before me. Running around under the lights, allowing the colors to dance of their pelts were about half a dozen cats finishing up the decorations. Everyone was helping each other as the last little bits of cloth were hung on the piles and the final few lights were moved for maximum illumination.

I was glad that we had decided to hold the ball while the ground was still covered with snow. The way the flakes fluttered as the cats scurried about and the way it reflected the colored lights made the magic of the night really come alive.

I glanced around me, wondering if I could find a black and white patched tom hiding around in the piles. My search came up empty-handed, I couldn't even see a feint movement within the towering piles. That tom was a great surveillance, and somehow had heard my prayers and had every intention of staying hidden.

I released a sigh of relief as I calmly walked into the clearing with Quaxo securely holding my paw. The other cats turned to greet us in turn as everyone seemed to slowly congregate at the center.

Pounce and Mungo stood proudly at the very center, chests puffed out in satisfaction as they pointed to all the lights and cloths they had hung around the clearing. The queens made exclamations of awe at each object that the two toms pointed to.

Plato slipped up beside me and laughed as I had begun to get caught up in the admiration. He looked over and made eye contact with Quaxo and the two toms held their gaze for a bit. I was worried that Plato might try to say something, but instead he just smiled and gave a polite nod. Quaxo returned the gesture before turning back towards the other cats, exclaiming that he helped too. Plato laughed and joined in as the toms began to compete with each other to say who had contributed the most, much to the amusement of the queens.

After a few minutes of toms calling back and forth, slowly getting louder as they compete with each other, a commanding Jem and Addie walked towards the group. Jem stood as tall as her petite stature would allow and called for quiet. I tried my best to suppress a giggle that had begun to rise up within me. Even though Jem was so small, she always seemed to be in control of those around her. She wasn't in control in any kind of dictating way, but she was just calm and collected, a natural leader.

"Hey, guys, please!" She called as Tumble and Pounce began a small nudge war, quietly pushing each other back and forth. The two toms ears flattened as they gazed down at the ground in submission to the small queen.

Jem cleared her throat and continued, "Anyways. Thanks to everyone for helping out and coming! Addie has set up the boombox thing and picked some really great songs. But remember, there is one rule! Everyone has to dance with everyone at least once!" She giggled a little bit as the kitten inside her, her true self, began to peek through. She twirled towards Addie and deftly rested her paws on his arm. "Let the ball begin!" She called as everyone cheered.

All the cats immediately began to pair off. Jem sat neatly down by Addie as he settled himself next to the boombox and pressing the magic button that allowed the machine to play the music that he had put in. Plato gracefully asked Lectra to dance. I was sure he was just building up his courage; plus the girl you like's best friend has to like you too. Mungo had walked over to Cetty and bowed before her, extending his paw asking for a dance. The young queen couldn't contain her bubbly giggling as she energetically nodded her head. Teazer had moved over to Tumble and Pounce as the three began an acrobatic contest. It wasn't exactly what I would have expected at a dance, but it was the two things that those three loved, a contest and acrobatics.

I felt the paw in mine pull me closer and then raise my paw above my head, forcing me to spin. I happily obliged the guiding paw as my turn brought me face to face with a handsome young Quaxo. "May I have the first dance?"

I didn't even have to respond as we began to twirl and jump around the clearing.

However, the music finally began to change as the song drew to a close and I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to see a smirking Plato at my side. "May I cut in?" He asked, turning his gaze towards Quaxo.

Quaxo nodded and slowly placed my paw in Plato's. "Of course. We've gotta follow the rules." He laughed. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before trotting over to the observing Jem and outstretched his paw, beckoning her to dance.

I turned my attention back to Plato and began circle him as I molded my dance moves to the music. Plato instinctual responded to my dancing as we began to work around the clearing and the other pairs.

The music was just slow enough to allow for conversation and I was not going to let this opportunity to pass. I needed an update on where Plato was with Cetty. "So when you gonna ask her to dance?"

Plato rolled his eyes as he grabbed my paw and spun me around him. "So nosey!" He chided, grabbing my waist and performing an assisted leap.

I spun out form his grip and turned to face him, continuing to move with the music. "This is very important information."

He laughed, "Well, I guess if it's so important… I was thinking after the next song. I promised the next one to Teazer. She wants to try a lift. Says it's the one thing she can do that the boys really can't."

I laughed. That would be focus of that mischievous queen, to outshine the boys.

"You ready for it? You don't want to freeze up and let the cat catch your tongue."

Plato even had the politeness to laugh at my horrible pun. "I think I can figure it out. And hopefully, we will soon be competing with you and Quaxo for cutest couple."

I smiled at his optimistic outlook and welcomed the challenge as the song came to an end. The two of us each theatrically bowed to the other and came up laughing as everyone began searching for their next partners.

I was still debating who to dance with next as the next song began to play. It was a beautifully soft song that seemed more like a lullaby than a dance number. A black figure stood before me, keeping me from my search for my next partner.

"You would have to be crazy to think that I would let the first slow song of the night go to another tom." Quaxo purred in my ear.

I smiled as I wrapped my paws around his neck and his paws found their place encircling my waist. We fit together perfectly, as if we were made for each other. I was glad he had interrupted my search. Even though I hadn't been thinking about it, I knew that the second I had found someone, I would have regretted every second of it. It's not that I didn't like the other toms and queens, but I know I would have wanted the first slow dance to be with Quaxo.

We slowly drifted around the clearing with small lifts and jumps scattered throughout our dance. I eventually rested my head on Quaxo's shoulder as he rested his head on mine. I felt his chest begin to vibrate with his purrs as he hugged me closer. I felt his paws as they began to play with the fur on my back, causing shivers to run up and down my spine. Would I ever get used to his touch? I hoped not, I loved the constant reminder of how much Quaxo meant to me.

The song came to an end, but we continued to hold each other close, both refusing to let go. The next song began and I peeked over Quaxo's shoulder to see Plato stride purposefully towards Cetty. I let a smile appear across my face as I reluctantly pulled away from my love. "Like you said, we have to follow the rule." I purred, cupping his cheek in my paw.

I received a playful pout in return. He finally let a laugh escape his lips, ruining what was left of his unconvincing ploy. He eventually nodded and turned to find a new partner as I also turned to find mine. Pounce happily cured me of my search.

While I gladly began to jump and dance around with my energetic new partner, my gaze kept wandering to Plato and Cetty. Neither of them had spoken to the other yet, which was unusual for Cetty, but I could see Plato summoning his courage.

Just then, I heard a low hiss come from my right. Us cats that were in earshot of the noise stopped our motion as we turned towards the offender. Who could possibly have anything to hiss at on a night like tonight?

Quaxo stood next to Lectra in a low crouch as his fur stood on end. His eyes were distant, as if looking beyond the small gathering in the clearing. No one knew what to do, and by this time, the rest of the cats had noticed Quaxo's strange behavior and were beginning to gather around him. It was a rather eerie feeling as the jovial music continued to play but all the cats in the clearing stood stock still, analyzing the tense tom in the middle.

Quaxo let out another hiss as he dashed over to me. He pushed his way in front of Pounce, nearly knocking him to the ground. Luckily, Tumble caught him. Quaxo swiftly grabbed my paws and squeezed them tight.

His grip hurt and I let out a soft whimper, trying to pull them away. I was scared. What was going on? Why was Quaxo so upset and what was he doing? Didn't he know that he was hurting me?

He kept his vice like grip around my paws as his eyes desperately tried to search mine. He was looking for something, I could tell, but I didn't know what. I anxiously wanted to give him what he was searching for, I wanted to ease whatever it was that was frightening him, but I didn't have a clue what it was.

Finally, he looked down at his paws as they continued to squeeze mine. He let go with a disgusted look and then brought them up to cover his face. "Shit!" he growled as he took off out of the clearing and towards the main meeting place.

There was a stunned silence for a moment as no one was exactly sure what had happened. Even I was unable to move as I was trying my best to decipher what exactly had transpired.

Just as I was beginning to regain my wits and look about at the other confused felines, a loud explosion rang out from the meeting spot. The ground shook with its impact as we all took a step to catch our balance.

"Quaxo!" I whispered. What happened? Was he okay?

My ears jumped forward as hissing and screaming began to call across the junkyard. Fear overtook me as I began to blindly run towards the clearing. I could hear the patter of paws as the others followed close behind me.

Only one thought crossed my mind. Where was Quaxo?

**A/N: Again, sorry so much for the late update guys! I almost feel like I've been neglecting a child or something precious. I feel so terrible! Anyways after this next week ends, the work should lighten up. If I can't update by Monday, you won't see an update till at least next Friday. I know, it makes me want to cry. I AM SO SORRY! Please forgive me and review! Thanks.**


	11. Alone

**Chapter 11: Alone**

**A/N: Hey guys! Yay! I got an update out! I just couldn't resist writing this. Let's see how my work schedule pans out now. Haha anyways, sorry it's so long! There was just no way I could think of to break it up. If I split it in half it was way too short. I hope it's not too long. And just a warning, there is some violence in it. Please, bear with me everyone! I promise to make this story worth your while! So don't be angry at where the story leaves off. Pretty please! I will try to update soon because I don't want to leave the story here for too long. Review! It means a ton. **

**Still don't own Cats! Shocker!**

My sprint towards the clearing was quite the opposite of the run to the dance. All grace and balance seemed to have fled my body along with Quaxo, as it seemed that every small object found within the yard tripped me up. Only two things consumed my mind at that moment, fear of what was going on in the clearing and worry for Quaxo's wellbeing.

Multiple times I thought that I was going to fall face first into the ground, but each time, a steady paw caught my arm. I glanced over to see a concerned Plato easily keeping pace with my frantic running. I tried my best to return his actions with a grateful smile, by my face couldn't even manage a façade of happiness.

The band of younger cats and I came to a halt as we reached an entrance to the central clearing and a thunder of hisses hit our ears. We stood at the back end of a tense stand off.

Standing on a smoldering junk pile was a lean, matted, copper tom. His golden eyes surveyed the junkyard before him. The shadows that surrounded him began to move and morph, creating a haunting vision. The movement was caused by his many henchcats as they emerged from their hiding places.

Macavity laughed as more Jellicles ran into the clearing, fur on end.

I heard a gasp as I saw Jenny, Jelly, and Asparagus come running towards our little band. Jenny quickly grasped all three of her boys, as if making sure that they really were there, in front of her. Asparagus began to work his way through the band of cats, making sure that everyone was present and accounted for. Jelly immediately wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me close to her. I could see tears in her, but I couldn't bring myself to comfort her. Instead I squirmed against the restraints that her arms created as I desperately searched for Quaxo.

I was terrified of the copper menace before me and all I wanted was to find the safety I only felt enwrapped in Quaxo's arms.

No matter how much I squirmed or searched, I couldn't find a glimpse of my tom. However, I did spot Alonzo right next to Munkustrap and the twins in the front of the Jellicle tribe. Everyone was in a defensive position, waiting for Macavity to make the first move.

The hidden paw laughed as he stood in a relaxed position, clearly enjoying the commotion before him. He began to speak, his voice low and menacing. I immediately started shaking, an almost instinctual reaction. "Well, hello there, my…friends."

Munkustrap snarled, cutting off Macavity. "What do you want, Macavity?"

Macavity held up his paws as if telling Munk to calm down. "Isn't it obvious?" he purred. "I have come to take over what is rightfully mine: this junkyard and the tribe."

Protests arose as many of the tribe began to hiss louder, calling insults to the Napoleon of Crime. Macavity began to yell over their calls, forcing them to quiet down. "Luckily for you, I am in a good mood. So if you would all just willingly surrender, I am sure I can find something besides death for you in my empire." His words were so calm and his voice was so confident, he truly believed that he was going to take over the junkyard.

I renewed my search for Quaxo as my fear heightened to a peak.

Alonzo released a snarl so ferocious that I suddenly grew scared of him as well. I didn't know Alonzo could ever be that mad. Sure, I had seen him fight during the ball, but this was a new level of ferocity. He would take no prisoners today. I was grateful that none of the henchcats were even as half as terrifying as the fury in Alonzo's voice. If they were, I surely would have lost any hope of winning the impeding battle.

Through gritted teeth, the black and white tom snarled, "What makes you think you will take this junkyard, yet alone with a surrender?"

Macavity just smiled, never losing his cocky air. "Because you can't win this battle. You have no plan of defense, and you are ill prepared. In addition I easily outnumber you." He paused for a moment, as if thinking through his words. The silence that pervaded the yard donned a terrified feeling as his words sank in. "However, I cannot take full praise for this soon-to-be victory. I must give some credit where it is due."

As he finished his statement, the lean tom extended his left paw out in front of him and swiped it to the side, as if brushing away a fly. His action sent a rather large milk crate across the junkyard, crashing into a nearby junk pile. Standing huddled, where the crate had been, was a shaking tuxedoed tom.

"Quaxo!" I breathed as I made an attempt to run to him. He looked so scared and small that I had forgotten all about my fears and longed to comfort him.

Jelly tightened her grip around my shoulders, keeping me firmly in place as she hissed for me to stop. "He is not our friend."

I turned towards her in shock, I had never heard her so angry. She wasn't even that mad on the day I had played leapfrog with Jem and Plato in Jenny's clinical den. I couldn't move a muscle, even if I wanted to. Her voice was so commanding.

I turned my face back towards Quaxo as the hisses of realization sprang forth from the other cats. I blinked as tears began to sting my eyes.

Macavity motioned for Quaxo to approach him. Quaxo reluctantly obeyed the command, avoiding the hateful eyes of the tribe. Only I seemed to be watching with what could be considered pity for the young tom.

Once Quaxo reached Macavity's side, the copper tom grandly placed his arm around the smaller one as if they were the best of companions. He theatrically motioned towards the rest of the tribe, indicating for Quaxo to take in the scene before them. He addressed Quaxo, though making sure that the whole yard could hear every word.

"I must thank you, my dear Quaxo. Without you, this victory would not be possible." Quaxo winced as Macavity joyously pronounced his name. "How else could we have caught them so off guard? You telling them about our 'planned attack' next week was a stroke of genius! Now we can test the strengths and weaknesses you informed us about."

Quaxo glared at the ground, unable to meet our faces. Why wasn't he denying it?

It hit me. I had been lied to and duped the entire time, as well as the rest of the tribe. Nothing he had said to us was true. I had been used. The tears freely began to flow from my eyes as I repeatedly shook my head. It was as if I believed that that small action would change the course of the present. My body began trembling again as I tried my best to contain the emotions that were raging inside me.

I was the only one who had felt our love. I had been so happy. He probably enjoyed watching my innocent love grow. He didn't care how hard I fell. It wasn't like he was going to be around to pick up the pieces. My breathing became labored and it felt as if a monumental weight sat squarely on my chest. I began to gasp as I frantically tried to gulp in the air I needed.

Jelly frantically looked around and then gave me another squeeze. I couldn't respond.

From the corner of my eye, I saw her pleadingly look at Asparagus. I didn't know what he did in response, but she quickly tried pulling me back in the direction we had come from.

I stayed firmly planted to the ground, unable to take my eyes off of the matted tom as he lazily laid his arm across this tuxedoed companion's shoulders.

With a final forceful yank, Jelly had broken my trance and began to pull me away from the clearing. I proceeded to follow her, my body completely numb of all emotion. I blankly stared ahead as I saw Jenny usher Lectra, Jem, and Cetty away with me. The two motherly queens led us younger queens to another oven a ways away from the clearing.

The quickly pushed us into the oven. And began talking to us. It took me a moment to realize what they were saying. We were told to stay in the oven, no matter what. We weren't trained to fight and they couldn't risk us in the clearing when one erupts.

I heard Cetty try and protest but was immediately silenced. Teazer and the toms had all been trained to fight for patrols and could take care of themselves. While they admired her courage, they convinced Cetty that it would be best for the four of us to remain hidden.

Finally, with a last teary kiss on the cheek, the two elderly queens closed the door that had remained on this oven and we listened as we heard the two sprint back towards the clearing.

Silence dominated the oven. I was grateful. I didn't want to have to relive the past few minutes. I wanted to let my body go numb; I wanted to cherish the feeling of nothing. I had fallen beyond the void of depression.

I knew it was silly. The tom was my first serious relationship. What right had I to fall into this state of shock? I hadn't even known him for a year. But I didn't care. I loved Quaxo. I thought that we were meant to be together. To know the depths that I had been lied to was too much for me.

I suddenly felt a soft warmth rest on my paw. I hissed as I quickly drew it away. Even the gentlest touch felt like a hot coal searing into my skin. I didn't want anyone to touch me; I didn't want to feel anything that would remind me of him.

The paw retreated and I looked up to see three concerned queens watching me with sad eyes. Jem was in the center with her paw half outstretched. She must have been the one to reach out to me.

"Vik?" She asked, her eyes brimming with tears.

Nothing else was said. No one wanted to tread on the sacred ground that opened a vast chasm between us.

The fighting must have started. Even muffled by the distance and the oven's walls, we could hear as cats hissed and snarled. We heard shouts and screams mixed together in a horrendous symphony.

"It's fine." I finally mumbled, looking away from the three and hugging myself. "He lied. I understand that now."

Jem reached out a second time. This time neither of us pulled away. Some contact was comforting as the battle ensued. "Maybe…" Jem craned her face to meet mine. I saw in her eyes some kind of hope, it startled me. "He didn't look happy… maybe we don't know the whole story." I could tell at this point that Jem was forcing herself say these words. However, I desperately wanted to hear those words, no matter how fake they truly were.

I bolted upright. That's right. I didn't know the whole story. What if he still loved me but had to work for Macavity? The Napoleon of Crime didn't get that title for nothing. He was an evil cat, I am sure Quaxo was scared of him.

What I had felt couldn't have been fake, could it have?

"I have to go to the clearing." I said triumphantly as I began to crawl towards the door to the oven.

I felt a flurry of paws grab me as hisses of protest erupted from behind.

"What in the name of Everlasting Cat are you doing?" Lectra demanded.

I forcefully pulled my arms free from the others and turned to look at them, a new hope and life in my eyes. "Don't you see? I am sure Macavity was forcing Quaxo to work for him. But now I am sure that he is fighting alongside Alonzo and Munk. I have to go and see. It wouldn't be fair to be here doubting him when I know he is good."

The three only stared at me, complete disbelief plastered to their faces. Cetty hesitantly broke the silence. "Vik…" She was about to continue, but thought better of it. "Why don't you just believe he's good and wait here?" The others readily agreed that this was the best plan of action.

I took no heed of Cetty's suggestion and began to push the door open. "No. I have to see now." I couldn't say why, but my heart was desperately longing to see Quaxo fighting alongside my friends and family.

My friends no longer tried to stop me. My determination was too strong and they had given up.

I cautiously stepped out of the oven and silently closed the door behind me. They may be content to wait in ignorance, but I was going to see the truth with my own eyes. I continued on my path towards the clearing with slow progression. All of my senses were on the highest alert as I did my best to maneuver in complete silence. I didn't have to be a part of the fight, or even seen. I just wanted to see him for myself.

The cacophony of shouts grew louder as I drew closer. However, the voices seemed separated. I imagined that the skirmishes had broken apart and were on a more individual basis now.

I approached a junk pile that I knew was quite a distance away from the clearing, but tall enough that I could probably see the tides of battle. I silently tiptoed up to the pile and pressed my body against its mass. I took a deep breath as I readied myself to begin my climb.

Just as I placed my foot on a sturdy box, a flash of pain radiated from the back of my head. My vision went white for a moment as I felt my head yanked backwards. When my vision returned, I was staring up at the dusk sky. It felt as if the headfur on the back of my head was on fire, slowly being torn from my skull.

I whimpered as tears sprang to my eyes.

As I attempted to blink my tears away, I saw a pair of sunken gold eyes gaze down into mine. Macavity smiled as he gave another yank on my headfur causing another whine to escape my lips.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here?" He purred, grazing my tear soaked cheek with the back of his free paw. "Do you know who this is, Quaxo?"

I froze as the menacing tom said the name. It couldn't be. Quaxo had to be fighting with Munkustrap and the tribe. _He had to._

"That is V-Victoria."

I began to tremble as I heard what used to be such a comforting voice respond to my worst enemy. I heard no indication that Quaxo intended to protect me.

Macavity lessened the tension in his arm, allowing me to bring my head upright to see the two toms standing before me. However, he kept his grip on my fur allowing for a dull ache at the base of my skull.

"Victoria…hmmm. She looks rather familiar, doesn't she?"

Quaxo looked at Macavity with a combination of fear and puzzlement. "I-I don't know what you mean." He replied quietly, dropping his gaze to his paws.

"You know exactly what I mean." Macavity's voice was low and menacing; warning Quaxo that there was a correct course of action.

Quaxo gulped and kept his eyes glued to his paws. "Faintly, yes."

I finally garnered some courage and without regard to the paw gripping my fur, blurted out, "What do you mean?"

There was silence as no one answered my question. Macavity began to laugh. "This is just grand." He purred. "And you were beginning to fall for her?" He shook my head to emphasis his question.

I tried my best to stifle my tears. I didn't want to give either of them the satisfaction of seeing how upset I was.

"That is just too beautiful." Macavity's voice took on a sarcastic, mocking tone. "Are you looking for some form of redemption?"

Quaxo remained silent, refusing to meet either of our gazes.

"Please…" Was all I managed to whimper.

"I agree." Macavity purred, stroking my cheek again, this time with his claw. I involuntarily hissed as I felt his claw make a slight cut across my cheek. "Tell her Quaxo. I want you to tell her everything. I want her to know how you entered the ranks of my empire." As he finished his command, Macavity threw me towards Quaxo. My knees hit the ground hard as I caught myself with my paws. I couldn't look up as my neck had been cramped from the way Macavity had held my head. But I saw Quaxo's black legs take a step forwards toward me, but stop.

There was silence for a while as I stared at my paws as they gripped the snow, blinking away my tears, trying my best to hide them.

"Quaxo, I said tell her!"

The feet before me straightened up and stood next to each other at attention. Quaxo's voice quavered as he responded to Macavity's order. "When I asked to enter the ranks of Macavity's Empire, I was given an initiatory task. To kill an enemy of Macavity…"

"Please, my dear boy, continue. Who was your target?"

"A queen who was a known liar and traitor to the empire."

There was a hesitation before the name was announced, but I already knew. The tears now fell freely with no reservations. My paws curled into fists, immediately melting the snow caught within them.

"I was sent to, and successfully executed, the traitor Griddlebone." Quaxo's voice had gone emotionless as he finished his 'report'.

My emotions exploded within me. I leapt up and charged Quaxo. I felt the tears burn my eyes and streak down my cheeks: tears of mourning and tears of betrayal. I had always believed that my mother was somewhere, looking for me or waiting to return. But she was dead, and had been for years. The tom that had fooled me into loving him had killed her. He had used me over and over again while I constantly defended him. I couldn't take these emotions anymore. They needed an escape.

Quaxo easily grabbed my wrists, preventing me from causing any damage. I continued to struggle as I tried my best to land a blow, blind with hurt and sorrow. But no matter how angry I was, I realized I couldn't unsheathe my claws towards him.

His grip tightened and I ceased struggling. It was useless. Everything was useless. I gazed into the eyes that had once enraptured me. They were as cold as the biting snow. Deep behind the stony front, I thought I saw a flash of sadness enter the copper orbs. It was quickly brushed aside as his gaze bore into me.

I finally tore my gaze from his and fell to my knees, letting my sobs rack my body.

Macavity began to laugh again as I heard him step closer towards Quaxo and I. "You really are such a good little tom." He purred.

Quaxo jolted his head up, away from me to face Macavity as he advanced. He bared his teeth for a moment and allowed a low hiss to escape his throat.

I heard Macavity cease his advance as the two toms stood still, eyeing each other in challenge. After a moment, Quaxo threw my arms to the side, causing me to fall into the snow. As I pulled myself up, I saw his tail disappear around a pile as he fled the fighting.

Macavity resumed his advance, only this time towards me. "Look at your little prince go. Tells you about his part with your poor old mummy then flees. Quite the coward you had there."

I couldn't respond. All I could do was stare blankly at the pile that Quaxo had fled around.

I felt a paw grab my chin as my face was yanked towards the matted tom. "I am talking to you." He growled.

He let his paw drop and stood up to his full height. He drew his arm back and unsheathed his claws. He was ready to strike me and all I could do was stare at him. I couldn't move, I couldn't react. In fact, I wasn't sure I even wanted to. Everything was gone: my mother, my lover, and the junkyard. Was there really anything to fight towards?

Just as Macavity was about to strike, a blur of white and copper streaked across my field of vision knocking Macavity to his feet.

The blur was flung against a nearby junk pile as a sickening thud hit my ears. I turned to see who had saved me. Plato sat slumped at the bottom of a junk pile, his fur matted and discolored with blood.

Feeling flooded back to my body as I saw my friend leaning against the pile. I screamed as I raced towards the limp body, ignoring any danger that Macavity may have presented. I began to sob as I took Plato into my embrace, not caring that his blood readily stained my alabaster fur.

Macavity began to stand, brushing some snow from his fur. He growled as he began to advance. I didn't know what to do, but I bared my teeth, emitting a hiss in warning. I didn't care that I had no battle training; I wasn't going to let that cat touch one more hair on Plato's head.

Macavity's advance was soon cut short as more growls began to surround us. Many battle worn Jellicles began to emerge, hissing and spitting as they approached.

The lean copper tom looked around rather shocked. He then deftly jumped up to the summit of a nearby pile and looked down as the cats began their own ascent. "I guess you are stronger than I thought. Don't worry. I will remember this, and I will be back again." He then flung a large television set down the heap. Cats had to jump off the pile to avoid being crushed. Macavity jumped over the other end of the pile and was gone.

Pounceival lunged to the top of the small mountain and cautiously peered over. He turned back towards the cats on the ground and shook his head. Macavity wasn't there.

I could tell from the way that the adults began to stand shakily and look around that the fighting was over. We may have won, but we clearly hadn't avoided losses.

Munkustrap stood before me and looked at me with a deep sadness in his eyes before turning his gaze to something in my arms. I then remembered Plato. I turned with horror to face the body I was embracing.

I began to cry again, hugging him close to me. I felt his chest heave as a gurgling cough emitted from the otherwise still body. I pulled my head up, blinking through the tears at the blood soaked face.

A battered, white paw reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek. "It's fine." He said, giving his best attempt at a laugh, but it sounded more like a choke. He settled for his crooked smile. "I protected you. I'm happy."

I shook my head, afraid to speak. I turned to call for help. The others had begun to look for other wounded cats, as we remained out of earshot.

Plato mumbled as he used his paw to turn my face back towards him. "No, let them find others who they can help."

I whimpered as I continued to shake my head.

"I am not fooling myself… They're efforts would be better served helping others." He coughed again. His voice grew feint and I had to lean in to hear what he had to say.

"I guess it's a good think I didn't get to tell Cetty." He chuckled, "Otherwise I think I would have made her sad…"

I hissed. How could he make such an inappropriate joke?

Plato rolled his eyes. I couldn't tell if it was at my reaction or because he was slipping into unconsciousness. "Fine…Promise me something Vik."

I nodded silently, my voice too shaky to respond.

"Find Quaxo. He wasn't fighting. He… he really loves you…" His eyes fluttered shut.

A sob caught in my throat. No one knew the truth behind Quaxo. I never wanted to see that horrendous tom again! I buried my face in Plato's chest as I released the sobs I had been holding in, trying to convince Plato that I was strong.

After crying for what felt like an eternity, I felt strong paws grab my arms and attempt to pry me away from Plato. I resisted with all my might, but the sobbing had taken a toll on my energy and I eventually relented.

A weeping Jenny quickly took my place over her son's body as she began to examine it.

I looked to my right to see Asparagus holding my shoulders, tears brimming in his eyes.

I immediately tore myself out of his grasp and raced away from the clearing, away from the truth, away from Plato, away from everything. I sprinted down the path I knew by heart towards the location that I could find from anywhere in the junkyard.

I entered my secret clearing and began to run towards the center. The snow had begun to melt and I slipped in a forming patch of mud. I couldn't catch myself and fell face first into the ground.

I slid my knees under me and raised my torso off the ground, hugging myself tightly as I resisted the recurring urge to sob. I stayed curled up in the position for a while before finally opening my eyes.

Through sniffles and hiccups I murmured the same thing repeatedly, "You said you loved me. You promised you would stay with me."

As I began to rock back and forth, I glared at my shadow. I then turned to face the sky, unable to keep witness with my shadow. I watched as the moon retreated behind a cloud that filled the night sky. I glanced back down at the ground. My shadow was gone.

I was truly alone.

**A/N: Sad :( Don't hate me Mistoria fans! I really do promise to make this worth your while if you keep reading. Though obviously Quaxo and Vik are going to be apart for a little bit of the story from here on out. I am going to try to update really soon and more regularly so that the suspense isn't killing ya. Thanks again and please review!**


	12. What Do You Want?

**Chapter 12: What Do You Want?**

**A/N: Here is the next installment. I personally really like this chapter. I hope you do too. It's not really happy, and I can't really explain it, but I really like it. And as for what I have in mind for the next chapter, I pretty much adore that one. Sorry it's getting a little angsty, but that is obviously how Vik feels. Hopefully someone can pull her out of it soon. ;)**

**Again, please review, it really helps me to keep going! And thanks so much for following! That's my real inspiration. **

**And as you might be surprised to learn, I still don't own cats. I will find a way though. :)**

I hiccupped as I hugged myself tighter and squeezed my eyes shut. I tried willing the tears to stop their descent down my cheeks, yet they somehow always seemed to find a way through the clenched eyelids. I continued to mumble, "You promised you'd stay with me…" I sounded like I was insane, but it didn't matter, I was beyond caring.

"That's not the part I wanted you to remember."

My eyes shot open but I refused to lift my gaze. I didn't want to see the cat that the voice belonged to. It was a voice that used to give me comfort but now only filled me with despair and sadness. I was afraid to look before me. There were only two consequences to that action. I could look up and no one would be there. I would only confirm to myself that I was truly alone and now crazy. The other option was that Quaxo really would be standing in the clearing before me. I wasn't sure that that option was any better…

Silence ensued as I tried to dare myself to lift my face towards where the voice had originated. I quickly began to fool myself into thinking that I really had made the whole thing up in my mind. I had decided insanity was better than facing betrayal.

"Vik?" His voice finally broke the silence and I winced at the sound.

I heard the snow slosh, as he seemed to be approaching me. The question in voice was so full of concern that I almost allowed myself to forget everything that had happened. The spell that he wove was so entrancing. I could easily fool myself into forgiving him. But I had already learned that lesson. I wasn't going to allow myself to be the subject of any more heartbreaks, not at the paws of him!

The snow crunched again as Quaxo continued to move towards me. No! I couldn't let it happen again! I hurriedly scrambled to my feet as I backed away from the tom.

There he stood, fur blowing in the gentle wind. His copper eyes were full of concern and pain as he gazed at me, his paw held out to me as if begging to take hold. It almost looked as if he was slipping into some dark abyss and he was desperately seeking a paw to pull him out.

I shook the thought from my head and glared at him. I was determined to not let my guard down for any reason in front of this tom. I deserved better and I knew it. He had to know that I had broken the last spell he would ever put on me. I was going to make sure he knew that he could no longer influence me. I no longer loved him. At least that was what I was desperately tried to convince myself as I fought the urge to take his paw and hold him close.

"Wh-what do you want?" I demanded, pulling myself up to my full height. Even I was surprised by the venom behind my voice.

Quaxo sadly let his paw fall to his side and stared down at his feet. He swallowed a few times, clearly unsure of how to proceed. "Well, I figured you would be here…" He trailed off, looking to me as if making sure it was okay to continue.

I stood as still as I could, allowing him to continue.

"So I thought you might be here and I-I wanted to explain things." His gaze turned hopeful as he looked at me.

I continued to stand immobile, I was afraid that any movement would cause all the emotions that were just hiding under the surface to spill over. Once I was confident with my ability to mask those emotions, I whispered through gritted teeth, "What is there to explain?" My paws were begging to shake and I quickly crossed them across my chest and clutched the fur at my sides in an attempt to hide their movement.

The hope quickly faded from Quaxo's eyes, though he never took his gaze away from mine. It was replaced by a kind of desperate determination. "Everything!" His voice reflected the desperation apparent in his gaze. "You have to understand."

I twitched a little as I quelled the warring emotions inside of me. I quickly covered up my reaction by hissing, "Don't give me commands." I was in no mood for it.

Quaxo took a half step back, taken aback by harshness of my words. I smiled even a little bit inwardly. He was getting the point.

"Please!" he whimpered. "I didn't plan any of that! He told me next week and that's what I told Munkustrap! I swear I didn't know!"

I tore my gaze away from his. I couldn't take it anymore. I would have readily welcomed insanity to this torture.

Quaxo regained his courage and took another step towards me as I hissed a warning for him to halt. "Vik…Victoria. Please try to understand. There was only one thing that I never told you. The night we danced here… When I left, I didn't go on patrol; I had been sneaking out to meet with Macavity. But after I told the tribe everything, I never saw him again. Promise!"

I kept my head turned away. I didn't want to listen anymore. If it were possible, I would have turned my ears off. Wasn't being lied to torture enough? Did Everlasting Cat really have to add this pain to my heartbreak? I didn't want to know that from the beginning Macavity had been more of a priority than me.

"See? I have now told you everything. Please trust me!" Quaxo took another step closer; we were now only a cat's length apart. I couldn't bring myself to step away. I was being sucked back into his spell again. My brain was screaming at me to stop him, to run, to do _something_. But my heart knew that if it couldn't make me do anything, it might as well stop me from leaving.

Quaxo took my passive behavior as permission and continued his impassioned plea. He began desperately listing things he had done in the battle. "Victoria. I was trying my best to help in the fight against Macavity, I just couldn't do it openly… I went after a few henchcats. I-I even saved Plato and A-"

"Shut up!" I howled, rearing towards Quaxo and baring my teeth. I must have looked something fearful because the small tom immediately shut his mouth and shrank away. "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" I continued to scream as my voice became more and more shrill. That had been the last straw. Quaxo's comment on the most sacred subject of all, my dear friend Plato, had been more than I could passively deal with. I desperately began to claw at my neck as I put all my effort into ripping the diamond-studded collar off of my neck. The soft fabric finally gave and I wound my arm back and then threw the collar straight at Quaxo.

To my surprise, he did nothing to block the projectile except for turning his head slightly. The collar his him right on the cheek, its sheer force causing him to take a step back. One of the jewels must have made contact with him, because as the collar fell to the ground, I saw a small scratch begin to bleed.

The tears suddenly began to flow freely down my face. Damn it! Whenever I was angry, tears would always flood to my eyes. I hated it. It always made me look weak. That was the last thing I wanted to appear as.

"Why? Haven't you done enough? You did your job and more! You took my mother, my heart, my home, and now my best friend! There's nothing left for you to destroy!" My screaming grew hoarse. I wasn't used to yelling this much.

Neither of us spoke a reply. Quaxo just gazed at the ground before him while I panted heavily, trying to control my temper. I finally sank back to my knees, unable to continue to process what was happening around me. "Just leave. Please…" I whispered, my voice cracked with sobs.

I listened as I heard the snow crunch underneath Quaxo's paws. The sound grew fainter as the tom left the clearing. Just as the footfalls were about to go out of earshot, they stopped. Then a whisper reached my ears, a whisper so faint that I wasn't even sure if I really heard it or made it up in my mind.

"I will wait here. As long as you need."

After that, all sounds left the clearing. I made a brave glance up to make sure that Quaxo had indeed left. He was gone, and the small trace that he did leave, his paw prints, were slowly being erased as the wind blew drifts around to fill in the indentations.

I allowed another wave of sobs to consume me as stared at the collar that lay lifeless in the middle of the clearing. It was now dull and haunting, a reminder of what had been. But I couldn't bring myself to touch it, let alone pick it up. I wasn't ready to feel the warmth that signified how close it had been to my heart. It wasn't fair. It was like he took my anger as a challenge. After all he had torn away from me, he was now taking the one place that had been my safe haven. If he was here, I couldn't come back. There was no promise that I would be able to withstand my feelings for him again. I wasn't going to take that chance and he didn't deserve that chance. I can't return to my clearing.

I stayed in the fetal position for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't move my body. I couldn't think a single thought. I really had no idea how much time past as I stared at the ground, dead to the world.

I was finally brought out of my trance as a pink light began to tint the snow around me. I glanced up with teary eyes to see the sun on the horizon. I shook my head and ran a shaky paw through my headfur. I had had been depressed enough. Quaxo didn't even deserve this much emotion from me. I had mourned him enough.

I stood up, and without a backward glance at the collar or my clearing, left my soiled sanctuary. There was nothing left for me there anymore. My present and my future rested with the Jellicles back in the main part of the Junkyard.

As I approached, I could hear the yowls and moans of pain mixed with despair. I slowed my stride, worried about my welcome. I couldn't help but feel that part of this was my fault. I had been so close to Quaxo, I should have picked up on something. I shouldn't have let myself be so blinded…

I cautiously stepped into the clearing, making sure to avoid any eyes the glanced in my direction. I wasn't ready to meet their accusations and judgments. I found a spot on the ground out of the way of the busy clearing and silently sat down. I surveyed the scene before me, taking in commotion.

Off to the side, Jerrie and Teazer sat on the TSE car, making sure that both were okay. They were the only family that each of them had left, and therefore of the upmost importance to each other.

A small crowd of cats gathered around a junk pile at the other end of the clearing. While many had wounds of their own, they all seemed to be concerned with one cat in the middle. I craned my head to the side, trying my best to get a look at the cat that everyone was desperate to comfort. In the middle of the crowd a forlorn looking Skimbleshanks stood gently holding a distressed Jennyanydots. I couldn't see her face since it was buried into Skimble's shoulder, but I could tell from the violent movement of her shoulders that she was crying.

I had to quickly look away. I could watch anymore of the grieving mother, not without losing it myself. I didn't deserve to cry and mourn like she did; she and her family were innocent. I was tainted with guild.

Just then my ears picked up the sound of muffled voices and swiveled to my right to try and decipher their words. My head soon followed my ears as I turned to see who was talking in such hushed tones. Standing outside of Quaxo' old den, Alonzo and Munkustrap stood close together, heads bent together in a hushed conversation.

"I just thank Everlasting Cat that Deuteronomy went home. I don't know if we would have survived while trying to protect him. We barely survived protecting ourselves." Munk really did have a look of relief on his face as he tenderly licked a small wound on his arm.

Alonzo tried his best to give a reassuring smile. "Of course we would've Munk. We will always have the advantage of knowing this yard like the back of our paw."

Munk nodded and gave a grateful nod. I could tell that neither Alonzo nor Munk believed those words, but it was nice to pretend.

After a few moments of silence, Munk nodded towards the opening to the pipe. "Did you find anything?

Alonzo gave a shrug as he glanced towards the circle of cats surrounding Jenny. He quickly turned back to Munk with a pained expression on his face. If there was one thing that Alonzo hated the most, it was seeing his tribe, his family, in pain. "Behind the large box of books he has, there is a small tunnel that leads through the piles and out of one of the walls of the junk yard. It's probably how he met with Mac under our radar."

Munk nodded solemnly. "That's probably how he escaped during the fight too…"

I felt my claws begin to prick my paw pads as I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. How many times had I gone to visit Quaxo and heard something heavy move? How many times did a book fall as I called for him? Quaxo always told me had nightmares. I now knew the real reason that he always looked tired. Was everything he told me a lie?

I stood up with determination as began to march over towards Munkustrap and Alonzo. I was determined to tell them that Quaxo was still in the junk yard. As I approached, I was greeted with suspicious looks. At least Munk tried to hide his suspicion. Alonzo had not problem facing me with complete disdain. He even let a little his escape his lips before he was silenced by a warning glance from Munk.

I stood defiantly before the two. Even though I hated being greeted so negatively, just like any other cat, I had to understand where they were coming from. My mistake had placed their families and homes in danger. I did not deserve much better.

"What do you want?" Alonzo shot at me as he stared me straight in the eyes, as if daring my to try something stupid.

It hit me how much those four words can hurt when uttered from someone close to you. And I had said them so viciously to Quaxo. His pained eyes entered my mind as I recalled our meeting. Even when he wasn't in front of me, his eyes still held the same spell that would haunt me for the rest of my days. I knew that my eyes must now reflect the same pain. I couldn't bring myself to tell the two protectors what my original intent had been. Maybe somewhere, I had hurt Quaxo enough. Maybe he was in enough pain with the guilt that I also could sense in his eyes.

I quickly glanced down at my paws, now unsure on what to do. Since I had suddenly decided to chance my course, I was left without anything to say. "I-I j-just wanted to make sure that everyone… that you all… that things were o-okay." I knew it was a lame statement, but I wasn't exactly full of wit at the moment.

I glanced up as Alonzo stepped forward, teeth bared. "Does everything look okay?" He snarled quietly, making sure not to draw other's attention.

I was taken aback; Alonzo had never approached me with such animosity. Just a few hours ago we had been friends, sharing secret smiles. I wasn't sure how to respond.

"Well it isn't. Thanks to that traitor you allowed in."

My fur bristled at the accusation that I was Quaxo's accomplice. I began to show my teeth as well, even though I knew it was wrong. I knew that Alonzo's anger was directed towards Quaxo, but I was the only one there to direct his anger at. It wasn't fair of me to get so angry, but it was as equally unfair for him to turn it towards me in the first place.

"I don't appreciate your insinuations!" I hissed back, my voice just as low and deadly as his. I then felt the tears begin to accumulate. Here they were again. I was just so angry. I didn't want Alonzo to think he had gotten to me, or that I was trying to play the victim.

Munkustrap took a step forward and placed a gentle paw on Alonzo's shoulder. Nothing else needed to be said as the situation was instantly diffused.

Alonzo immediately brought his paws up to his temples and gave himself a quick message, trying to calm himself down. "Look Vik, I'm sorry." He mumbled into his paws, refusing to look me in the eye. "It's just- I'm so tired and angry. I-I know you would never…"

He didn't need to finish. I placed and understanding paw on his arm. I tried to give him my best smile through the tears and the anger. He really meant well. All he cared about was the tribe and his family. How could I hate him for that? I am sure had our roles been switched, I would have acted exactly the same way.

He finally met my eyes and returned a small smile. Small though it may have been, it was a genuine Alonzo smile. I hadn't lost him entirely. The huge relief that that gave me added more comfort to my smile.

Munk put his other paw on Alonzo's other shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, as if praising a small child. He was probably happy that Alonzo had quelled his anger instead of releasing it. I was grateful for that as well. Munk then turned towards me and nodded towards another side of the clearing. "Thank you for checking on us. But you might want to go Jenny's medical den. There is a young tom in there who, if he is awake, I am sure would like to see you." Munk's voice was low and strained. He was clearly tired. However, I could not ignore the genuine tone in his voice telling me that every word he said was true.

My whole body perked up at the news. It couldn't be. Was Plato alive? I couldn't move from my spot, staring at Munk as if asking him the question that began racing through my mind.

Alonzo looked up from the ground and with another smile, gave a slight nod.

That was all I needed. I spun on my heel and took off towards the medical den. I didn't deserve such blessings, but I wasn't going to take them for granted.

As I neared the entrance of the den, I stopped. I could hear soft sobs coming from inside the den. I wasn't sure who it could be since Jenny and Skimble were still out in the clearing, but I didn't want to interrupt anything. I stopped just outside of the door to try and discover what was going on and if it was okay for me to enter.

I heard Jelly's voice through the curtain as she consoled whoever it was crying. It made sense, with her own son in the need of medical attention, Jenny probably wasn't mentally well enough to perform whatever needed to be done. Jelly was the second best healer that the tribe had.

"There, there dear." She purred in that soothing voice that had comforted me thousands of times through the years.

"But why Addie?" The small voice mumbled through hiccups.

That was Jem! What was she doing in the den and why was she talking about Addie? I thought Plato was in the medical bed.

"Fights have casualties." Jelly continued to purr. I could imagine her hugging Jem firmly while gently rubbing her back. "I think he will be fine. But we must be quiet, his brother and he needs rest."

So they were both in serious condition. How could have I been so naïve? I was stupid to think that Plato would be the only one injured by the battle. Poor Jenny, two kits on the brink of the heavyside layer.

Poor Jem. She had loved Addie so much. I had to understand that I wasn't the only one hurting.

Jem continued as she tried her best to fight her hiccups. "I d-didn't even g-get to tell him h-how I felt. I th-think I love him J-Jelly. I was g-going to tell him l-last night. It's not fair!"

My heart broke as I listened to the destroyed queen's lament. Addie had to be okay. I wasn't sure why, but something told me that Jem wouldn't be the same if he didn't.

I couldn't bring myself to enter the den. Not yet.

As I waited outside, I began to think. Plato had been happy that he hadn't told Cetty his true feelings while Jemima was almost destroyed by the same fact for her and Admetus. Was there no real justice? I had been able to tell my love of my feelings, and look what it got me: heartbreak and betrayal. _That_ wasn't fair. Jem or Plato should have somehow been able to convey their feelings to the ones they loved. Their love was pure. It would have lasted. If not for me conveying my love, the tribe might have actually discovered Quaxo's secret, and Jem and Plato could have been happier than I am. That's for sure.

The hiccups had subsided and is sounded as if Jem had calmed down. I realized just how badly I wanted to see my best friend. I needed to know that he was going to be okay. As long as he was alive, I would never feel as alone as I had felt in the past couple of hours. I never wanted to feel that chasm again. I took a deep breath to garner my courage and put on a calm face. With that final breath, I pushed the curtain aside and walked into the medical den.


	13. Keep Me From Standing

**Chapter 13: Keep Me From Standing**

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back! And super excited! Thanks so much for being patient and sticking with me! It means so much! I really am sorry that this took so long. I have like the next five chapters outlined (I did utilize my time between classes!), I just am finding the time to type them all out! Really, I can't emphasize enough how much it means that you guys stuck with me! Anyways, enough rambling, on to the story!**

**Even though I tried so hard, still don't own cats! Oh, and I don't own the song by Kenny Loggins either. **

Even though I had prepared myself for the silence, my heart still felt a pang of pain as no smiles and giggles greeted my entrance. I timidly lifted my eyes to the pair of cats that sat in the middle of the small medical room. Jem sat timidly on a stool with Jelly's comforting arms wrapped securely around her. Her small paws grasped Jelly's fur desperately as her whole body continued to shake.

Our eyes met and the tension grew as we became focused only on each other. I saw Jem's fur begin to bristle as her eyes took on a glint to them that I had never seen there before. As she slowly began to bare her teeth, I realized that the glint was one of anger; something I had thought was foreign to the innocent young kit.

Her eyes continued to spark as she gently pushed a concerned Jelly back. "What are you doing here?" Jem hissed.

The silence ensued as I simply stared back in bewilderment. I didn't know what to do. I hade never seen Jem look so mad, and I couldn't think what she was so angry about. My mouth grew dry and my voice refused to work. It was as if seeing Jem in such a furious mood had terrified me. Whatever it was that had made the gentle queen-kit mad must have been serious, for I had never seen her angry, let alone this angry.

Jelly slowly stood up, holding her paws out as if trying to diffuse a fight. "Well hello, Vik, darling. H-how have you been? I haven't seen you all night?"

I could tell that Jelly was keeping a silent watch on Jem out of the corner of her eye. I was still so confused as to why she seemed to believe that I was in some sort of danger.

A sudden yowl interrupted my quiet observation, causing me to jump back as my hair stood on end. "I _said_ why are you here! What _right_ do you have to even take one step inside this tent!"

Both jelly and I stood in other shock. Just like I had never seen Jem angry, I had never heard her yell. I didn't eve know that she knew how to. I hesitantly stepped forward, trying my best to will my fur to smooth itself; I didn't want to look confrontational. "What do you mean?" I asked as calmly and softly as I could manage through my surprise and fear.

Jem's paws clenched into a fist as she released another hiss, baring her sharp teeth. "You know what I mean." Her voice was now low and deadly. I think I preferred her yelling.

I mutely shook my head, insisting on my ignorance.

That response did not win my any sympathy. If anything, it made her angrier as I saw her infuriated face take on a red tint. "You-_YOU_ brought that traitor into the tribe! Look at what he did!" she spat as she flung her arms out at her side.

I realized that she was indicating me to look past her, to witness only a fraction of the damage that the fight had done. I did as I was told. On one side of the petite kit, in a darker corner of the room was a low-sitting plank of wood resting on top of a few stacks of books. Resting peacefully on the plank was a dark gray and white tom; if I didn't know that I was in the medical tent, I would have thought that the tom was sleeping. I quickly recognized the cat to be Admetus; even when unconscious, he always seemed to have a smile playing at the corner of his lips. It was a morbid thought, but it fit his character so well. And somehow, that hinting shade of a smile told me that he would be okay, he had to be. My eyes scanned across the room, continuing to look past Jem. The floor was littered with stained bandages and open medicine bottles; one could definitely tell that a war had occurred.

My gaze rested on the other cot that stood silently at the other end of the room. I squinted my eyes at its occupant before taking another sweeping glance over the room, ending back on the second cot. Laying in utter silence on the cot was a brown and copper tom with white spots. I thought Plato was supposed to be here. Was there another room? Who was this strange cat? I took a single step forward as I tried to get a better look at the unfamiliar tom. I gasped and quickly retreated as one paw shot to my chest as the other quickly covered my mouth. I fought the tears that immediately began to flow from my eyes. The tom wasn't brown and copper, it was Plato, and his white and copper fur had been stained with blood. It was a gruesome sight and I quickly looked away. I hadn't even recognized my friend. A wave of guilt washed over me. I fought the guilt as much as I could, but I could tell I was powerless to it, I was drowning.

My tear-filled eyes turned back to Jem's furious ones as I couldn't even try and face Jelly. Jem was right. I was the one who had introduced Quaxo to everyone. I was the one who had continually been by his side and supported him. If I had been more observant, I could have possibly prevented everything. I even knew that he had been working for Macavity, and yet I still turned a blind eye…

"No!" Jem spat, taking another step closer. "I said to look, not glance. This is all because of you! I want you to really look at, to understand. You can't run away anymore, just like before!"

I shook my head as the tears continued to flow. I didn't want to hear anymore, her words only rang truth. I didn't want to see anything anymore, all the images before me only hurt my heart. "I-I didn't do anything…"

Jem took another step forwards as I saw her paws begin to shake again. "That's right! You did _nothing_! There had to have been some signs, some hints, _something_! But you didn't do anything! Even when you saw how hurt Plato, _your best friend_, was, you simply ran away! You can't even face the consequences of your own inactivity!"

A new kind of silence pervaded the air. I couldn't argue with Jem. She was right. Even though I had not actively done anything, I had allowed my passivity to bring havoc to the tribe. I had never really had to face the consequences of my actions. The tribe had always lived a relatively peaceful life, and the gravest consequences I had ever endured were simple slaps on the wrist for staying out past curfew and similar transgressions.

My silent acceptance wasn't enough for Jem though, as her fury seemed to mount. She took another step closer to me so that we were only a few inches apart. Her breathing was labored as she obviously tried to quell the rage that was bubbling inside her. He voice was now a whisper as she growled through gritted teeth, "And even after all of that, you think you have the _right_ to come in here? The _right _to care? How dare you!" And with her last statement, I felt a sudden sting in the side of my face as my head was forced to the side. I let out a feint hiss as new tears of pain sprung from my eyes.

I timidly turned my head back to look at Jem. Her paw was raised and rested across her body. I realized that the small queen had struck me. My mouth was open in shock, which now mirrored hers. Jem glanced from me to her paw and back to me. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if trying to say something but nothing came out. Tears began to flow down her face, and I could tell that she hadn't meant to hit me, but I couldn't form any words to respond to her action. I deserved to be smacked; did I even have the right to forgive her?

Her guilt-ridden eyes took hold of mine for a bit longer before turning towards Jelly. I didn't know how Jelly reacted because I couldn't tear my gaze away from the grieving kit before me. After a few moments of silent conversation with Jelly, Jem let out a sob as she ran past me and out of the den.

With her exit, I allowed my paw to gingerly reach up and rub my stinging cheek. I felt a soft but strong paw take hold of mine and pull it away from my face. I blinked away a few more tears to see Jelly intently examining my injury. "No harm done. The redness will go away soon." She purred before wrapping me in a hug.

I couldn't bring myself to hug her back, but I gladly welcomed the reassuring gesture.

Jelly began to sing that song she had always sung for me. "When you feel afraid, when you lose your way, I'll find you. Just try to smile and dry your eyes…" She continued to sing and I let the melody take me away from everything around me.

As Jelly held the last note, she pulled herself away and wiped a single tear off of my face. I gave a weak, grateful smile and a quick sniffle. I murmured my thanks and then gave her a quick hug before gently holding her at an arms length away from me. I couldn't allow myself to be swallowed up by Jelly's comforting embrace. I had to listen to Jem, I had to face the consequences of my actions or inactions.

My gaze remained glued to the almost unrecognizable tom lying on the cot in the corner. It took all my willpower to keep myself from looking away from the copper and white fur stained by the rust of dried blood. I quickly crossed my paws try and suppress their shaking.

Jelly glanced over her shoulder towards the object of my attention. She released a sigh and placed a gentle paw on my shoulder, slowly urging me towards the invalid. "I think he is going to pull through." I could hear the smile I her words, though I couldn't look away from the peaceful face. "I promise Vik, dear. I _know_ he's going to be okay. Admetus and Plato just need their rest."

There was a pause as I couldn't bring myself to take a single step closer to the blood-covered tom. My mouth grew dry and my stomach became uneasy. I tried to swallow a few times, but my throat seemed to close up.

Jelly gave my shoulder another quick squeeze before another gentle push. "I like to think that when one's in a kind of comatose state, they can still hear us. I believe that it can even help. Somehow, I believe that they can sense that someone cares. It's been a little quiet here…I think Plato might be a little lonely."

I didn't know if Jelly really meant those words or if she was trying to comfort me and give me something to do. Whatever her reasoning, I was grateful for her words and found the courage that I needed to cross the room.

I gently lowered myself onto a small cinderblock next to the makeshift bed and just stared at the cat before me. I couldn't even tell where the worst of the wounds was; his whole body was covered in the dried blood. However, as I took a closer look, I found hundreds of minute scratches covering his body. My heart sank even further into my stomach as I could only imagine the bigger injuries hiding underneath his fur.

After a few moments of utter stillness, I realized I had to allow myself to really look at Plato's face. I was afraid of what I might see, or what I might not see. I was terrified that his face might match his body. I couldn't even recognize his body from afar, what if his face was beyond recognition as well? I wasn't sure that my heart could take that pain.

I finally mustered the courage I needed and slid my gaze up towards the face that had always greeted me with a gentle smile. I released the breath I had been holding and even allowed myself a feint smile. I could still see some small scratches across his face and his eyes and the side of his head seemed heavily bruised, but it was still the gentle and kind face I had grown up with. There was no pain present anywhere in his features, it was almost as if he was experiencing a pleasant dream. The cat before me was the same cat that had played leap frog with me in the medical den, that had stayed up all night with me when I couldn't sleep, that knew all my secrets, it was the exact same cat that had always welcomed me with a smile and a laugh. I was silly think that I had somehow lost him.

With shaking paws I reached out and gently scooped Plato's limp paw up. My tears began to flow renewed as I felt the warmth radiate from his single paw. It wasn't feverish, but a healthy warmth. I didn't know why, but I had been terrified that they would be clammy and cold.

I opened my mouth and tried to convey how happy I was that he was really okay. However, with my dry, closed throat and my tears, all that became audible was a small squeak. I stifled a small giggle and shook my head. I glanced back up towards the center of the room, but Jelly had gone. On silent paws, she had left the room allowing Plato and I a personal moment, and I was grateful. I knew that I really didn't deserve this small moment of happiness, but I needed it so badly.

I gave Plato's paw a gentle squeeze, as I couldn't do anything but look down at his peaceful face. I hoped that Jelly was right and he could sense I was there and that I cared. I didn't trust my voice, but it was comforting to think that he was maybe a little less lonely.

After a few minutes, my voice had come back, but I couldn't breach any serious subject. I told Plato about the weather, about my favorite dance routine that I wanted to try for the next ball, I sang for him my favorite songs, and I even began making hypothetical plans for us when he got better and out of the medical den. I made sure to steer clear of any mention of Quaxo or the past evening. I couldn't even bring myself to apologize for what had happened. I knew that if I even tried, I would have broken down.

As the day disappeared into evening, I ran out of things to discuss with Plato, and we slipped back into that silence that we had always been comfortable with. I laid my head next to his side, though I never let go of my friends paw.

I heard a loud swishing noise as someone entered the den. I glanced up to see Cassandra and Bumbalurina enter the den wrapped up in conversation. I immediately closed my eyes. I didn't want to face the two queens; I didn't want to confront the animosity I knew they had for me. I put all my focus on making sure that my breathing was calm and steady, as if I was asleep.

I heard the conversation come to an abrupt halt as I could only assume that the two noticed me at the bedside. I heard hushed whispers begin, and as hard as I tried, I could only pick up hushed names, with mine mentioned the most. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding back the tears as I felt my grip tighten around Plato's paw.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard the older queens leave the room. I slowly opened my eyes, peeking through my squinted eyelids; I made sure that the two were in fact gone. Once I was sure that they were gone, I quickly stood up. I realized my tightened grip on Plato's paw and quickly released it as I held my paws to my chest. I needed to do something, and I needed to do it now. I had to find something that would distract me from the rage and shame warring within me.

I rushed over to a corner and picked up a small cup and clean rag. I found the bin of clean water that was always present in the den and dunked the cup in, scooping out some clean water. I strode back to Plato's side and quickly began cleaning the blood off of his fur. The water in the cup as well as the rag quickly became a rust color as I made only a small improvement in the color of the tom's fur. I focused all my emotions and attention on making the cream and the white become more prominent than the russet red. It was as if I was trying to erase the dirty sign of war from Plato's innocence.

Throughout the day, more and more cats came into the den; some came for medical supplies and some to visit the invalids. I had decided to keep my head up as I diligently tended to my task. I never lifted my head to meet any of the judging eyes or the harsh whispers. It took all my courage just to act like their hushed tones did not phase me, asking me to face them was too much.

But I couldn't argue with them, because they were right. This was all really my fault, and while I deserved everything that happened, Plato and Addie did not. I found myself welcoming their presences and verbal barbs. I needed a constant reminder that I deserved every punishing word and look. I had managed to avoid any bodily pain, and I it was only fair that I felt something. I needed more. I needed them to keep me from standing and holding my head high ever again. A smile never belonged on my features.

The day was ending and Plato looked like himself again. I gently placed the rag in the cup as Coricopat and Tantomile left the den. I let out a sigh as I deemed my task complete. I wiped off the sweat that had accumulated on my brow as I admired my work. Except for the obvious scratches and bruises, Plato did not appear to be a battle weary cat; not a drop of dry blood remained on his fur.

I allowed myself a great yawn as I realized that my eyelids seemed to grow heavier by the second. By looking through the flap of the den, I could only tell that the sun had set and the day was done. I had no idea how late into the evening it actually was. I decided that a small nap couldn't hurt my vigil that badly, and I felt that I really needed it. I crossed my paws next to Plato's side and rested my head silently. My eyes closed and I was sound asleep.

My eyes fluttered open and I took a moment to allow them to focus. I kept my head perfectly still as I strained my ears as I tried to figure out what had woken me up. If it was another visitor, I was just going to pretend to stay asleep. However, I couldn't hear anyone moving about the den.

Just as I was about to give up and assume that a simple dream had awoken me, a felt a rustling on the cot. I nestled my head back into my paws, it was only Plato's movement that had woken me up. I let out another yawn, readying myself to sleep again.

Just then, the thought that I had so causally brushed off hit me with full force. Plato was moving! He wasn't just lying comatose on the cot like he had been all day. My head shot up as I jumped to my feet. I leaned cautiously over the bed staring intently into the face of my kittenhood friend.

Plato's face was creased in a slight grimace, similar to one that a small kitten gives when you try to wake it up. He continued to wriggle on the bed as he slowly lifted a paw to his face.

I began to giggle as my paws shot to my mouth in disbelief. He was waking up! He was going to be okay!

His copper eyes fluttered open as he looked hazily around the room as he tried to focus his eyes. His copper orbs landed on mine and held them steadily.

I watched as the recognition entered into his eyes and a feint smile lit his features.

"Vik…" he purred as he reached out to me.

I quickly grabbed his paw and held it between both of mine. "Yes, Plato! It's me." It was all I had managed to mumble between my tears and small smiles of joy.

Plato struggled to sit up as his grasp on my paws became desperate. "I need to talk to you."

**A/N: Really guys! Thanks so much for sticking with me! This chapter was supposed to have a lot more action in it, but this chapter just became so long. Sorry it's so angsty and I hope it's not boring! And I promise to all the Mistoria fans, it won't be too long until our star-crossed lovers meet again (though I won't tell you what will happen when the meet). It was supposed to be the end of this chapter, but something to look forward to. :)**


	14. Make it Right

**Chapter 14: Make it Right**

**A/N: Oh my gosh guys! I am so sorry! Summer started and I just got slammed with everything. The sad thing is that, for the most part I have the story mapped out. I just haven't found the time to type them out. I really feel horrible. You guys have been so great and you really deserve more regular updates and I am really going to try and crank these out. I really just feel so bad. But I must thank you for your loyalty and sticking with me. As I said, you guys really deserve better. So I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: You would think that this huge gap in updates meant that I found a way to own Cats, but that is not true. I am just busy and sorry. **

I tried my best to quickly suppress the overwhelming joy that consumed me, but I couldn't stop the tears of elation or the juvenile giggles that were erupting out of me. I just couldn't help it. Plato! Plato was alive! Out of everything I had lost, he was the one light that illuminated the brightest and warmed me with its glow.

Plato tried his best to smile and take in my enthusiasm. I realized he was probably in some kind of pain, but I couldn't stop my celebration of his miraculous recovery.

After a few minutes of elated crying and giggling, I had calmed myself down enough that I only exhibited a giddy smile and shaky paws. I tenderly sat back down in my seat without breaking my grip on his paws. I never wanted to let go of my friend again. What if he slipped away again as soon as I let go? I still had to convince myself that everything was real.

Plato smiled, and I think he saw my shaking paws as he gently but securely placed he free paw on top of mine. With a gentle squeeze, he waited silently as if making sure I was done with my hysterics.

I disentangled one of my paws and deftly wiped a few last tears from my cheeks and gave a quick shake of my head to clear the jumble of emotions from my mind. I tried to begin the conversation multiple times, but I seemed to be at a loss for words. "Wh-…Plato…Yo-…" After multiple failed attempts, I settled with the most cliché thing to say. "I'm so glad you are okay Plato." Sure, it was boring and safe, but I really meant it.

Plato let out gentle chuckle as he relaxed on the bed and smiled up at the ceiling. "Me too." His soft purr began to reverberate through his chest. "That being said, we have to talk… about Quaxo." He turned his penetrating gaze towards me and stared at me with his piercing, unrelenting eyes.

I felt as if all the air had been punched out of my lungs and a sickening feeling began to build in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't where I was hoping this conversation would go, even though I had to admit it was a logical course.

I immediately removed my gaze from his and focused on the way in which our paws intertwined. I studied how the white of my fur bled into his cream and his russet spots further staining the innocent picture. I thought how unnatural the off-white looked against my white fur. I began thinking about what colors looked more natural when mixed with mine. I began to picture how beautiful a midnight black looked in contrast to my ivory snow. I instantly shook my head of the thought. "P-Plato! Please! I-I don't want to talk about him." My voice hissed just slightly in frustration with myself more than with him.

Silence filled the room and it was almost deafening. My ears felt like they were ringing just from the total lack of sound. There wasn't even a faint rustle from the world outside of the den. It was as if everything had just stopped and all the mattered was the two of us.

Plato finally broke the silence and his voice seemed tired and sad. "Look, I'm sorry Vik, but we have to."

I shook my head a weakly tried to disengage my paws. Luckily Plato had a weak but decent grip on me and kept my paws in place. "There's nothing to talk about." I spat, staring at the ground. "He-He betrayed me… He betrayed us, the tribe! I never want to talk or even think about him again!" My paws began to shake again, but this time because of the rage that consumed me. I quickly became exhausted as I allowed all my emotions to overcome me. I turned my gaze back to Plato and I pleadingly squeezed his paws. "I thought I lost you. I-I don't want to talk about the cause…please."

Plato began to struggle as he tried to lift himself up and off the cot. I became panicked as I tried to settle him down.

"I have to go and find him!" Plato mumbled as he continued to struggle against the soft pressure I had begun placing on his chest as I tried to set him back down on the cot.

"Plato!" I screeched, worried that he would hurt himself. "Listen to me! I'm sorry!" The tears began stream down my face again as more and more guilt began to pile up in the back of my mind. However, it felt so relieving to let those words slip from my mouth. It was as if a weight was lifted off my chest; a weight that I had brutally placed upon myself. On the other hand, releasing those words was a double-edged sword. Once they were freed, Plato was left to act on them. He could either destroy me or raise me up. I knew that if Plato forgave me I would somehow be able to stand again. However, if he refused my apology, I would be completely destroyed and unable to ever pull myself to my feet. I knew it had been a selfish act to say those words to Plato while avoiding everyone else. I knew that he would be the most likely to accept and forgive my transgressions. I would be lying if I hadn't admitted that that was a factor in my decision to blurt out what I had been thinking all day.

The words seemed to have calmed Plato down and he quietly settled down while creasing his features in puzzlement. He propped himself up on his elbow to face me and gently reached his paw out to wipe a single tear. After a moment of deep contemplation a kind smile broke his features and his brow relaxed as the puzzlement vanished. "Vik, there's nothing to be sorry for. Everything is okay."

I was stunned as I stared at him for a moment with my mouth hanging open in shock.

Plato let out a chuckle that I had thought I would never hear again. "You trying catch flies Vi-"

"Plato!" I yelled, interrupting him. My voice was high and shrill, but I tried my best to keep my voice low in almost a whisper. "How? How can you say that? Everything is _not_ okay! Others are hurt! And-and I let him do this to us! I should have seen some clue or _something_. I let him blind me with the illusion of love…"

I heard a disgusted snort and I sadly gazed into the stern face of my dear friend. There wasn't even a hint of the friendliness that had been there before. "Stop it Victoria."

I flinched as he used my full name.

"I don't want to hear those words again! Love is a-a very precious thing. I will not allow you or anyone else throw it aside so lightly! I would kill for a love like the one I saw between you two." His face softened as another tear was wiped from my cheek. "I need to tell you a secret Vik, I was jealous of you two. Really, I was. You two were so happy together. It was the kind of love that one only sees in storybooks. Whenever I saw you two together, I hoped that I could find a love that was even half of the one that you two shared. Whenever you were together, that jealousy burned within me. And the fact that others, and even you, can't appreciate what you had, what you _have_… I just can't stand it! I would die for what you had!" As Plato hissed his last sentence, he turned away, unable to look at me anymore.

"But Plato, it wasn't real… It was a one sided love. It became more of a blind crush." It was a weak argument, but I had to try and make Plato understand.

"Stop it!" he hissed back. As I shrank away from him, Plato seemed to realize the harshness in his voice and gave an apologetic sigh as he softened his voice again. "I am sorry Vik. It's just so frustrating. You have to try and understand. Sadness and loneliness; I know those aren't the feelings one hopes to have when falling in love. But I never want to forget and I never want you to forget the real happiness that you two shared, because that was _real._ I don't care what others tell you or you tell yourself. I need you to believe _me_. Love doesn't concern itself with what lies behind us or before us. All that matters is what is within us and what we do with those feelings. So tell me Vik, what do you really feel? What do you really want to do?"

I let my eyes close as I took a deep breath and settled my thoughts. Images flashed before my mind as Quaxo filled my head. Reason had no effect. I loved him too much, even though I thought it was wrong. When did I start loving him so much that I couldn't stand it?

I took quick, gasping breaths between the sobs that had begun to rack my body. I wanted to see him so badly I couldn't take it. But he had hurt people! Could I really go to him? Is that really what's best? Making 'myself' a priority? Aren't there things that should come even before that? It's not like I could stand on my own right now. I couldn't give anything back, but I should choose myself? I couldn't stand up on my own. I couldn't go any further, not all by myself.

My paws received a gentle squeeze that also commanded my attention. I opened my eyes and looked into the deep copper orbs before me. Plato was wise beyond his years and I realized that I needed his help now more than ever.

"Can I say what I meant to say from the beginning?"

I gave a weak nod. I could tell from his voice that I didn't really have an option anyways.

"Good. Now, as I said before, I would like to talk about Quaxo. Where is he?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "He's gone Plato. He betrayed the tribe and was pursued, but he got away…"

Plato's eyes shot wide open as he began to struggle to sit up for a second time. "You have to find him Vik! You have to!" Those two phrases were all he could say as he angrily shoved my arms away from him.

"Plato, stop it!" I yelled as I was sent into another panic. "You have to look out for your health!"

Plato shoved my paws away again, but collapsed onto the cot panting heavily. He looked exhausted, but he did not lose the look of urgency. "If I look out just for me, who is going to keep an eye out for you and Quaxo?" He panted, grimacing in pain.

I couldn't respond. I just sat and stared at the tom before me. There was nothing I could do to ease his pain. He just didn't understand. "Quaxo is gone." I said simply, assuming that would be the end of the conversation.

There was a bit of silence as Plato waited to catch his breath. Finally, he replied. "That's why you have to find him. You have to make things right Vik. _You_ have to."

"I don't understand."

Plato sighed as he opened his eyes and simply turned his head to face me. "Quaxo deserves better than this. He isn't the villain everyone has made him out to be. What I have been meaning to tell you is that…he saved me. Without his help, I certainly would have died."

What was Plato saying? "Stop joking Plato. This isn't funny…" I hissed, withdrawing my paws and holding them close to my chest.

"I'm not joking!" Plato replied sternly, staring at me with sincere eyes. "After you left, I was slipping in and out of consciousness. News came to the group surrounding me that Addie had been found under a junk pile. Much to mother's despair, I was deemed a hopeless case, and everyone left to help Addie out of the pile. At least that is what I gathered from the bits and pieces I was able to concentrate on. After a while, I gave up on myself and prepared myself to fall asleep, with no intention of waking up. But I suddenly felt this tingling sensation throughout my entire body. I thought that this surely was a strange way to die, but I couldn't say it was wrong, it's not like I had died before…"

I quickly interrupted as I became disgusted by all this talk of death. "Please, Plato, can we stop. I don't want to talk about this…"

He gave a stern shake of his head and cleared his throat to continue. "Have you already forgotten, I am telling you the story about how Quaxo saved my life. I will appreciate no more interruptions."

After I gave a reassuring nod, he continued. "Anyways, as I was saying, there was a strange tingling sensation filling my body. After a few moments I began to open my eyes, curious to see what the Heavyside Layer looked like. However, I was greeted with the blurry vision of two copper eyes set in a white face and framed in black. After a few moments to clear my vision, I realized that Quaxo was bent over me with concern filling his face. His coat seemed to sparkle from the magic that coursed through him, and I quickly realized it was coursing through me as well. That must have been the tingling sensation. I asked what he was doing here and he told be to be quiet, I needed my energy.

"He then went on to explain how he had cleared the pile off of Addie and that he should be alright. He then told me that he was going to give me enough energy for the others to come. All I had to do was try and sleep and preserve that energy. He stayed with me, holding my paw and sending that energy through me until he heard others approaching. He quickly fled. As soon as he released my paw, I passed out. The next thing I knew I woke up and you were sleeping on my arm. But I promise you that Quaxo saved Addie's life and mine. I don't know what happened, but I know he isn't a bad tom. We don't know the whole truth Vik. You need to find it out."

This was almost too much to process; all I could do was continually shake my head. Plato's story was too fantastical, too perfect. It was just what I wanted to hear, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. "If that's so, why didn't he just let himself get caught and tell the truth?"

Plato shook his head and rolled it back to face the ceiling. "I am sure he was scared. And I don't think anyone would have believed him. Did you believe him, I am sure he would have tried to tell you…"

I sat there silently as guilt began to burn deep in the pit of my stomach.

"If you wouldn't even listen to him, he wouldn't expect anyone else to…"

I let the weight of his words settle on me. That burning guilt only seemed to be fueled by the silence. I realized that I loved the magical tom, more than I could fully comprehend. I realized that my love may have blinded me to a few minute clues to his affiliation with Macavity, but if he really was the evil cat that I was trying to paint him as, I believe I would have noticed.

Then the real reason for my actions hit me. I was scared. I had been terrified of the feelings I had for him. I had always known that I loved Quaxo, but I was just scared that if I admitted that I loved him, my whole world would change. I knew deep down I had realized that I would love that tom no matter what. However, I fooled myself into thinking that since I thought he was a monster, I couldn't love him. But some dark part, deep I inside of me, told me that I still would have loved him, and that is what terrified me the most.

However, my heart grew lighter as I realized that my fears were for nothing. I let the joy break over me and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

My self-reflection was interrupted as Plato had more to add to his story. "So I want you to promise me to try your best to make this right, Vik."

I gave a coy smile as I let my joy get the better of me. I wanted to somehow give something back to Plato for everything that he has done for me. I knew now was probably not the best time to play little games, but I had to. It was the only way that I could think of to repay Plato for anything. "I promise, Plato, but on one condition." I kept my voice low trying to stress how important what I was saying was.

Plato's eyes shot over to me and his face became suspicious. His voice was low and dangerous; I clearly should have a put more playfulness in my voice. "This isn't a negotiation Vik."

I gave sigh and shook my head. That was really my fault. I should have played that better, I asked for that scolding. "I'm sorry Plato. I didn't mean it as a negotiation. I am a bit giddy now. However, I am serious. I want a promise out of you in return."

Plato narrowed his eyes but held his tongue as he waited for me to finish.

I didn't want to take his compliance for granted so I immediately continued. "I want you to promise me to make things right on your end as well." I clarified as I saw a look of confusion enter Plato's suspicious eyes. "Promise me that you will tell Cettie how you feel. We can't have any regrets." My voice lost its playfulness and became deadly serious. I may be playing a little game by demanding a promise in return, but the subject of my promise was a serious matter.

Plato seemed to release the breath that I didn't know he had been holding and let out a low chuckle. "I think I can do that. I do believe I have a new kind of perspective on life…I promise."

"That makes two of us." I purred, grasping his paw again.

Plato turned his head away from me and gave a big yawn. He slowly began to close his eyes without turning back towards me. "Well, Vik, I am getting sleeping. I think I'm going to rest now."

I nodded. "That's probably best."

Plato laughed again as he finally closed his eyes and didn't open them this time. "I was just wondering what you were going to do."

I cocked my head in puzzlement, though it's not like he could see me anyways.

"You know, with me asleep and taken care of, what are you going to do with all this free time you now have?" Plato then gave his crooked grin that had always been so endearing as he drifted off to sleep.

The full force of his words hit me as I realized what he meant. I didn't know if he knew or not, but I knew that Quaxo was still in the yard. He promised me. I squeezed the paw that was clasped between my two and whispered a quick thank you. I wasn't sure if he was awake and could hear me or not, but his grin seemed to broaden.

I quickly but quietly stood up and walked to the door of the den. I stopped right at the exit. I took a few steadying breaths. My head just began to spin from all the information it had processed.

After a few moments of silence, my head suddenly cleared and I knew what I had to do. I took off at full speed towards my clearing. The same clearing that I had recently sworn never to visit again was now the only location I wanted to be, I had to be. My heart began to beat faster and faster as I came closer to the clearing. He promised me he would wait; he had to be there. I was done doubting him. Even if he wasn't there, I would find Quaxo. I loved him. That's all there was to it. My feet couldn't carry me fast enough as the junkyard flashed by me.

I realized that at this point I couldn't tell the truth from the lies as they all began to blur together. I could only pray that his promise to wait was one of those truths.

**A/N: Guess who reunites in the next chapter! :D**


	15. Sparks

**Chapter 15: Sparks**

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks again for sticking with me for so long. I have just been so busy. The amount of times I had to sit down to write this is ridiculous. Everytime I could only get a paragraph or two in. I really hope you enjoy and I thank you so much for being patient with me. Just two jobs for the summer are draining me of my energy. Haha. That aside, I really hope you enjoy this! I believe this story is staring to come to a close. There's still a few more chapters, so never fear. I would try and give you an estimate, but I always end up expanding on things and one chapter turns into four. :D**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Cats! A new puppy, yes. A musical, no.**

It felt like my feet weren't even touching the ground as I took off at full speed towards my secret location. Quite a few times I had to take a quick step and disrupt my strides to catch myself from falling. My body longed to go faster than my feet could carry me. I heard faint shouts as other cats called out to me, but I turned a deaf ear. Luckily, the tribe did not forgive me as easily as Plato did, and no one followed to inquire about my actions.

I expertly wove my path through the piles while swiftly jumping over the new obstacles that were left over from the struggle. I had this path memorized, but never had its end location been as desired as it was now. Twice, I actually tripped over the debris sending me tumbling to the ground. However, each time, I expertly transformed my fall into a gymnastic-like tumble. I deftly gathered my feet back under me and continued my sprint, rarely losing any time in my mad dash.

My heartbeat quickened and my mind raced as I saw the entrance to the clearing race to meet me. My mind wanted me to slow down, telling me to mentally prepare myself; I shouldn't get my hopes up. My heart, on the other hand, spurred my feet to run faster because it knew that I would find Quaxo in that clearing, waiting with his gentle smile as always. I couldn't wait to run into his outstretched arms and feel his fur against my body. I would be reunited with my love and back where I was supposed to be: hand in hand.

I ran into the clearing coming to an abrupt stop. My eyes scanned the entire clearing as my smile began to fade. My heart became heavy as I felt my ears droop to the side of my head. I took a few tentative steps further into the clearing, not wanting to believe that it was actually empty.

I was glad that I took those steps, because they allowed me to see over the small hill in the middle of the clearing and see the spot in its entirety. At the far end, nestled into a small crevice created by a dilapidated bookshelf and a few cinderblocks, a small, black mass seemed to be moving in the shadows.

My smile returned tenfold and my ears perked up immediately. It had to be him. He was the only one who knew about this place. He was also the only black cat that I knew who was as small as the ball across the clearing. I trotted a few steps and opened my mouth to call out to Qauxo.

I quickly caught my greeting in my throat as I noticed the rhythmical movement of the small mass. The deep, steady breathing indicated that Quaxo was peacefully asleep. After all the torture and pain I put him through, I knew that Quaxo needed and deserved his rest. He deserved it more than anyone else in the tribe. After all I had taken from him, I figured the least I could do was let him have his dreams and rest.

I slinked up silently until I was only about half a stride away. I was unsure of what to do next. Just because I was ready to be with him again did not mean that he had forgiven me and was ready. In fact, he had every reason to never want to see me again. How many times had I doubted him? How many awful words were thrown at him? I couldn't even count the times that I failed to defend Quaxo and stand tall at his side. I don't even think I could, or would, forgive myself.

My emotions quickly stepped in. That was the difference between Quaxo and me. I was weak hearted and easily let my mind control my actions. Quaxo always acted with his heart; even every single one of his smiles came from the heart and were 100% genuine. I also wasn't as kind as my dear tom. I could always fool myself that I was the genteel and loving queen that I had always aspired to be, but I had to admit that was a selfish cat. My actions were generally done with my own interest in mind. My kindness was no different than giving cream to kittens to buy their friendship. Quaxo would forgive anyone for anything probably. He readily accepted everyone and their flaws, something that just didn't come as naturally to me. But I wanted that to change! I didn't want to keep living in such a selfish world. I wanted to grow up and learn to accept. I was done being self-centered. I wanted to learn to stand on my own instead of relying on the kindness of others. But I wasn't strong enough yet. I needed someone who believed in me more than I did so that I could learn to forgive myself, little by little.

My legs began to grow weak as I stood before such a kind tom. What if my actions were so horrible that even he couldn't forgive me? I wasn't sure that I could handle his rejection. I was terrified because if he couldn't find it in his hear to forgive me, then my actions were truly despicable. How would I ever be able to face myself again?

I hesitatingly took another step forward ready to wake Quaxo up. It wasn't as if I became stronger, or that something had changed. I was still shaking, but I didn't want to let those fears stop me. What was most important was that I wanted to rise above my weaknesses and fears.

Just as I bent over to shake Quaxo awake, a shimmer caught my eye. I cocked my head to try and discern what this hidden treasure was. From the combination of continually moving my head with the growing summer light, I soon found the source of the glimmer securely held within Quaxo's clasped paw, against his chest.

Quaxo shifted his weight revealing the treasure he held dearly. I gasped as I saw a familiar jewel clutched over his heart. I had admired those diamonds many times in my own vanity against my own chest. It was one of the bigger crystals from the collar that Quaxo had given me. A smile lit up my face as another object caught my eye. Grasped within his other paw, lying protectively at his side, a pale pink ribbon with a faux diamond missing from the center.

My spirits rose as I drank in the sight of an object that had been so dear to me still so dear to him. I shook my head as my smile broadened. I kept telling myself to stop doubting Quaxo, but I needed to start acting on it. If I truly wanted Quaxo back in my life, I needed to give him the best, just like he deserved. I knew that I could do it since I truly believed that he deserved.

With my new confidence filling my body, I reached my paw out and gently placed it on his arm. I froze, unable to finish the shaking motion that I had started. Quaxo's fur was freezing! He must have been sitting out in this clearing all night. The thought broke my heart. Quaxo would never back out on a promise. And there was not way I should have ever questioned his love for me. Every motion, every look, every touch, conveyed the passion he had. I only hoped that I could show him a fraction of that passion.

My happiness quickly turned to worry as I began to shake him awake. The snow had almost fully melted, but it was still cold outside. There was a chance that he was not only sleeping, but in pain and need of medical attention. I couldn't do much, but in that moment, I vowed that I would do anything to help Quaxo.

The petite body began to stir as those copper eyes that had always captivated me began to lethargically open. His eyes seemed hazy at first, but he immediately focused on me. A small, charming smile graced his face as he raised his paw from his side to my face.

I immediately moved my head to meet his paw as it slipped into his cupped palm. It felt as if they were meant to be together and it was as if the two were naturally meant to be in contact.

Quaxo blinked a few more times as his smile widened. "I don't even mind if I'm dreaming…" He purred as he put pressure against my cheek, rubbing it softly.

I felt the diamonds begin to press into my skin as the their cold exterior sent chills down my spine. But I refused shy away from the slight discomfort. When was a better time to act on behalf of Quaxo than now?

I lifted my paw to mirror his. I felt the heat leave my paw and flow into his cheek as his purr deepened. I began to purr in response to his. I quickly lifted my other paw up to his paw against my cheek and gave it a squeeze. I felt more heat flee my body as I created another pathway between my warm body and his freezing one.

A blissful silence ensued as I began to imagine we were back to the way things were.

However, the bliss was quickly interrupted as Quaxo's eyes shot open and he yanked his paws away as if they had been burned. I heard a small gasp as I could tell that he realized he was in fact _not_ dreaming.

Quaxo sprang to his feet as the diamonds and the ribbon tumble to the ground. He took a few steps back and pressed his palms against the wall behind him. He looked like a cat that had been cornered by a peke. Even his face fit the part as it was filled with terror and a strange sadness.

"I-I am so sorry! Please!" He stammered as I stood dumbstruck at his reaction. I didn't understand what I had done to make him so terrified of me. I figured that he had every right to be angry, but I wasn't expecting scared. It took me a few moments to even comprehend what he was apologizing for.

I looked down at my feet in shame. The glint of the gems caught my eyes. I slowly crouched down to scoop up the shimmering stones and ribbon into my paws. Just as slowly, I stood back up and held out my cupped treasure to Quaxo in supplication.

I deftly interrupted his repeated apologies. "Quaxo! Please, stop. I can't listen to any more apologies, it breaks my heart…" I knew that it was a selfish request, but I meant it. The hole in my heart that had been there since I had left Quaxo, the same hole that I had always denied, began to reappear as I gazed upon his saddened face and his pain filled apologies.

Quaxo immediately shut his mouth and eyed me warily. He didn't make any move towards me and the fear lessened, but did not fully leave his eyes. "No, no. This can't really be this easy…" he mumbled, keeping his eyes on my paws. "No! I have to do something to show you I'm sorry!" He took a step towards me as a sense of urgency filled his eyes.

I shook my head as I tried to cock my head to get a better look at his enchanting copper eyes. I couldn't believe that he thought he had to do something to make this right. He had always done the right thing; I was the one who had to rectify my actions. How could I make him understand?

I finally gave up on trying to meet his eyes and let my gaze fall to the destroyed collar.

An inspiration suddenly entered my mind as a smile broadened on my face. I extended my arms even further, pushing to broken accessory towards Quaxo's chest. "Fine. There is one thing you have to do."

Quaxo's eyes shot up to meet mine as they filled with a kind of pleading. He was begging me to give him any task so that he could prove himself.

I jingled my cupped paws a second time and let my eyes dance between the collar and his eyes. "I want you to fix this. This collar meant a lot to me. It was given to me by a dear tomfriend of mine and I was stupid and broke it. Do you think I could fix it?"

Quaxo cautiously cupped his paws under mine. I shivered again as it felt like sparks radiated through my body. This wasn't any kind of sparks created by magic, but merely by the passions flowing between us.

Quaxo eventually broke the silence and my concentration on our touching paws. "Is that really all? Just fix a collar?" He was in utter disbelief.

My features quickly changed into that of a stern queen scolding a young kitten. "It's not just 'a collar' is _the_ collar that means more to me than anything in the world." I took another step closer to Quaxo, keeping our paws cupped between us. We couldn't get any closer without some form of discomfort caused by our paws. "I would be most grateful if you could fix it…"

A true smile finally broke into Quaxo's features as he nodded while tears seemed to mist his eyes.

I felt a new kind of static course through my body. I couldn't describe the feeling. The closest thing that I could describe the sensation to would be electricity, but it wasn't quite that. There was this ancient, mysterious feeling coursing through me along with the energy. It was as if passions and memories and emotions were running through me along with raw power.

I noticed that Quaxo was staring down intently at our cupped paws. I followed his gaze and watched. Sparks had begun to arc all around our makeshift bowl; they jumped everywhere. It was as if we were holding golden crickets. The diamonds and ribbon began to glow as well. The light grew brighter and brighter, as if a sun was forming in the middle of my paws.

I became nervous as the sparks began to jump up my arms and the little star began to engulf my paws entirely. I instinctively tried to pull my paws away. As soon as my muscles tensed in preparation to recoil, Quaxo's paws closed securely but carefully on my own, keeping me from removing my paws.

While the magic still scared me a bit, Quaxo's secure grip seemed to provide a comfort to me. I no longer felt a need to remove my paws. I somehow instinctively knew that no harm would befall me.

Quaxo's brow furrowed as the sun grew almost blinding. I quickly closed my eyes and turned my face away. The light was too bright and I just I couldn't look at it anymore.

The sensation that had been coursing through my body began to subside and eventually ceased all together. I slowly opened my eyes and turned my face back towards Quaxo. He was looking back at me beaming like satisfied kitten. I couldn't take my eyes away from his smiling face. I couldn't help but feel that this was the way things were meant to be, before I had messed everything up.

After a few moments, Quaxo gave my paws and gentle shake. I suddenly remembered what we had been doing. I quickly let my eyes fall to where the small star had been. Sitting prettily in my palms was a perfect, unscathed diamond collar. I slowly lifted the collar up by one end of the ribbon, allowing it to slowly unwind into the air like a rare, beautiful snake. Each diamond was securely attached to the satin, pink fabric and glinted in the light beautifully showing not a single flaw.

I couldn't hold back my smile any longer. I flung my arms around Quaxo's neck and hugged him as hard as I could. I buried my face into his neck and tried to decipher my way through tears of joy and giggles of giddy love. After a moment to collect myself, I retracted my head and buried his face in kisses.

I heard Quaxo begin to laugh as well as he snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. After he was content with how close we were, he removed one arm and brought it to my chin, pulling my head away from him. He gazed intently into my eyes and laughed again. "I hope I performed admirably." He purred.

I nodded through tear filled eyes. "Above and beyond the call of duty." I said through the giggles.

With that, Quaxo pulled my face closer to his. The most innocent yet passionate of kisses was shared. The only thing that I could really remember was the salty taste of my tears contrasting to the joy that filled my body.

We eventually sat down right where Quaxo had been sitting, with our backs leaning against the wall. Our paws remained clasped together as my head rested in the perfect fit of Quaxo's shoulder. Quaxo had put the collar back on me. I was glad to feel that familiar weight press close to my heart. We sat in silence for a while; just drinking in each other's company and watching the sun make its slow journey across the sky.

Quaxo was the first to break our blissful rest. "I really am glad you came back Vik. While I would have waited as long as it would have taken, I really am glad you came sooner rather than later. It was a little chilly." He chuckled lightly though he and I both knew the gravity of how dangerous the cold was.

"I should have some sooner." I buried my head deeper within his fur as if I could hide from my shame. "I was being stubborn and stupid. I am truly sorry."

Quaxo shook his head and waved off the last comment. "No, no. From the way everything looked, and the way _he_ set it up, I looked pretty guilty. I can't hold anything against you. At least you believed in me a little bit and came back. That was more than I could ask for."

I purred but couldn't reply. Quaxo was being too nice to me. I didn't deserve his kind words. But at the same time, I readily accepted them to try and ease my guilt. "Though I have a confession."

Quaxo remained silent for a moment. He finally replied, though I could hear the smile in his voice. "Go ahead. There's nothing you can say that will change the way I feel. We might as well confess everything now."

I smiled and nodded. "Though it's not as serious as you are thinking. I just wanted to admit that I didn't come here on my own; Plato may have given me a small push. He told me what you did." I pulled my face away and looked ad Quaxo, waiting for him respond.

Quaxo stared directly across our little clearing at the wall of junk on the other side and gave a single, slow nod. "I figured he wouldn't be able to keep that secret. He's too noble of a tom. He probably felt he owed me something." A sad smile broke across Quaxo's face.

I squeezed Quaxo's paw. "He does! He owes you his life! You saved him Quaxo."

He finally turned to face me, his eyes full of complete innocence. "I only did what was right. I had to try me best to make things better. No one owes me anything… Plus I did nothing worth praising. I didn't try to heal his wounds. I could have, but I didn't. I just let my energy flow into him. There was really no guarantee that he would have lived." Quaxo let his eyes fall back to the ground.

I purred and nuzzled his cheek. "It doesn't matter. You still did something, which is more than most of the cats in the yard did."

"That's because most of the cats in the yard aren't magic."

"Doesn't matter. You still did it."

He laughed along with me as we eventually fell back into the comfortable silence.

Quaxo suddenly stood up before me, almost casing me to fall over onto my side. He held his paw out to me. "Come on Vik. Let's run away. Let's leave this yard behind us. We can go on the adventures we always talked about. See the world! Most importantly we can leave Macavity and all our troubles behind." He beamed at me as if this was the most brilliant idea that he had ever heard of. His paw was beckoning me to take it and his offer.

I had to admit, it was quite a tempting offer. I could only imagine the rush of freedom and joy of leaving all our worries behind us. I had promised myself that Quaxo was the most important thing to me in the world and I proudly stood firmly by that oath. As long as he was with me, I would be boundlessly happy.

I slowly began to reach across the space between us with the intention of taking his offer.


	16. My Last Selfish Act

**Chapter 16: My Last Selfish Act**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry that this is still so late (kind of an understatement)… I know I should have changed it to "Hiatus", but I kept telling myself that I would do it the next week. You can see how that went, but as I said before, I am going to try to be the author that you deserve! Enjoy the story now that I've started again.**

**And even after such a long time, I still don't own Cats.**

My paw continued on its planned path. However, for some reason, I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his. A giddy, nervous smile came to my face as I let out a small laugh. I couldn't believe it. In a less than an hour…in a few minutes, I would be gone. All the unhappiness, all the terror, everything that didn't matter would be far behind me. I would have all that I needed; Quaxo, myself, and my freedom. We wouldn't need anyone else. I knew that now. I had faced my fears and saw them for what they were. I would follow Quaxo until he no longer wanted me.

I was about to grasp his paw when I suddenly froze. I could feel the heat radiating from his paw, it was as if life had radiated back into him. However, I couldn't bring myself to take hold of that dream spread before me.

Just as I saw that tantalizing road shining bright with promises, other images flashed before my mind's eye. I saw a young Jellylorum holding a younger white kitten; she was singing the crying kit to sleep. I remembered that day; it was the day that I had fallen off the TSE car. It was the first time I had gotten hurt since I entered the junkyard, and it was one of the scariest moments in my life when I realized that Griddlebone wouldn't be there to kiss my tears away. It was also the first day that I truly connected with Jelly. The image quickly faded and was replaced with a lonesome Jelly crying in the middle of my empty den. The image changed again, this time fading into Plato, standing among the rest of the kittens. He smiled as they joked around, yet his eyes held a certain sadness that I wasn't used to seeing. The image continued some more, cycling through each cat that I held dear; all of them exhibiting some form of sadness or loneliness, and no matter what, I couldn't seem to comfort them in my mind.

I quickly blinked the apparitions away and slowly raised my eyes to meet Quaxo's. Even through his slightly questioning gaze, I could see the undying love, the fact that he would do anything for me. And after all I had put him through, I was going to ask him for another favor.

I couldn't leave my tribe members behind; I had to at least try to find a way to stay. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave Quaxo, and if I had to I would leave with him. But I owed it to those that raised me, those that taught me the ways of the Jellicles, and most importantly, those that taught me to love. I had to try to make them see the good tom that Quaxo was. I had to try to stay!

I gave my head a slight shake and retracted my paw ever so slightly.

I opened my eyes again. Staring back at me were two distinct ochre eyes that were filled with an almost unfathomable sadness. Quaxo opened his mouth as if to speak and slowly let his paw begin to drop.

My paw shot out to grab a hold of his; I couldn't let him go. I quickly pressed his paw against my cheek, letting a soft purr set into my throat. I squeezed his paw as I pressed it firmly to my face. I closed my eyes. I couldn't let him see me cry. I wasn't sure if it was tears of joy at being reunited, or sadness that we still had so much to endure. I couldn't bear the idea of choosing between my family and my love. I knew that the choice would not be debated, for I would always stay by Quaxo. But just the idea of needing to make that choice and not getting a chance to say goodbye…it was almost too much.

Once I felt that I had a decent control on the tears pricking at the back of my eyelids, I slowly stood up, never taking my eyes off of Quaxo. The sadness in his eyes had been replaced by worry, and I felt, more than saw, his other paw reach out to my other cheek. He took another step closer to me, slowly leaning his forehead against mine.

We held our gazes for some time; I couldn't tell you if it was moments or hours. Time meant nothing to me at this instant. All I could do was try and find the words to tell him, after all that he did for me, that I needed to request one more selfish act.

Suddenly Quaxo looked away, blinking rapidly as if clearing away tears. I saw a small smile erupt and he gave an almost humorless laugh. He turned his face back to mine and gave my nose a tender kiss. "It's fine Vik. I understand." He whispered as he recaptured by gaze.

I quickly began a more rapid search for words. I opened my mouth to explain that I was the one at fault. I knew that I would need to beg for forgiveness. I could only push his patience so far. It was so unfair of me, but I just couldn't bring myself to not even try…

He gently placed his paw against my mouth, stifling my hurried excuses. He slowly removed it and replaced it with a quick kiss. "I know Vik, I know." He purred, keeping his face close to mine. "I can't ask you to leave. This is your family. I'm sorry. I was being selfish. We'll find some other way." He smiled again, but this time I saw no humor in it, just a kind of calm resignation.

I could no longer fight the tears, and the salt burned as I let them lose. I couldn't look at him either. I couldn't look at everything that he was giving up to be with me while I continuously asked for more. I buried my face in his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I'm the one who's sorry Quaxo! Please understand!" I hiccupped into his fur.

I finally pulled my face away. This time I held his face in my paws. "I can never ask more of you, but I will promise you this; if we cannot find a way to make this work by the end of next week, we _will_ leave. I will follow you anywhere, just lead me."

There was silence for a while as he contemplated my offer. His eyes studiously searched mine as his paws held onto mine. Finally he broke the tension with a chuckle, but this time it was genuine. He led me over to a spot against the junk pile where some cloth had fallen to the ground. He gracefully lowered himself onto the cloth and pulled me down with him. He now sat facing me, our paws securely locked together between us. "Vik, you can't understand how much that means to me." He purred, reaching up with one of his paws to brush some headfur out of my face. He lingered behind my ear, giving it a loving scratch before taking my paw back into his. "However, I can't let you do that. I can't even try to comprehend what it is I was asking you to do. I never had a family. What I had confused for father-son love was merely manipulation into blind loyalty… Asking you to leave everything you know and love-"

I unhesitatingly interrupted him, leaning forward with my urgency. "No! You're now everything I know and love!"

He patiently sat through my outburst. "No, Vik, you know that's not true. There's Jelly, Asparagus, Plato, Jem, and everyone else. They all mean something to you. Please don't deny what's theirs…"

I began blinking back the tears again. "But you are what matters to me now. I see that."

Quaxo shook his head sadly. "Really, your words are more than I ever could have expected after the past night. I can't ask for more. If we ever did leave, you would grow homesick. I know it. This is where you belong. Every year the ball would call to you. Every year you would grow sadder as the memories of your tribe mates that you love begin to fade. It would eat away at you, like a sickness. No, I can't ask that of you."

I couldn't look in his eyes any longer, all they did was reaffirm what he was saying was true. I stared at his black fur. I tried to focus on each individual hair. I noticed where the white hairs began to fade into his black ones. Every once and a while, a singular white one would be alone in the sea of black. I began to allow my paws to toy with the fur on his. I had to distract myself.

I eventually looked up with a new determination found deep with in me. "Quaxo, I mean every word that I say. If time runs out on us, I will leave, and willingly so. I've lived my life with the Jellicles, and I am grateful for what they have given me. But you are my future. I've already forgotten that fact more that I want to admit, but no more."

He opened his mouth to interrupt me. His face was one that a schoolteacher would give a particularly slow student.

I held up my asking him to hold his peace. "However, this sad conversation is probably all for nothing. I know we will find a way. This is where _we_ belong. And the ball will call to _us_ every year, and we will answer it, _together_." I finished with a smile on my face and my free paw outstretched to him. This time it was my turn to make the offer to him. We would find a way to live together in peace.

After the briefest moment of consideration, Quaxo grabbed my paw and brought it to his mouth, placing a soft nuzzle on its back. I closed the space between us and kissed him with all the passion that we had held from each other. I could feel his smile against my lips and responded likewise.

Finally we withdrew from each other, still reveling in the happiness of reunion. However, the air became very serious again. Now that we knew what course of action we were taking, we needed to come up with a plan. I offered to just tell everyone one the truth, but I was quickly denied. The tribe would never believe me, Macavity had beautifully orchestrated his plan. No, Quaxo would have to earn their trust back, which was no easy feat when they would kill him upon sight.

We continued to brainstorm as the night wore on. We eventually ended up curled around each other on the blanket, alternating between whispers of sweet nothings and discussions of how best to earn the Jellicles' trust.

Eventually I rolled onto my back and delicately lifted my limbs into the air to stretch them out. The light was beginning to creep over the horizon, and I knew that I would need to head back soon. We couldn't risk a search party to come look for me and find us together, at least not yet.

I rolled my head to the side and deftly placed a light kiss on Quaxo's cheek. He immediately began to purr as a smile spread across his face. "I really never thought I would get you back." He seemed to be thinking aloud rather than commenting to me.

I gave a very unladylike snort, than wriggled closer into his body as his arms tightened around me. "Well I came to my senses." I purred. "So can we stop mentioning my lapse in judgment? I feel horrible enough as it is… you really do deserve better."

This time Quaxo gave the snort and let out a chuckle. "Let's just start from square one."

I laughed, rolling onto my side to face him. "Maybe not quite that far… For I very much like to kiss you, but I'm not the kind of queen to kiss on the first date."

Quaxo laughed and agreed. "I think we can find some middle ground." He purred back placing butterfly kisses around my cheeks, nose, and lips.

The spell was broken as Quaxo looked up to the sky to see the growing pink and orange tints stream through the starry expanse. "You should probably head back soon." He whispered, propping himself up onto an elbow.

I can't deny that a selfish part of me was happy to hear a hint of sadness in his voice. However, I knew that my reaction would mirror his.

I turned my head away from the sky, unable to bear witness to this seemingly traitorous vision. "I guess." I sighed, playing with the fur on his arms.

Quaxo laughed as he stood up, gently pulling me to my feet as well. "Don't make this harder than it already is." He chuckled as he nuzzled my face.

I nuzzled him back; trying everything I could think of to delay the dreaded moment when I had to, once again, leave him alone in this clearing. "But we didn't come up with any plans."

He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me close as I began to purr. "I know, but you gave us plenty of time. We'll think of something, don't worry. Maybe you can talk with Plato, he might have some ideas."

I nodded, not fully trusting myself to speak.

Quaxo then held me at arms length, looking me straight in the eyes. "But I must warn you of one thing Vik. From now on, you must do your very best to avoid Coricopat and Tantomile, do you understand me? I know it was always the joke in the junkyard that those two can read minds. Well, it's not fully a joke. They can't really read minds, like actual thoughts, but they can 'feel' things. They can get a sense of what you're thinking or feeling. That's the real reason why I never wanted to be near them before. If you get too close to them, they will know that I am alive and here. Then _you _might be in danger. I can't have that! So I know that it's going to be hard, but you have to promise me that you won't go near them."

I solemnly nodded my head. I knew that I no longer had just me to think of, but of Quaxo's safety as well. I couldn't and wouldn't do anything that might let danger befall this gentle, kind, and loving tom of mine. "I promise." I said, holding my gaze, letting him know that I meant those words.

We shared a final chaste kiss before I slowly turned to leave. Quaxo walked me to the entrance of my clearing. He kissed me again on the cheek before lightly pushing me on my way to the main clearing. I immediately looked back. He smiled and waved at me. I let a small smile come to my lips as I turned to rise up to my new challenge. I knew that I would find a way and in time Quaxo would be allowed back into the tribe. This was no longer a game of love struck kittens.

**Really, thank you so much for sticking with me. I know that I really don't deserve it. But from now on, it is my goal to try and update on a weekly basis, at least. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know that I'm a little rusty now, and that's my own darn fault. I might come back sometime later and revamp this chapter once I get my swing back. Thanks again!**


	17. Our Little Secret

**Chapter 17: Our Little Secret**

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me! I wasn't sure if anyone would still read this! I really want to see this through till the end, and I will! As I said, I have the whole thing mapped out, it's just finding the time to type it all up. Please review! (I love reading your comments and it really gives me the motivation I need to keep going full steam ahead!)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Cats. I've been watching the movie on repeat, so I own a DVD of Cats, but not the actual show. So sad. **

Even though I had come to this grave realization, I couldn't suppress the kitten within me. It wasn't that my resolve had shaken, but the idea of being with Quaxo again made it hard to be taciturn and serious. I found myself repeatedly glancing behind me. It was a strange mix of emotions; half of me wanted constant confirmation that everything was real, and the other half just couldn't take in enough of merely the sight of him.

After the first few times, every time I peeked over my shoulder, Quaxo shrunk a little bit into the distance, but I always saw him chuckle and wave again. I giggled and blushed as I turned to face forward and make sure that I didn't trip over anything. This would only end in a repetition of the cycle.

Eventually I was so far away from the clearing that I could no longer see the magical tom, even as a speck. I ceased my kittenish habit of glancing back and continued on my way. I immediately brought my paws up to either side of my face as I felt the blush burning deep within my cheeks. It was hard to explain why I was so giddy. I guess I had been so consumed in the moment that now I was letting all those giddy, happy emotions catch up with me. I found myself giggling again as my stride turned into small little skips. I mean, I had been happy since I learned the truth from Plato, but it just now must have been catching up with me.

That was it! I had to find Plato! He needed to know how right he was. Though I was sure that he had no doubt. Either way, I needed to find him and tell him the good news. Additionally, he might be able to help us think of ideas to get Quaxo back into the tribe.

My pace quickened now that my energetic paws found a purpose. My skipping turned into a slightly giddy jog. I deftly jumped over the trash that had fallen off the piles and took deep breaths of the fresh spring air. It was still cold in the junkyard, but I could smell it on the air; spring was coming!

I looked over to my side as I jumped over a rather small pile of bricks that spanned the entirety of the path. I stopped immediately as I landed, entranced by what I saw. A large mirror sat propped up against the side of a pile, it looked as if it could have taken up and entire wall in a human's house. I took a tentative step towards it, reaching my paw out towards the phantom image before me. I wasn't sure if it was real.

Staring back at me was a gaunt looking queen. She seemed slightly familiar, but not quite. The bags under her eyes seemed to almost resemble black eyes, especially against her alabaster fur and pale, pink skin. Her eyes were bloodshot, from either crying or lack of sleep. The paw that was reaching towards the mirror seemed to have a russet tint to it, as if there was dried blood on it. The queen's fur was clearly white, but was overall dulled and almost slightly gray, she clearly had not cleaned herself in a while. Overall, she seemed gaunt and frail.

I quickly realized what I had tried to deny; the queen was me. Even though the attack on the junkyard had only happened three nights ago, it was clear that I had not taken care of myself. It was a surprise that Quaxo even recognized me, though I was glad that he did not ask about it. I wasn't sure how I would of answered, I didn't want to relieve the memories of those past three nights.

During my silent contemplation, I was suddenly blinded and I instinctively raised my paw to cover my eyes. I let out a small hiss as I slowly began to lower my paw and peek over it to see what had affronted me. However, after a studious examination over the top of my paw, ready to protect my eyes again, I couldn't find anything. I sighed, I was staring in mirror, clearly a simple sunbeam had just caught the mirror in the wrong way.

I let my paw fall to my side and quickly let out another hiss as I was blinded again. This time I jumped back while raising my paw a second time. I looked at the mirror again in frustration, it wasn't a dire situation, but my own pride and curiosity wanted to know what was catching the light so glaringly.

As I slowly approached the mirror, I realized what had startled me and let my giggles burst forth again, clutching my stomach as it began to cramp slightly. Just like I was as foolish as a kitten, apparently I was as skittish too. The small diamonds resting so delicately at the hollow of my neck and tracing my throat caught the light so beautifully, and strongly. I giggled some more as I lifted my paws to gently trace the glittering stones. The image in the mirror looked more like what I was used to seeing. I mean, all the physical aspects were still as they were before. Yet somehow, with me smiling, laughing, and the gems to remind me of Quaxo at my neck, the queen seemed more familiar. I rolled my eyes and turned back towards the main clearing. I made a mental note that I had to give myself a bath before I went to meet Quaxo again.

I took a final glance back at the mirror and smiled as the jewels continued to glitter in the dawning light. They were so beautiful; I would have to hide them in my den before I continued into the rest of the tribe. Surely someone would notice them. It would be rather suspicious for me to be wearing a diamond collar similar to the one that the younger cats knew that Quaxo had made me. As for the adults, the suspicion wouldn't be any less if, while in mourning from the fight, I suddenly decided to start wearing a beautiful new collar.

Once my giggles subsided, I silently ran to my den, closely hugging the sides of the junk piles. I couldn't risk running into anyone yet.

I slowly padded inside, making plenty of noise as I went in case someone was waiting for me. Luckily, no one called out to me and I knew that my den was safe. I ran over to my vanity and quickly used the multiple mirrors to unbuckle the precious accessory. I swiveled around on my seat to look for a suitable hiding spot.

I couldn't hide it under my pillow, there was no telling if Asparagus or Jelly would come to my den sometime and try to do the "parent" thing and straighten up my room, including readjusting my pillow. My pile of ribbons wouldn't do, the gems would cause this collar to stick out like a sore thumb. No, I needed to find the best hiding spot that my den offered. I couldn't afford any accidental discovery.

Finally my eyes rested on my bookshelf sitting in the corner. I quickly ran over to it and pushed a rather large book, a dictionary or something, up to it's base. I climbed on the book and stood on my very tiptoes. I didn't read most of the books, they were all what humans called "pocket-sized", but I loved the colors and the gilding that graced the binding of the books. I reached for a pretty navy one with silver lines tracing about its cover and spine. I flipped it over in my paws and read the title, "Romeo and Juliet".

I simply shrugged my paws and plopped onto my bed to get to work. I opened the book to a random page and ran my paw down the crease in the book to keep the pages open. While holding my collar and the front flap of the book in my left paw, I unsheathed my claws in my right paw and began to dig into the remainder of the book. After a few minutes, I was satisfied with my secret compartment and gently, like a newborn kit, placed the collar into the crevice. I closed the book and held it up in front of me, examining it to make sure that nothing about the object looked suspicious. Satisfied with my work, I jumped back up on the dictionary and tenderly placed the book back in its spot, making sure that the spine lined up with the rest of the books on the shelf. I jumped off of the dictionary and pushed it back to its original position.

I quickly trotted over to the entrance of my den and turned around to survey my handiwork. Except for the fact that I knew the collar was there, nothing seemed out of place. I smiled and gave myself a mental pat on the back.

Now it was time to resume my original mission. I had to go and find Plato.

In no time at all, I found myself at the entrance to the medical den. No one had bothered me really, except for Demeter. She had walked up to me when I first entered the clearing. Her eyes seemed to be full of understanding as she placed her hand on my arm and nuzzled my shoulder. I did my best to seem appreciative as I nuzzled her back, but I knew that it was the wrong kind of understanding. Her eyes were trying to tell me that she knew how hard it was to lose the one you love. She knew how much pain you felt when all that you had thought good in the world was not what it seemed. Her eyes told me she knew what it was like to have a love lost.

It took everything in me to keep from pushing her away and explaining that I didn't need her understanding, I didn't need her sympathy, I just needed her forgiveness for Quaxo. But I knew better and I knew that she meant well. So I graciously accepted her comfort before she continued on her path to visit some of the other cats.

However, Demeter aside, everyone seemed to give me wide berth, refusing to meet my eyes. I could tell some of them, such as Alonzo and Bomba, were having trouble bringing themselves to trust me and see me as the used to. I knew that the others felt too uncomfortable around me. Sometimes I even felt that Jelly was in this category. They just didn't know what to say or how to approach me. Plus, I hadn't exactly made myself approachable in the last few days. It was just easier on both parties to steer clear of each other.

I quietly entered the medical den, making sure to make as little noise as possible. If any of the patients were sleeping or if some cat was performing some kind of duties, I didn't want to disturb them. But I wasn't greeted with the silence of cats sleeping or with the rustling of busy cats. Instead, soft and muffled sobs welcomed me into the dent. I silently peeked around the corner to see who it was as I decided that I would just have to come back later.

I had assumed that it would have Jenny with her sons, but I was surprised to see Cetty prettily sitting at Plato's side. He was fast asleep, and I could tell that she was trying her best to keep as quiet as possible, but a few sniffles kept escaping through her paws as they daintily covered her mouth.

I wasn't quite sure what to do, but I was quickly given no choice as my nosey peeking caused the tin that I was leaning on for support to fall off of the table. A loud, ringing noise filled the den as I quickly bent over to silence the continuous clattering.

Cetty jolted her head up to see me. I cleared my throat and tried best to give an apologetic smile. "I-I'm sorry." I mumbled looking back at the ground, glaring at the treacherous tin.

Cetty gave a slight sniffle. "It's fine." She mumbled. When I looked up, she was quickly wiping her tears away and taking deep breaths to compose herself.

Now I really wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't just leave. My friend was here and upset, every part of my wanted to comfort her. At the same time, a small part of me told me that I couldn't, it would only make her uncomfortable. What if she was like Jem? What if she blamed me for everything? I couldn't hold it against her if she did.

Cetty gave one final sniff and placed her paws lightly on her lap. She let out a nervous laugh that revealed how close to the surface her tears were. "Hey Viki."

I gave a slight nod and another smile as I straightened up, gently placing the tin back in its place.

She looked back at Plato for a moment, then back at me. "I guess I'm sorry about this…it's just…" She paused, as if searching for the words as her eyes dropped back to her paws in her lap. Finally she let the words flood out. Something told me that she had been keeping them in for a while. "It's just. I dunno. Plato said he had something important to tell me before- I mean at the dance that night. I don't know what it was. He never got to tell me. But you should have seen the way he looked at me Viki. I've never seen a tom give me a look like that. I don't know, it reminded me of the way Old Deuteronomy looks at us, but different. I think that it was really important. And I don't know why I'm so upset. I mean I guess it's just because we've been spending so time together recently? Is it weird that I'm so upset? Why am I so upset?" At this she lifted her paws and gazed at them as tears began to fall into them again. "I just think that it must have been really, _really_ important. And I really want to know. Not in a curiosity way, but in, like, a _real_ way. I-I just can't explain it!"

She finally signed at the end, and let her whole body deflate. She just looked like a worn out kitten. She turned to face Plato and placed her paws gently on the paw at his side closest to her. She blinked through the tears and just seemed to stare at the tom as his chest slowly rose and fell in a deep sleep.

Cetty lowered her head to rest in the crook of her arms.

I shook my head and slowly advanced towards the disheartened kitten. I cleared my throat as I reached her side. When I received no reaction, with the softness I had shown Grizabella, I gently placed my paw on my dear friend's shoulder. I placed my other paw on her back and gave it a soft stroke, slowly tracing the patterns of her tabby stripes.

Cetty let out a soft hiccup, but leaned her head into my shoulder. I began to hum a similar lullaby to the one Jelly used to sing to me.

I began to wonder when Cetty started looking like such a queen? She definitely had lost her kitten features and the elegant lines of a queen had become apparent in her form. She clearly was acting as an adult as well. She was no longer the soft kitten I had always pictured her to be. I know it was sometimes hard to see as she faithfully followed Tugger around, but I wondered if I had been refusing to see her as the adult she was or if she had been holding onto it just as dearly as I had been.

I silently cursed Macavity, not only for causing so much pain, but also for robbing even the most innocent of the tribe of the childhood that they deserved. On the other paw, maybe it was time for her to mature. As I noted, she was no longer a kitten and we couldn't keep putting her in that role, nor could she cling to it so closely.

After a few moments, Cetty retracted her head to look me earnestly in the eyes. The chocolate-caramel color of her eyes seemed to swirl and glisten through the tears. There was so much emotion, I couldn't even focus on one and identify it from the rest.

This time, she cleared her throat, bringing me back to attention. She gave me a soft smile, one that I was used to seeing grace her features, even if it was a little less in magnitude. "Have you found Quaxo?" She purred.

I was shocked, and choked on my words.

My eyes must have been as wide as they felt because Cetty quickly clarified, grabbing my paws in all earnestness. "It must have been a mistake. You said so in the oven. Quaxo is a good tom. I just feel it! It has to be a mistake."

I was grateful for her words of trust, but I couldn't tell if she meant them or was saying what she thought that I would want to hear. But with a quick look into her eyes, I knew that she meant it. I looked away, unable to stand up to the sincerity I found. If she had said that to me only hours ago, I would have laughed at her. I bitterly smiled at myself. How could she have such faith in the tuxedoed tom, when I needed help to feel that same? Why was I unable to believe so blindly? The realization seemed to hurt my heart, but I quickly soothed it as I realized that I would from now on. No questions or excuses.

I looked past Cetty, unable to keep the truth from such an honest queen and such caring eyes. I swore that I saw the tips of Plato's mouth twitch, but I quickly dismissed the fact and glanced back at Cetty before focusing on a crease in the mattress that the tom was on. I sighed and gave a slight nod. "I think I do believe so too." I purred.

Suddenly a call interrupted our reverie. I couldn't tell who it was, but they seemed to be looking for Cetty.

Her head shot up as her ears swiveled forward, locating the call outside the den. She glanced back at me and gave her dazzling smile. She gave my paws a quick squeeze before throwing her arms around my neck and giving me a tight hug. I eagerly embraced her back.

"Let's keep this our little secret." She whispered into my ear as she gave one final squeeze.

I nodded as she pulled back, giving me one more earnest look with her innocent, pure eyes. She smiled again and dashed towards the door. She turned around and waved to me. Though I could tell that her real motive was to get one last look at the tom lying on the cot. After a moment to gather her composure, Cetty turned and left the den.

I sat still and silent for a while longer. It felt so great to have at least one of my friends back at my side. My ears dropped for a moment as I realized that I might have to leave without saying goodbye…

No! Quaxo and I would find a way to gain the tribe's trust. We _would_ stay in the junkyard. I had to keep thinking that way. Plus, Plato would help us come up with an idea.

With that final thought of Plato, I flattened my ears and pivoted around and dropped onto the stool. As I sat down, I let my paw reach to the ground and grab one of the extra pillows that lay on the floor. Then, with one fluid movement, I picked up the pillow and threw it down on his chest.

I heard his breath escape the tom, though I knew that I hadn't hit him that hard. He lethargically opened one copper orb and I saw his crooked smile begin to grace his features. "What was that for Vik?" He purred has he lifted one arm into the air, giving it a good stretch.

I rolled my eyes. "You know! You were awake that whole time, weren't you?" I chastised, wagging a finger in front of his face.

The muscular tom let out a full-chested laugh as he opened the other eye. "Well, I think for most of it. I woke up to her sniffling." He stretched the other arm.

I placed my paws securely on my hips, trying my best to give him the look Jenny gives when one of her boys is naughty.

"Aw, come one Vik. Give a sick cat some luxury." He chuckled and his eyes crinkled in his merriment. I couldn't help but start to smile as well. "If she knew I had been woken up by her crying. It would've been awkward. Plus, I didn't really know how she felt about me. It's the silver lining." He purred as he let his arms fall to his sides so that he was lying like a cross, one paw resting in my lap.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't suppress the smile. I grabbed his paw and gave it a quick nuzzle.

He suddenly became serious, looking from the ceiling to me. "Did you find Quaxo?"

My smile broadened as I gave his paw a quick squeeze. Where did I need to start? How would I stop the words from rushing forth?

**A/N: Please, please, please review! I would like to improve some more! I feel so rusty! Haha And it's so funny, this writing thing…what I had outlined as one chapter looks like it will span into three. So, from this evidence, I really have no idea how many more chapters there are, but I think we are in the home stretch… at least the final third! Thanks again for reading!**


	18. I Swear on the Snow

**Chapter 18: I Swear on the Snow**

**A/N: So here is the next installment! I hope you like it. Please! If you do, review it, even if it's anonymous! I love constructive criticism or hearing your thoughts…it really helps me improve myself! **

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to settle myself. I could feel a smile beaming across my face. When I opened my eyes, I saw a similar smile on Plato as well as hope twinkling in his eyes. As soon as my eyes met his, I lost all my delicately constructed reserve. I began to giggle again and squeezing Plato's paw in joy, if he felt any annoyance or pain, he didn't show it.

Plato graciously let my giggles run their natural course, and waited until they subsided to prompt for an actual answer. "Well?" He purred, never letting the gleam leave his eyes.

I stifled a resurgence of giggles. "Well…" I purred back, trying to search for the exact words to accurately convey my joy. "As usual…you were right." I mumbled, half hating those words and half fighting my constant battle with joyous laughter.

Plato let his purr increase in volume as he cockily stretched his free arm before he settled it under the back of his head. His crooked grin made its usual appearance as he continued, "Ah, I've heard those words since kittenhood. Yet I never tire of hearing them."

I shook my head, not really for any reason of protest, but because I just couldn't contain my newfound energy. I had to do something. "Anyways," I continued as if he hadn't said anything at all. "I found Quaxo. He's fine, and most importantly he's safe. He's in the yard."

Plato nodded and smiled, as if this was the only natural response and I had only restated the obvious to him.

I allowed us to slip back into our usual comfortable silence. I didn't realize until then how much I had missed those times. They were much more peaceful, and definitely simpler. I knew that I wouldn't trade my time with those of the past, but it was nice to know that not everything had changed; that I still had some solid rock around which the rest of my world seemed to shift almost unnervingly.

The russet tom sat in silence, looking at me expectantly.

"What?" I chuckled.

Plato rolled his eyes before rolling his whole body onto his side. He propped himself up on his elbow and took my paws in his. It was his turn to give a gentle squeeze as he looked at me with the eagerness of young kit waiting friends to round the corner. "What do you mean what?" He said in a mocking, but gentle tone. "Tell me what happened. I want to know everything."

I laughed realizing my grievous error. "Oh, of course!" I yelped, sitting upright, regaining my original energy.

I proceeded to tell Plato everything, from my entrance to the clearing, to the collar, to our almost running away with Quaxo. More accurately I _almost_ told him everything, I left out some of the more intimate moments that belonged solely to Quaxo and me.

During my narrative, I could hear Plato's feint purr as his tail swayed back and forth lazily over the other side of the cot. Clearly he was enjoying my story, almost as much as I was.

As I finished, Plato nodded and rolled back onto his back. He let a heavy sigh escape his lips as he fell down to the cot, his eyes looking weary. I realized that he must have grown tired propping himself up, just because he acted like he always did didn't mean that he was fully recovered.

I started to get up, my paws out as if asking what I could do to help.

I was quickly waved off as Plato indicated for me to sit down. After a few moments of tension as he gained back his energy, he turned his head back to me, smiling as if nothing had happened. "I'm glad you didn't leave Vik." His purr was soft, and his joking smile and tone was gone. "I really would have missed you. Things never would've been the same in the yard…for anyone."

I was stunned for a moment, my eyes wide. Surely I couldn't really be that important. I mean, I was sure that cats like Plato and Asparagus would miss me, but I didn't think that I was so integral to the whole tribe. I knew that the tribe would mourn my leaving (I wasn't that naïve), but I figured that most of them would eventually move on.

Plato laughed and reached out giving my cheek a soft pat that was meant to be a joking slap. "What're you trying to do, catch flies?" He laughed.

I didn't realize my mouth was open in attempted protest, but I quickly closed it. "Thanks Plato, but I wouldn't be missed that much…by everyone." I mumbled back, refusing to meet his gaze.

He shook his head as he turned to look at the ceiling. "Stop being so modest. Whether or not you admit it, everyone would miss you, I'm not sure anyone would get over it. You are one of the few and only cats that _everyone_ raised. Like that saying, it takes a village, though more accurately a tribe. Even though Jelly and Asparagus were your foster parents, since you were the only orphan, pretty much everyone helped raise you and take care of you. Plus you're so kind and gentle. I bet you almost every cat sees you as a family member." Silence pervaded the air as he let those words sink in.

After a moment, the serious atmosphere was broken as Plato returned to his usual, jovial self. "Anyways, you're here and that's what matters. So when will I get to see Quax again? I want to thank him." His smile broadened as he closed his eyes. He seemed to think that we were near the end of our discussion.

I looked at his peaceful, waiting face, not wishing to answer. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Why did I always seem to make Plato sad or upset? However, I knew that I couldn't like and couldn't hide it. "Well…you see… I don't know…"

He slowly opened his eyes into slits as he eyed me suspiciously. "And why is that?" he said in a quiet voice.

I broke my gaze and stared at my paw as it absently petted his. "Well…I don't really know how to put this. You know the tribe doesn't trust him. I didn't even trust him at the time… He can't just march into the yard and declare that he's innocent. They'd be on him before he even got a word out." I glanced back at Plato earnestly trying to convey what I was having trouble putting into words.

He allowed my words to sink in as he contemplated each syllable.

This time I couldn't stand the silence and began to explain further, talking just to fill the silence. "I've given us about two weeks to figure something out. If we can't gain the tribe's trust by then, I _am_ leaving with him. I'm not going to leave his side again." I stared at the paws folded neatly in my lap. I couldn't bear to look at Plato. I didn't want to see the look of pain that would meet me.

The silence that I had tried so hard to avoid immediately resumed. I peeked up at the tom through my lashes. Plato was glaring at the ceiling deep in contemplation. I had nothing left to say and looked away.

Finally Plato let out a low, drawn-out sigh. I heard him rustle on his cot; I assumed it was to face me. I refused to lift my gaze. I extended and retracted my claws, seemingly fascinated with this simple movement.

He let out a second sigh, just as deep as the first. "You _have _to leave?"

I nodded has I sheathed my claws for a fifth time. I could feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Maybe Quaxo had had a point. If it was so hard to even mention leaving now, I couldn't imagine the pain I would have had to endure if I had run away and then let the grief hit me. I blinked the tears away, giving myself a mental scolding. I had to push those thoughts away. If two weeks came and went with no results, I would leave with only a fleeting glance back. I would be happy with Quaxo, no matter what. I had to be ready for that eventuality.

I felt a paw on my leg. I realized that I had closed my eyes in my attempt to fight the tears. I opened them again, but only to look at the copper and cream paw resting so reassuringly in my lap. When did Plato grow so mature? When had I been left behind in my childish and selfish ways?

"Hey Vik," His voice was soft and gentle, a tone he reserved for special, but important messages. "If you do have to leave, promise me you'll come say goodbye. To me, at least."

I finally garnered the courage to lift my eyes to meet his. All I could see was complete understanding, with only a hint of sadness. Plato did not beg me to stay, nor he did not demand anything from me. He was willing to let me go, as I needed to, and knew that any attempt to assuage my resolve would only make things harder for me. I let a small smile creep into my features. It was such a simple request.

"I swear on the snow, the dance, and my heart." I whispered, bringing back our secret pledge that meant everything to us as kittens.

His smile widened, comforted by my promise. "Anyways, if it does come to that, I'm not going to let you go that easily. I plan on visiting every so often. So you better tell me where you guys settle in. Plus I mean, Uncle Plato will need to visit the kits and what not."

I giggled slightly as I playfully batted his shoulder. I didn't bat as hard as I wanted to though, I didn't want to hurt him.

He chuckled and placed both paws under the back of his head, lying flat on his back. He casually crossed his legs at the ankle and closed his eyes lazily. "I'll keep thinking of things. I am sure there's something that you two missed. Probably to busy whispering sweet nothings to _really_ think of ideas." He laughed letting his ear twitch as his tail continued to sway back and forth.

I rolled my eyes and batted again, this time harder. He was a growing tom; he could handle it.

We spent about an hour or two thinking of ideas and quickly shooting each other down. It seemed that every plan had a down side.

Eventually I let out a yawn and tried my best to hide it with my paws. However, Plato was quick to follow, letting out a quite audible yawn as he stretched all his limbs as straight as they could go. "I think we both need some rest. Maybe sleep and a clear head will help." He purred nonchalantly.

I nodded stifling a second yawn. I had been up with little sleep the previous night, and even though sunset was a little ways off, it had been a busy day and I was ready for sleep. Plus, this visit seemed to have been full of emotional highs and lows. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

"Goodnight." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"'Night Vik." He replied, barely understandable through his yawn.

I stood up and headed for the door.

Right as I reached the exit from the den, I turned back to look at my dear friends. Plato seemed to have already fallen asleep. It amazed me how quick he was to sleep when he was really tired. I glanced over at his roommate, Addie. I smiled; the young tom seemed to be healthier already. I know I hadn't seen him away, and I really had no right to make the assumption, but his whole presences seemed to be healthy and fit. I knew then that he would make it through.

I placed my paw on the flap of the den and stepped out just as I turned. I immediately stopped in my tracks. Towering in front of me, with his back to me, was Alonzo. I quickly gulped as my mind began to race and a knot formed in the bottom of my stomach.

I knew that the tom would never do anything to hurt me, but I also knew that he scared me. Alonzo would never forgive a traitor, or anyone he thought of as such. The last time we had met had ended amicably, but there was no Munkustrap here, this time, to divert the tom's anger. I wasn't sure that I would be able to face that accusatory stare. I felt that I would either fall apart, or become angry on Quaxo's behalf and divulge some information that was not to be shared yet.

I quickly tore my mind out of its shock and decided on the best course of action. It was clear from the way that Alonzo was talking to the other cats in the yard that he was headed for the medical den. I couldn't just wait inside, but I knew that there had to be another exit. No Jellicle den has only one entrance, that would be too dangerous if there was a collapse of the pile. The only question was if I could find the second exit in time before Alonzo entered the den. But, I had no choice. Every moment I spent staring at the tom's broad back was less time I was spending looking for the other door.

I slowly began to take steps backwards, silently retreating from the confrontation that I wished to avoid. However, I had taken too long and it was too late. Alonzo had said his final orders and quickly turned towards the den for some reason or other. He froze, staring down at me.

I couldn't move, it was almost as if shame and fear kept me glued to the spot. I was frozen, staring straight into his brown, almost black eyes. I couldn't read them. They were so dark and enigmatic. All I could tell was they were deep and filled with emotion, and I was fairly certain it wasn't joy to see me.

I gulped again. I wasn't sure if I should say something or just walk by. What would cause the tom the least anger? I couldn't afford any enemies right now, and I definitely didn't want a scene.

Alonzo quickly forced a smile, but it didn't take a mind reader to see the animosity in his eyes. Was what I had done really that bad? Did he really hate me that much?

With a grand gesture, the patched tom stepped to the side, sweeping his hand out in front of him, motioning towards the center of the clearing. It hit me that this was the same gesture that Tugger had given Grizabella the last time she had entered the clearing during the ball. My paw went straight to my chest; it felt as if he had literally stabbed me. My breath caught in my throat. Had I fallen that far in his eyes?

I immediately straightened. I could only hope that I didn't see how much he had affected me. I kept my paw at my chest, as if I had placed it there in gratitude. I made a small sniff and strode out of the medical den. I would keep my pride, just as Grizabella had done. _I_ knew that I had done nothing wrong.

I momentarily stopped in front of Alonzo and turned to face him. He let his paw drop and stared back down at me. We stood there for a moment; a battle of wills brew between us. I would convince him that I was innocent, and so was Quaxo. He would know someday. He would regret the way he had treated me. I would make him see.

The contest lasted only a moment before the tom looked away with a small smirk, squinting as if he could see through the flap into the den.

I let my own grin come as I realized I had won this small victory. I hadn't convinced him of anything yet. But I had made him doubt his assumptions. I could tell from the questions that flitted through his gaze before he looked away. It wasn't a lot of ground I had taken back from my old friend, but it was ground nonetheless. I knew then that he _would _understand.

I knew that if I could win Alonzo, there was hope for the rest of the tribe.

**Was it good? Did you like it? Let me know. I have finally rewritten my outlines and have the story pretty mapped out. Currently there are five chapters left. I know, it's so sad that we are coming to a close However, two things to cheer you up. One: by looking through my track record, nothing could keep me from the possibility of expanding as I write and turning those five chapters into ten. Two: I have started mulling over some ideas for possible future stories. So review away and let me know what you thought! **


	19. Waiting for You

**Chapter 19: Waiting for You**

**A/N: I realized that I've been so rusty that I forgot my disclaimer… so I don't own Cats, nor have I ever owned Cats. Anyways, the only other thing I have to say is review, review, review!**

I didn't want him to spot my grin, since it would probably cause me to lose the precious little ground I had gained. So I quietly and peacefully turned away from him, scanning the clearing to see if anyone else had seen our exchange.

Luckily no was had been there to bear witness. My ears turned back as I heard the flap to the den swish from some kind of disturbance. I briefly glanced behind me to see that Alonzo was gone, only the swish of the entrance cloth told me where the tom had gone.

I tried my best to control my features as an odd kind of giddy feeling began to surge through me. I stood where I was for a moment, rescanning the clearing to find the safest way to my den. I wanted to find the path of least resistance, the fewest cats I had to pass while suppressing my smile, the better.

I decided that the best idea would be to skirt the outside of the clearing, and avoid most of the cats gathered around the TSE car or sunning themselves in the middle of the clearing while speaking in hushed tones. How long would it take for things to return normal?

I stealthy skirted the clearing, dragging my paw along the junk piles that I walked along. I paused as my paw came to rest on the cool metal to Quaxo's old den. My thoughts were brought back to me as I slowly placed my other paw on the drainpipe and rested my forehead against its cool surface.

I took a few steadying breaths. Even though it was far away, I could still see the fork in my future looming before me. I was frantically looking for an alternate path, but not matter how hard I looked, the fork kept coming closer and closer.

I slowly glanced to the side, making sure not to move my head. I looked over the clearing of cats to make sure that no one was looking at the den or me. I continued to peek through my eyelashes as I inched closer to the entrance. Not that anyone would have really noticed. They made a point to keep clear of it. They acted as if it was a viper, and as if it would bit and infect if one got too close.

I waited for the moment when I could be absolutely sure that no one was watching before I ducked into the pipe as quickly as possible. I sprinted its full length, trying my best to keep my head ducked, though I did end up bumping it twice. However, it was times like these where I hated my fur color. Usually it was a source of pride, but it was certainly not conducive for hiding among the shadows.

I made it to the end of the pipe and stopped. I rested my hands on my thighs as I caught my breath. I finally looked up and squinted through the dim light. Since Quaxo had been a magical tom, when he built his den, he didn't bother trying to make sure there was enough light coming in from the outside.

I carefully picked my way across the den by memory. A few items had fallen into my path, either from time or the fight. The only time I had really tripped, I was luckily close to his bed and safely orchestrated my fall to land on the plush rags.

I didn't move for a while, allowing what was left of Quaxo's scent to overwhelm me. I let the memories and emotions come flooding back and consume my mind. I could so vividly picture the times where Quaxo and I sat on his bed, flipping through various picture books. I remembered all the tales we wove, all the different futures we planned out. We had discussed all the adventures we would go on and all the places we would visit. I had never thought that those plans would become a choice that was almost unbearable.

I sighed. I kept telling myself, but I couldn't seem to listen. I couldn't keep thinking so pessimistically. That choice may never need to be made, and Quaxo was counting on me.

I finally rolled over and leaned across the bed to where the nightstand was. I could just make out Quaxo's old lamp through the few beams of light that penetrated the junk pile. I quickly flipped the knob under the shade like Quaxo had shown me. I sighed and allowed a quick laugh at myself. Of course nothing happened, there was no electricity here. The only reason that it worked before was because the magic that had flowed through this simple space when he was here.

I sighed as I picked myself up off of the bed. By this time, my eyes had become a little more adjusted to the scarce light and I could make slight silhouettes and feint differences in colors. I could see that, even in such scant light, objects in the far corners had been moved around as the secret nooks and crannies were searched.

I stood up, and carefully picked my way through the den this time, making sure to avoid treacherous books and other objects in my way. I finally came face to face with my destination and the evidence I had come in to see. I rested my paw and some of my weight on the milk crate off to my side as I took in the cavernous expanse before me. So this was the exit tunnel Quaxo had used. It was larger than I thought, but small enough to be easily concealed by the crate and a few well placed books. Even though I squinted down its length, I couldn't see any light. Though it only made sense since the Jellicles would have quickly filled in the hole.

A shiver ran up my spine and I wrapped my paws around myself. Could this have been the tunnel that the henchcats or even Macavity, himself, used to enter our domain? The tunnel seemed dark, and ominous. I took a small step back as I shuddered again. I felt as if the tunnel would just swallow me up and plunge me into darkness.

I closed my eyes and pictured Quaxo, smiling with paw outstretched. I ran into his arms and held him close. I swore I could feel his arms squeeze me in return. He was my light and my way. He was all that I really needed. He wouldn't let the dark surround me.

I was torn from my daydream as a sound was heard outside. Even though the noise was amplified from the echoes of the pipe, I knew that the source was too close to the entrance for comfort. I couldn't let myself be found in here. I couldn't let our time for planning be cut short before it even began.

I quickly dived off to a side of the den where the least light penetrated the pile. I tucked myself among some light gray pillows. I could only pray that it was enough to disguise me.

For agonizing minutes, I sat huddled among the upholstery. I could feel my thighs and my calves begin to cramp, but it meant nothing to me. All that mattered was that I stay hidden and safe.

After a while more, I still hadn't heard any further noises. I figured that I was safe, but I couldn't remain in the den any longer. I didn't know how long my luck would last.

I cautiously made my way to the pipe and through it to the clearing. I kept myself pressed as close as I could to the side, and made triple sure that no one was looking my way. I silently slinked out and put some distance behind me, away from the den.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, making sure that I appeared calm and collected. Once I was satisfied with my features, I opened my eyes and glanced back towards the clearing, paranoid that someone had seen me.

Just as I was about to let my guard down, a cool, emotionless voice hit my ears, "Hello Vik…"

I jumped. I felt my hackles rise and a hiss escape my throat. I tried my best to suppress the hiss and smooth my fur. But most of my mental effort was put towards finding an excuse to explain what I had been doing. There was no way that this cat hadn't seen me leaving Quaxo's den.

As my mind continued to race, the voice continued, "Vik. I-I'm sorry. I know you probably hate me… but I didn't mean to scare you. And I really am s-sorry for everything." The emotionless tone seemed to crack, and I recognized the sad, feminine voice behind me.

I turned around to see a downcast Jem. It was a confusing image because the last time I had seen her, she had been the epitome of fury. No the young queen seemed so lost and sad; I wasn't sure what to do. All I wanted to do was comfort my old friend, to tell her everything was all right. But I knew better. Just because I considered her my friend didn't mean that that feeling went both ways.

I stood where I was completely speechless. Everyone always made sure to steer clear of me. Jem had no reason to approach me if she still hated me. This thought combined with her pervious words gave me a moment to hope. Additionally, her voice and her stance told me she had not seen me leave Quaxo's den.

The black and red queen stared at the ground while her back paws fidgeting slightly as her front paws began to wring themselves. Suddenly, Jem's head began to move in sudden movements as sniffling sounds punctuated the silence between us. Even though I couldn't see her eyes, I knew that Jem was on the verge of tears.

I took a cautious step towards my friend, placing a gentle paw on her shoulder.

Jem immediately looked up at me with a kind of hope in her eyes. It was strange. What was she hopeful for? But she quickly rushed her words out, explaining how sorry she was for everything she had said and done, before and after the fight. She had been worried that I would never forgive her.

I was stunned. She shouldn't have been seeking forgiveness. Even if Quaxo hadn't done anything wrong, I still felt responsible for the hurts of the tribe. I should have been there for them as well as him. There was so much I felt that I could have and should have done. But somehow, her seeking my forgiveness, and therefore giving some of her own, a huge weight seemed to be lifted off of my chest.

I blinked through the tears that were now in my eyes as I pulled the trembling queen into a long embrace. All I could do was hug her and ask her to stop apologizing; it was making me cry more.

She didn't seem to hear my pleas and continued to beg for mercy.

I squeezed her harder, burying my face in her shoulder. As she paused for a breath, I immediately interrupted her, "Please, Jem! There's nothing to apologize for. You were hurting; anyone could've seen that. There is nothing to forgive."

It seemed to work. Her apologies stopped as hiccupped breaths shook her body. Somewhere in our exchange, her arms had found my waist. She was hugging be back, almost with a kind of desperation, as if she felt that she was clinging to me for dear life. The pain and loss that filled the small, innocent queen was felt so readily that tears sprang to my eyes at full force.

All I could do was hold her as long as she needed. I could understand her pain to some extent. I never had the feeling of thinking my love was dead, but that feeling of losing your love was the same, no matter what banner it flew under. How could I withhold the mercy she so needed after I had been forgiven repeatedly for much more grievous sins?

Luckily we were off in a secluded corner of the clearing, so no one saw us or interrupted our needed peace. And after a few minutes of that peace and silence, Jem's ragged breaths had subsided, and her arms seemed to relax their desperate grasp.

I felt that I had to give her what she really needed. I slowly held Jem at an arm's length as I tried my best to smile through the blur of tears.

"Jem, there's something I need to tell you. Plato is awake. He woke up just a yesterday…" I let my sentence fall as I swallowed my tears. This was happy news. "I mean he was in a lot worse state than Addie. I bet you Addie will come to soon too! Plus, Jelly said it's always good to spend time with them. Y-you could be-should be the first person he sees when he wakes."

Jem's eyes grew wide as a small smile crept to her face. Clearly this was the news she had been waiting to hear. I couldn't suppress my grin as her face returned to the innocent look that I was used to seeing.

"D-do you really mean it?" She whispered, as if afraid that putting the question into words would turn her hope to despair.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Promise. I bet you he'll wake up any time now. He's probably just waiting for you." I jokingly added, believing in his patience myself.

Jem gave me a second quick hug. Her words rushed again, but this time in pure joy. "Oh, thank you so much for telling me Vik! I really am sorry for everything. If you ever need me for anything…"

She let her voice trail off, not sure how to continue. I knew what she meant. She was sorry that she was regaining her love but mine was still lost. If only I could tell her. But I was sorry too. I was sorry for the tribe's misunderstanding. Sorry for my lack of trust in those I love. Sorry that others had gotten hurt. But I was _not_ sorry for myself, nor would I ever fall into self-pity again. I had Quaxo and I would never let him go again. It seemed as if everything now reminded me of that promise.

I smiled, knowing that she would misinterpret the traces of sadness at the corners of my mouth. After a moment of relishing the fact that I had regained such a dear friend, I shooed her on her way to the medical tent. My smile grew wider as the petite black and red queen began to jog and skip across the clearing before disappearing into the den. From now on, I knew that I would need to check the medical tent thoroughly when I wanted to talk to Plato. Our private conversations would have to be fewer and shorter.

I began to travel back to my den again with a light spring in my step. Hopefully no one would notice, not that they would ask anyway.

As I was about to turn the corner of the quickest path to my den, I froze. Two voices drifted towards me, their tone so similar and melodic. It was Coricopat and Tantomile. I slowly backed away. How far did their abilities stretch? Never before had the gentle twins inspired such fear in me. I was about to turn and run towards a different path when more voices answered the twins. It sounded as if Munkustrap and Alonzo were there, as well as a few others.

I pressed myself against the junk pile trying to hear what they were saying. If they were going to sweep the yard or try and find Quaxo, I needed to be able to warn him.

Alonzo's voice eventually called above the others. From my distance and the other voices, I missed the beginning of his statement, but I caught the end. "-trust her! I'm telling you. Victoria needs to be watched! Something's not right…" His voice lowered into a low growl at the last sentence. His voice was angry and harsh. It made me wince as he said my name.

A cold sweat began to break over me. I couldn't be watched. How would I visit Quaxo? How could we plan? I turned around so that I couldn't see the gathering. I was afraid to peek and see the anger in their faces. But I remained where I was, opting to listen to the discussion.

Demeter's quiet and calm voice clearly rang through the group. "Alonzo, please. There's no need for that."

Munk replied, his voice seemingly full of understanding. I could just picture his paw resting protectively on Demeter's. "She's right Lonz. Victoria did nothing but fall in love. And she'd hurting just as much as we are. You have to understand how much more we'll be hurting her if we do that."

A growl came to my ears, one I had never heard before. It was a strange, throaty growl. "It's all that damn Quaxo's fault. I could just _kill_ him!"

My mouth dropped open as the voice registered in my memory as Tugger's. I had never heard him growl. He had never been the nicest tom to Grizabella, but he had never shown such animosity as to growl and threaten. I swallowed hard. Quaxo was in more trouble than I had thought.

After a moment, Tugger continued, his voice soft and almost fatherly. "That poor kit. She deserved better, and none of us could see it."

Was he talking about me?

Another snarl tore through the air. I began to shiver again, remembering when I had prayed that Alonzo never used it towards me. "Don't you see? She doesn't seem like a poor kitten! You should have seen the look she gave me today. She's up to something. You know that I would never want to hurt my own tribe mates, but I will also protect the whole tribe over a single queen's feelings that can easily be overcome."

Apparently I hadn't made as much ground with him as I had originally thought.

A low hiss escaped the gathering. I almost didn't hear it, but everyone else clearly did, as a tense silence seemed to overcome everyone present. This was another growl that I had never heard before, but seemed oddly familiar. I quickly scanned all of my memories trying to place the gentle but menacing hiss.

I didn't have to wait long, for the same cat began to speak in an equally quiet and low voice. I was quickly filled with an odd kind of warmth as I listened to Asparagus stand up for me. "That is enough Alonzo. I will not listen to you saying such things anymore! Victoria is my daughter. She is my family, just as she is yours. She is still a member of our tribe, and I will not have anyone treat her otherwise. She has been through more than you can even imagine. She needs more protection than anyone. And we have proven ourselves to be lower than pekes, for we have shown her no comfort or compassion. You, I, and all of us have no idea what is running through her mind. If you treated me like you treated her, I would give you quite a look too. We're all lucky that she is too kind to give us what we deserve. And I fear that, from our actions, she has burdened herself with the full responsibility of what happened, something she doesn't deserve."

Silence filled the gathering. Asparagus had said his piece. I knew that he would say nothing more. He was not the argumentative type, but if felt strongly about something, he would say what he needed to say and then remain silent. He never hounded a subject, and since he was a tom of such few words, when he did say what needed to be said, it was usually all that was required.

I quickly got up and began to run to my den, picking a different, slightly longer path. I didn't want their pity. And I couldn't come to terms with what Asparagus had said. I was so happy that he had defended me, but everything he had said was wrong. None of his sweet, kind words applied to me. Was I making him look like a fool? He had so much trust in me, and I was keeping so much from him.

I arrived at my den and dove into it, never slowing my stride. Through my tears I grabbed the book that was pushed into the corner and dragged it to the bookshelf. My paws were shaking as I scrambled to pull the secret book out of the line. I desperately opened it and pulled the collar out with a lot less delicacy than when I put it in the compartment. I let the book fall to the ground, ignoring that it had fallen face open on the ground, bending pages. I did nothing to push the dictionary back into is place and jumped onto my bed, holding the collar close to my heart. Through my fur I could feel the cool touch of the gems against my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping the tears locked inside.

The next two weeks were going to be a lot harder than I thought they would be. How could I look at Alonzo knowing he hated me? Or at Asparagus without wanting to cry to him and unburden my soul? From now one, everything I did and said needed to be carefully planned out and rehearsed.

I remained in this position on my bed for the rest of the day. As the light began to fade, I found myself slipping into a deep, dreamless slumber.

**Sorry. I feel like these chapters have slowed down. I hope they aren't too bad for you to read. Review and let me know what you think! Hopefully it will start picking up again soon.**


	20. Burn It Into My Memory

**Chapter 20: Burn It Into My Memory**

**A/N: Sorry, there's not a lot of action in this chapter either. I just let myself get carried away. I also have to apologize for how short this chapter is, I just couldn't bring myself to go past the end, it was the end of a chapter if I ever wrote one. Haha so more to come, though I'm not sure when. This upcoming week is super duper busy! Please enjoy and review. More reviews= more motivation. (But I promise I will update no matter what) So please review and enjoy! ;)**

**Also, still don't own Cats, or anything creative for this disclaimer.**

Time slowly passed without any fruit from my labor. The days began to blur together, but I knew that my choice was in two days. The realization had made me nervous and skittish. This only seemed to keep the others at a distance, which left me to my own devices and my own thoughts.

Addie and Plato made a full recovery. The two couldn't seem to stay in the medical den too long and were running around the clearing with only slight limitations. However, their recovery was exactly what the tribe needed. It seemed that the second the two emerged from the recovery room, the entire atmosphere in the junkyard lightened and went back to normal. Seeing the two toms running freely through the paths in the piles was the final healing step that the cats needed; the Jellicles stopped speaking in hushed tones, one could hear songs hummed throughout the yard, and smiles were given freely.

Luckily, every moment that the two could spare, the three of us would huddle in darkened corners with our heads bent in secret discussions. It was so hard to find a way to earn the tribe's trust back. It was like trying to piece back a priceless painting that someone had ripped. If we simply tried to piece it back together and pretend nothing had happened, doubt would circulate and the tear would slowly begin to peal and show. However, it was a risk for to create and entirely new picture, any two paintings were never the same, and one could never tell until afterwards if the painting was better than the original or if it paled in comparison.

But creating the opportunity for this new portrait of Quaxo, yet alone actually making it was almost too hard to imagine. It seemed that every time someone came up with an idea, the other two shot it down immediately. No matter what angle we started from, Quaxo never was able to gain even the hypothetical trust of the tribe.

I sighed, exasperated, as I watched the two toms run off into the main clearing. There was no doubt in my mind that they were looking for their queenfriends. I was happy for them, really I was. But couldn't they see we were running out of time? I was going to have to leave. Didn't that mean anything? Especially to Plato?

No blame could really be placed on either tom though. Both had come so close to death, who was I to take up their time with talks of gloom? I knew that they were helping me because they wanted to, but they also wanted to spend time with their new loves. I had been there; I knew what it felt like. However, they had almost lost their chances, I couldn't ask them to drop everything for me. No, we had all made a pledge to let nothing hold us back, even if that meant each other. It was a sad pledge, but a good, liberating one as well. I could leave without feeling any guilt, and they could watch me go with a clean conscience.

I also had to admit, it was pleasant to see Plato and Cetty together. The day Plato had left the medical den, he had confessed his feelings to her. It's not like things changed overnight; every now and then Cetty would still swoon over Tugger, but Plato always made sure he was there. He always let her have her small fit, then would take her paw and kiss her ever so lightly on the cheek. I couldn't deny that it was rather adorable. Plato was learning to loosen up and Cetty was learning to act a little more grown up. They really should be together, just like…

I quickly shook my head and rested it against the pile behind me. I stared up as the sky as I watch the wind play with the long tendrils of clouds, playfully pushing them about. It seemed as if only the breeze knew where it was pushing the clouds. I wished that I knew what was coming next. I didn't like being the cloud with no control over my destination. The only thing that I did know was that Quaxo and I were going to be together no matter what.

As often as I could during those times, I would try and visit Quaxo. Sometimes we would dance, sometimes we would simply chat, and during the rest we continued to plan. However, as I felt the pressure of the deadline I set beginning to press in on us, less time was spent in fun and more in serious contemplation. It seemed an impossible feat, but I would not allow myself to give up. I promised myself, and my family (even if they didn't know it) that I would keep trying until that final day passed.

Even with all my down time, I couldn't solely spend it with Quaxo, the tribe would have gotten suspicious if I was gone all the time. Any time I couldn't spare to Quaxo or Plato was dedicated to the third tom in my life, Asparagus. If one could find me in the main clearing, I was glued to Asparagus's side.

We usually sat in silence, with little conversation. He was a tom of few words, and I wasn't sure I could trust myself to speak without telling him the truth. There were times where I had though about telling him. I knew that he would accept my decision to stay with Quaxo, whether he trusted him or not. He would not scold me or be disappointed; he would just be there, like he always was.

The day I had decided I was going to tell him, Plato was the one who halted me. I remember the pained look in his eyes, like he didn't want to tell me something. I realized he felt guilty for telling me that I shouldn't tell Asparagus. As much as he would accept me, his sense of duty was just as strong as his love for me. He would mean no harm, but he would feel a need to tell the Jellicles that Quaxo was still in the yard, and that I was still with him. At best, he would tell Jelly, who wouldn't be as accepting, but as worrying as a mother could be. I had sighed but conceded to Plato's point.

However, that didn't stop be from remaining attached to Asparagus, even if guilt seemed to gnaw at me whenever I was with him. I couldn't get the time he stuck up for me out of my head. It was like a shadow in the back of my mind, reminding me of how noble a cat he was and how dirty I was for letting him continue to believe those were my feelings. It didn't help that I could tell from the look in his eyes that he thought my silence was from a similar depression.

But understanding was understanding, and we both remained at ease in the silence. I was either sitting at his side or following him around like a little kitten. I think he enjoyed that part or our time together. I could see from the glint in his eyes when he would turn to see me following him that he was remembering simpler times, the same ones that I wished for everyday. At those times he would chuckle and hold out his paw. I always took hold of his sturdy paws. I had forgotten how comforting a father's paw and silence could be. I always flashed him the smile that he acted like lived for.

Even though I was almost constantly stressed about the upcoming deadline, at least some of my final times were pleasant. And at least Asparagus would have pleasant memories of me after I left…

I let out a disgusted noise as I sat back up, running my paws desperately through my headfur. It seemed I just couldn't shake these pessimistic feelings. Maybe I just needed to accept that my life couldn't be as perfect as I thought it would be. Maybe I was not spending my energy wisely. Should I put all my efforts into discretely saying my goodbyes instead of planning in secret corners? I could be spending more time with Jelly, making her proud as I danced for her like I used to. Jem would love those pretty books I had; I could 'lend' them to her. I think Plato would love my mirror ball. At least I would love to give it to him, I didn't want him to forget me.

I let out and even louder disgusted noise as I quickly stood up and clenched my fists. I couldn't let these demons take hold of me! I couldn't succumb to my weaknesses! Quaxo was an innocent and good tom, if I could just show the Jellicles that, they would accept him, no matter his past. They were a good group of cats.

I took a quick glance, scoping out the clearing a little ways off. The cats were peacefully going about their lives. I could see Pounce and Tumble in an acrobatics contest against Mungo and Teazer. Cassandra was draped lethargically across Alonzo as he faced at the sky with his arms behind his head, his eyes were closed in what looked like a peaceful dream. Jelly and Jenny were bent over their stiching as Skimble was telling what appeared to be a stimulating story. His eyes were glistening as his arms waved wildly. I could only guess that something exciting had happened on the Night Mail. Demeter was sunning herself luxuriously next to her scarlet sister. Munk sat on top of the TSE car watching over the clearing before him. Every once and a while he turned to comment to his maned brother, who reclined against the boot of the car. Addie and Jem were enwrapped in some book or other. Jem sat daintily on Addie's lap, her head resting against his shoulder as his paw tracked their progress across the pages. Lectra was in what seemed to be a philosophical conversation with Tantomile and Coricopat. The psychic twins nodded, laughed, and even argued in sync. A ways away from the peaceful cats, I could see Plato and Cetty caught in a playful game of tag. Their laughter seemed to fill the clearing and drifted towards me.

As genuine as the laughter seemed, all I could feel was a sense of lonliness when it reached my ears.

The scene before me was such a pretty picture. It really was beautiful moment, and one I had lived and grown up with almost all of my life. Everyone had given me so much and meant so much more to me. But no matter where I looked, I couldn't find a place where I belonged. It seemed like before I had fit in without even trying, but now I would only be intruding on someone's peace and happiness.

When had I allowed myself to become so separated from the tribe? It didn't even seem like anyone noticed I wasn't there. It wasn't that nobody cared, I knew that, but it was that I had alienated myself. I had set myself apart from the tribe so much that I was no longer easily worked into the framework. More cats would probably notice if I _was_ there over not being there.

However, I wasn't saddened by this realization, because I knew that the reason I didn't have a place to belong was because it was in another clearing, waiting for me. I should be with two strong arms and deep copper eyes that always smiled at me. I would go wherever they were, and I would always be home.

Maybe I should just forget the deadline. Perhaps I shouldn't even say goodbye. I didn't want to remember those I love crying or making empty promises. Maybe I should just leave with Quaxo as soon as possible.

I smiled at myself and looked at the sky; it was around noon. I had plenty of time and daylight left. I turned to glance once more at the loving scene before me. This was how I wanted to remember the junkyard. I wanted to memorize every detail and burn it in my memory. I wanted to always picture the most loving tribe of cats imaginable.

After I took in my fill and my vision began to blur from tears, I turned my back to my old family. It was time to find Quaxo and I headed towards our secret clearing.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't too boring…no dialogue or anything. Sorry. Funny enough, I really had to resist the urge to quote Lady Gaga/Beyonce about trust being like a mirror. Haha, hope the painting wasn't too stupid. It was hard to try and convey what I wanted. Anyways, updates hopefully soon!**


	21. Gone

**Chapter 21: Gone**

**A/N: Well here is the next installment! I hope you enjoy it. I'm not sure if I'm having trouble writing because I had been gone for so long and need to slip back into Vik's fur, or if it's 'cause I just don't want the story to end. Though I have been ruminating some other stories… hmmm… Well please feel free to review and tell me what you think! **

I slowly but carefully picked my way towards the clearing with each step reaffirming the decision I had made. I made sure to take a particularly winding path as I constantly looked over my shoulder. I had to make sure that no one was following my trail. However, I made a pit stop at my den to pick up my collar. I also knew that I had some time to kill; if anyone had been following me, I needed them to think had just been heading for my den.

I sat on my bed for a moment as I delicately secured the ornament around my neck. I let my paws fall to my lap, landing in a neat pile on top of _Romeo and Juliet_. I silently leafed through the destroyed pages. I let my mind wander as the words flew in front of my eyes.

I wondered who Romeo and Juliet were. What kind of trials had they been through? Were they best friends or were they ever in love? I looked up at the shelves of books as I held the valued tome squeezed against my chest. All those tales, all those lives stood displayed before me. I quickly found myself regretting my shallow treasure trove. Instead of merely collecting them because they were they were visually appealing, I began wishing I had thoroughly read them. What if somewhere in those stories, an answer to our problem had been recorded into history.

I sighed and stood to turn away from the bookshelf. I couldn't stand to look at the books anymore, there was no use contemplating what I couldn't change. As much as the thought inspired me now, I didn't have the time to read those stories, I just had to take what I had in front of me now. I carried the book to my vanity and placed it gently in front of the mirror and opened it, exposing the secret compartment.

I took a deep, steadying breath and began my work.

I turned to my collection of ribbons and picked through them. I quickly chose my two favorite ribbons, the baby blue one from before Quaxo's gift and a faded, ratty, red ribbon. The red ribbon was the first ribbon I was ever given; it was a gift from Asparagus and Jelly. I quickly but neatly folded the ribbons up and placed them in the book. Even though I loved my diamond collar, I knew that wherever Quaxo and I went, I would need to be practical and treasure his gift.

I then placed a small, travel brush in the compartment along with a few pretty trinkets that I hoped were of some value. I needed to be thinking ahead. I could only take the bare essentials, and even though I didn't really care about the trinkets, maybe there was something in them that we could use to trade with other cats.

I closed the book reverently in front of me with a final glance around the room. My gaze rested on the three pictures secured to my mirror. These were truly rare and valuable possessions.

Some time ago, what Addie called a camera had been dumped in the yard. Addie had spent most of his youth reading the human manuals that had been thrown away. After collecting any manual he could find and extensive reading, Addie had been declared the technology expert of the yard. When the camera had been dropped of in the dumpster, he told us that it was a special camera and we were in luck that there was still 'film' in it.

He told us that it was thrown because some device known as the flash wasn't working, but we could still use it. He showed us when we got in front of it and he pushed the button, and exact image known as a picture would come out of the bottom of the camera.

It didn't even matter that the flash wasn't working, because the tribe had used up the film before the day was out. I was graced with three pictures: one of my family with Jelly and Asparagus, one with the four female queen-kits, and the last one was a picture of Plato and I. I had my arms wrapped around Plato's waist as his arm draped casually around my shoulders. We both beamed at the camera, excited to have one of the last pictures for ourselves.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I slowly reached out to pull the pictures down. Each time the pictures tore free from the adhesives behind them, I flinched. It was as if as each picture came down, it cemented my decision. It as if there was no going back.

I silently slipped the pictures into the pages, making sure not a crease or fold appeared on the pictures. Once my book/makeshift suitcase was complete, I sat staring at the book that seemed to weigh exponentially more than it did before.

I grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper from a small pile in the corner of my den and methodically smoothed it out, placing an almost unreasonable amount of time in flattening each crease. I then grabbed a small stub of a pencil from a box under my vanity and sharpened it with my claws. Once I was satisfied with the tip, I sat gazing at the almost blank paper before me. Who did I want to write my note to? What exactly did I want to say?

The realization hit me that I didn't want to put all my muddied emotions on paper. I wasn't even sure I would be able to keep myself together while simply writing the note. No, I couldn't write a note to everyone. I simply put the pencil to paper and started writing what first came to mind.

The note was addressed to Plato. I hoped that he could convey those feelings that I felt I would only fail at expressing. I prayed that he could make the Jellicles understand why I left, why I was the new Grizabella.

I sniffled as I wiped a tear off of my nose, catching it before it hit the page.

I concluded the letter with the warmest farewells I could put into words. I wanted to make sure that Plato knew how much I would miss him. The hope that we would see each other again rang clear as I concluded with a promise to write to him soon.

Tears began to flow more freely as I folded the paper into thirds with as much care that I had used for flattening the page. I quickly placed the note in a box under my vanity that used to be a box where Plato and I would store secret messages for each other. Only he would think to look there.

My paw quickly retracted from the letter and the box as if it had been burned. I buried my face in my paws as my elbows rested on my knees. I finally let lose the torrent of tears that I had been fighting since I left the clearing.

Plato might not know, or he was fooling himself, but I knew that we would never see each other again after I left. No matter how much I would want to, it would be too dangerous. If the Jellicles still saw Quaxo as a traitor, and if I was seen as no better, then he would only be risking his standing in the tribe to see us. He needed to think about Cetty. Additionally, Macavity didn't take very kindly to losing his possessions, and losing Quaxo, one of his best magicians, would never be forgiven. I was willing to risk my life to be with Quaxo, but there was no reason to put Plato in jeopardy. No, I would write to Plato, but I needed to understand now that I would never see him or hear back because he could never be allowed to know where Quaxo and I settled, if we ever settled.

I sighed and shook my head, gathering the book up in my arms. I stood and turned, surveying my den for the last time. I batted my mirror ball for a final dance with my little snow fairies. I performed a quick pirouette and landed a little clumsily since my arms were burdened with my book.

I figured that I had spent enough time hiding in my den and tentatively stepped towards the entrance. I discretely peeked my head out the opening in the wardrobe and glanced at all the piles surrounding my den. I couldn't find any hint of an observer, not even a single piece of trash out of place.

Once I had made certain that my going would be safe and unobserved, I deftly stepped out of my den, and as I squinted in the glaring sunlight, I quickly ran through the junkyard. My back paws felt like they had grown wings as I sprinted towards the place where loneliness and sadness didn't belong. I ran towards my love, Quaxo.

A smile came to my face immediately as I saw Quaxo's back and his tail swishing back and forth. As I neared the entrance to our clearing, I saw that his tail was moving in exertion as he seemed to be studiously pushing a rather large television set towards the edge of the clearing.

I suppressed a giggle as I stood there and simply watched as my tom worked. I knew that he was doing it for me, for us. He wanted our clearing to be clean with as much passion as I had in the past. Even though I had not been able to spend too much time in the clearing, I knew how often trash must fall off the piles, and yet I never saw any. I could easily guess that Quaxo had been carefully clearing it away. It was his way of showing his hope. He was doing his best to demonstrate that he expected to stay in the yard and that our clearing needed to be clear so that we could dance in it every day. I saw his muscles strain as he tried to push the set a last few feet.

This time I couldn't suppress the giggle. I allowed my laughter to fill the clearing as I gingerly placed the book off to the side and trotted over to Quaxo. At the first sound of my laughter, the magical tom turned towards me, a smile already lit on his face.

He held his arms out to me as I ran to meet him. My paws found their place around his neck as his found where they belonged at my waist. I gave him a quick squeeze before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

His laughter mingled with mine as he nuzzled my neck. Anyone watching would have suspected that we were two lovers who had not seen each other for years. In fact, it had been less than twenty-four hours, but even that had been too long.

Our laughter turned to purrs as I continued to let out a few fits of giggles.

Quaxo's paws gently cupped my cheeks gazing intently into my eyes. I found myself lost in his copper pools. They seemed to dance with mischief. I wasn't sure if it was the magic burning deep within in him or if he was simply happy to see me. Whatever the reason was, I knew that I could get forever lost in them and never look away, and I would be blissfully enraptured for the rest of my life.

After a moment, his smile broke even wider, if that was possible, as he kissed my nose. "What's the good news? Did you think of something?" as he asked, his voice seemed to be tinged with the laughter he was suppressing.

I let a hint of sadness touch my heart before I quickly banished it. I couldn't suppress my smile as I leaned forward to kiss him a second time. I then took his paws in my own and kissed each center pad. I looked back into his eyes, resisting the urge to be lost in them again. I then gave my head a slight snake. "No, but our deadline is so close…I've just come to terms with the fact that its not going to happen."

I saw his eyes quickly fade and his smile became lost to me. He immediately looked away and refused to meet my eyes from that point on. He turned from me with a kind of awkwardness as if his limbs were numb.

I stood where I was, watching him as he began to pick up minute pieces of trash. It was the kind of trash that normally wouldn't be given a second glance in a clearing, but I could tell that Quaxo was just trying to keep his paws busy. I felt like he was mad at me, and I was the naughty kitten waiting for a generous word from her mother.

After a while of the silence, I was about to finally say something when Quaxo beat me to the punch.

"What if we made an extension?" His voice was low and gruff, but I could tell now that he wasn't mad, but just hurt. I could only guess that he was hurt that I had given up.

I hadn't thought about it, but what if he was depending on this plan as much as I had been? I could tell, even if no one else could, that he had loved his time with the tribe. He had finally had a family and friends. Just as much as he wanted me to be able to stay in the yard, he wished to stay as well.

I folded my paws in front of my chest watching the wind play with my fur. I remembered the clouds drifting through the sky, and immediately knew my answer. We couldn't keep living like this: a future uncertain. No, I was sure that this was an impossible task, and if we gave ourselves this one extension, there was no telling if we would have the control to stick to the next one. I didn't want to live like that and I knew that Quaxo didn't either. We had to face the truth and move forward without looking back.

I tried to answer him as gently as I could. I understood how he felt, and I didn't want him to think I had made this decision lightly. "Quaxo… We can't make an extension. Two weeks was plenty of time. As I said, I think Mac outplayed us a little…" I knew that he wouldn't like hearing that, but we couldn't stay in this yard in denial. So I tried to brighten up. I smiled again and ran to his side, wrapping one arm around his and seizing his other paw, trash and all. I squeezed his arm to my chest, purring happily. "But just think, once we leave, we can be together. No more only seeing each other for a few hours! No more hiding!"

He let a small smile curve the corner of his mouth and a tentative purr spring from his chest. He dropped the trash from his paw and reached out to cup my cheek. I willingly met his paw, my purr increasing in intensity when our eyes met. After a few moments of total bliss, he let his paw drop and fingered my collar absentmindedly. He let his eyes drop to the gems placed delicately around my neck.

After a few moments, he finally replied, his voice low and quiet; I had to strain to hear him. "I just want you to be happy…with me _and_ your family. I don't want to know that I made you leave…"

I was about to protest when he raised his paw to my cheek again and his eyes met mine. It was all I needed to tell that he wanted me to remain silent and let him finish.

"That being said, for me and for _you_, please don't give up. We still have over forty hours, there's plenty of time to think of something. And we won't leave if we come up with an idea. Even if you think up something in the last minute, I won't budge from this yard until we've tried it."

I smiled, taking his paw in mine, pressing it further against my cheek. I closed my eyes, making sure I chose each work carefully. "Thank you Quaxo. But I don't want you to feel any guilt. I promise you I'll keep trying to think of something, but I want you to know it's okay if we have to leave. You're right, I lived a wonderful life here and I love each cat in the junkyard. However, on that same note, since I had a wonderful, full, long life here, it's okay if I have to leave, as long as it means I can stay with you. You are my new life. Don't forget that."

His purr reignited and became much louder. "As long as you promise not to give up." He replied as he disentangled his arm from mine and took hold of my other cheek. He acted like he had only listened to the first half of my statement, but I knew he had heard the whole speech; I could tell by the light in his eyes.

He leaned forward, kissing me again. I couldn't suppress the shivers running up and down my spine. Even after all the kisses, he still had this affect on me. It felt very similar to the time he had let his actual magic flow through me, but I knew that this was different; this was the magic of us.

As he withdrew his face from mine, he began to wipe the tears from eyes. I wasn't sure what the source of the tears was, happiness or sadness, but his touch instantly comforted me.

"Just know that I will never make you choose between me and your family. If ever you want to stay here, I will always follow you." He purred as he wiped the last tear.

I rolled my eyes, letting a giggle escape. "It will never be a choice. I guess I'm in too deep." I said as I kissed his cheek.

With the conversation at an end, I bent over to pick up the trash that he had dropped. Unable to remove the smile from my face, I began skipping towards the edge of the clearing to deposit it in its rightful place on the pile.

As I made my away across the clearing, I couldn't help but think how much I had matured in the past week and a half. All those things I had noticed about my queen-friends I could actually apply to me. I had left kittenhood behind and finally grown up.

After I deposited my burden, I turned back to see Quaxo resting peacefully on our little tablecloth. I couldn't suppress the smile as I began to jog over to join him.

However, in the middle of my travel, a kind of fluttering caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see the wind blowing my book open as the picture of Plato and I escaped its paper confines.

I let out a shriek as I sprinted after the renegade picture. I could only think of a few times where my feet moved with the same speed and desperation. I quickly picked my way up the junk pile, reaching out and grabbing the picture at the last minute.

Just as my paw grasped the picture, a sickening noise reached my ears. It was a sound I had only heard once before. It was an explosion, a decimation of the peace that had so frailly been built.

I let my limbs go dead as I slid down the pile landing in a heap on my tail. I sat there for a minute, not sure if I had imagined what I heard.

A second explosion echoed through the clearing. The noise seemed to jar me out of my trance and I was quickly on my feet. I ran across the clearing and threw my arms around Quaxo's neck, tears pouring from my eyes.

"Please!" I shrieked, terror reverberating through my voice. I could tell from the look on Quaxo's face that I hadn't been making up the noise in my head. "Please! Don't leave me! You could get hurt or even killed! You can't go! We-we could just leave! I can't be alone!"

My mind had became so selfish and one-tracked. All that maturity that I had been contemplating was gone.

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun! Well my dear readers, we are nearing the end! I hope you enjoyed! Please review, it always inspires me to read them! **


	22. Why?

**Chapter 22: Why?**

**A/N: So here's the next installment! The end is so close, but obviously my previous estimate was a little off. But I know there can't be too many chapters left. I'm going to try my luck again and say two maybe? But don't worry! I have been sitting on some other ideas for stories… Anyways, hope you like it. I'm a little worried. The whole time I was writing the first half, all I could think of was déjà vu…but it just seemed to fit and I couldn't think of something that I liked better. Oh well! Let me know what you think and review! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cats. But if you are wondering, my cat **_**is **_**named Skimbleshanks! **

Quaxo just stared through me as if trying to make out something going on in the distance. I quickly cupped his face in my paws and looked intently in his unfocused eyes. I felt as if I was trying to will him to come back and focus on me. I kept blinking away the tears giving his face gentle shakes. "P-please…I-I don't want to be alone…you could get h-hurt…" My comments had turned into hollow mantras that I could only hope still held some meaning.

During these tense moments Quaxo's gaze kept flickering back at me, but I couldn't seem to keep his attention.

Eventually his ochre eyes focused on me and held my own. All sparks and magic seemed to be gone, and I could see myself reflected in his dulled eyes. It wasn't a pretty sight. Even though I had been crying for such a short time, I had apparently been doing it hard enough that my eyes were red and swollen. I had to look away; I couldn't bear to see his despair or my own reflection in his eyes.

I could feel his eyes still watching me intently as I heard him let out his breath. I felt him gently but firmly take my paws in his and I think he kissed them, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was scared. All I could do was firmly grasp his paws, unwilling to let go. He somehow freed one paw from my grip and brought it to my cheek in order to force me to face him.

His face was lit with a smile that his eyes just couldn't match. His voice was low and sad, "No, we can't do that Victoria."

I flinched as he said my full name. The despair that echoed in each syllable sent a new wave a tears flowing down my cheeks.

"You know that I can't do that. I helped the yard get into this mess. Even if they won't accept or welcome me, I have to do everything I can to help them… I've _got_ to do everything in my powers to fight Macavity." His eyes left mine and went back to gazing across the clearing as if he could see the main one.

As his eyes left mine and he uttered that cursed name I jerked my paws away from him and pulled my face out of his grasp. I wrapped my arms around my midriff and allowed my paws to clutch the fur on my sides, keeping my claws from pricking my pads. "No!" I hissed, keeping my voice equally low and dangerous. "You don't owe them _anything_!"

There was a tense silence as I glared at Quaxo as if challenging him. However, my nerve eventually faltered because I knew that he was right. My gaze dropped as my tail swished angrily back and forth. I also knew that I owed my tribe just as much if not more than he did. I was instantly ashamed by my behavior.

Even though our little exchange had felt like an eternity, I knew that only a few simple moments had passed.

A third explosion rang through the clearing, the sound echoing off of the piles of junk and seeming to pound on my head. This time, in addition to the explosion, screams made their way into the clearing, trailing after the blast.

I felt my knees become instantly weak and my legs gave out. I was sure I was going to hit the ground with a painful thud to the knees when I felt a secure arm wrap around my waist. Quaxo's face was only a few inches from mine, his breath was labored and his eyes were filled with pain. He gently lowered me to my knees and held my paws together in front of him as he stood before me.

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. When he pulled his head back to look at me, I saw a new kind of glint in his eyes, this one created by tears. "I have to go…Viki." His voice had sweetened. "But please, stay here. I can't be worrying about your safety."

I held my tongue. I didn't want to ruin this moment by pointing out the aggravating hypocrisy of his statement.

He looked at me intently. He then proceeded to kiss each paw, my nose, and then finally he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for a final, desperate kiss. I couldn't help but match his desperation.

Quaxo finally withdrew, but held my paws firmly, keeping me from ensnaring him in my embrace once again. This time, he made no attempt to try and suppress his tears. "I love you." He whispered as he rose to leave. "Please stay. I love you, Viki." His last words were so quiet that I wasn't even sure if he had said anything at all.

I choked on my words and my tears as I watched him leave my field of vision. I could only stare at the ground as I tried to formulate my thoughts. I eventually regained my voice and spun around half shouting, "I love you too Quaxo!" But it was too late, he was already gone and I was sure that he couldn't have heard me.

Another explosion followed by screams filled the clearing again, except the hisses did not die down. I was sure that the fighting had ensued. I immediately clamped my paws over my ears and held my eyes shut. I wanted everything to go away, I had hoped that I would never have to hear those shouts of pain or see Macavity again.

I tentatively lifted my paws off of my ears and the screaming and hissing seemed even louder than when I had tried to block them out. My eyes shot open as I stared at the ground before me and my paws clenched into fists.

As I had told myself before, I owed more to the tribe than I had ever given them! I couldn't listen to Quaxo's request because I, just like him, had to do everything in my power to protect those I loved. Isn't that why I had been trying to stay, to protect my family? Now, when their need was most dire was I going to abandon them? It didn't matter what the risk was, I had to do what I could.

I quickly stood up and began to silently follow the path Quaxo had taken. I could hear the hissing growing louder and louder. I knew that I was getting closer. I tried my best to ignore the sense of déjà vu that seemed to course through me. The only difference that kept my feet moving was the idea that this time, I was going to do the right thing and stand by my tom, no matter the outcome.

I decided to split off from the trail to the main clearing and take a lesser-known path to an almost forgotten entrance. As I approached the clearing, the density of the junk seemed to increase and I resorted to climbing over items of trash that had been allowed to remain on the trail that had been given up on.

Once I reached the main clearing, I dived behind a large, white refrigerator sitting at the edge. I knew that I was not a cat who could easily blend, but the white of the refrigerator was the best option I had. Luckily for me, there was a small whole in the back that was just large enough to allow me to pass into the main cavity of the appliance. Once I was inside, I gently nudged the door open just enough to allow me to poke my head out of and survey the scene before me. I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I had to understand the situation before I went charging into it.

As I tried to list all of my options, I silently cursed that I had been so shallow and lazy in my youth. I had the option to go to combat training with the other toms like Teazer did, but I thought that it was too much work and too 'boyish'. How could I have been so ignorant?

I quickly cleared my head and focused my attention back on the clearing in front of me. It seemed that a standoff had arisen. I could see the tense protectors of the tribe splitting their attention between their attackers and those they were trying to protect.

Movement caught my eyes as I saw Plato helping Jelly and Jenny as they began to gather the female kits once again. Cetty was hissing and spitting at nearby henchcats as she fought Plato's firm grasp on her. I could just make out her pleas, begging Plato to allow her to help. Her gaze turned to him with the most serious and dedicated expression that I had ever seen grace my friend's face. It almost seemed as if it didn't belong. I read her lips as she looked Plato straight in the eyes, "I can help."

Plato's back was to me, and I couldn't see his reaction. I couldn't guess it either. I was ashamed to admit that I didn't really know how he acted around Cetty as a tomfriend. I had never taken the time to care. I had rejoiced in their relationship, but I had been too absorbed in my own problems.

Was he overjoyed that she wanted to help and protect him? Perhaps he was only filled with pain because he didn't want to see her hurt. Did he feel as I did that such an experience shouldn't have been thrust on what was once such a carefree kitten? Maybe it was a combination of everything?

Whatever he was feeling, Plato seemed to slowly and sadly shake his head as he continued to shepherd Cetty out of the clearing with the other girls.

While the kittens were being taken back to their safe haven, I saw Jelly frantically looking through the gathering of cats. I heard my name screamed across the clearing. I could tell Jelly was nervous and looking for her only kit.

I quickly pulled my head back into my hiding spot, trying to control my breathing. Just what was I thinking? I couldn't fight. I was sure they would try and pull me out of the clearing the second I emerged. I knew that if I really wanted to help, I would need to wait until the fighting began.

I slowly peeked out again, coming out much more slowly and cautiously this time. A new object caught my gaze as I saw a petite figure near the entrance from the clearing into the rest of the junkyard. It was the entrance I would have ended up at if I hadn't changed my course. My eyes focused past all of the commotion of the tribe and I saw Quaxo crouched in an attacking stance. Luckily, he seemed to be at the back of the clearing with everyone's attention focused on the opposite side.

Then I noticed his face; a look of pure disgust was painted on his face. I slowly turned my gaze to see the horror that had captured everyone's attention.

My progress increased rapidly as a second terrifying but familiar sound reached my ears. Macavity was picking his way down a small pile of junk flanked by multiple henchcats. His crooked grin was plastered on his face as he held his arms out like a shepherd welcoming the return of his lost flock.

"It's been too long." He purred. He seemed to make his way without needing to glance at his feet. His tail began to sway from side to side with movements like a snake. It was the most mesmerizing motion he could have done. I found my eyes following its every sway and movement, hypnotized by the simplicity of its path accompanied by his low, throaty voice. I had to tear myself away and look at his back paws, refusing to be taken in by his tail.

After a moment of tense silence, the criminal mastermind brought one of his paws to his mouth and let out a long shrill whistle.

The henchcats immediately responded to this signal. Four cats appeared at the peak of the pile carrying a large animal carrier that appeared to be extremely heavy.

Suspicious hisses erupted from the cats below.

"SHUT IT!" Yelled Macavity, breaking his usual cool demeanor. He waved his paw and an explosion erupted on a pile of junk that was hosting the perch of the psychic twins. Tantomile and Coricopat quickly tucked and rolled out of the way as if they saw the attack coming. However, the trick worked and the hissing stopped immediately.

The Napoleon of Crime cleared his throat and theatrically gestured towards the crate as his henchcats slinked back down the junk pile.

I squinted and craned my neck trying my best to see the carrier. All I could tell was that it was a sturdy, well-built one and that it seemed to be lined with some kind of dark fabric. I felt my curiosity peak, but I know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. I stayed planted to my spot, waiting for an explanation.

After another, quieter throat clearing, Macavity began to purr loudly. His next statement was low and throaty, "I do believe you are missing someone."

Hisses and growls that could not be suppressed erupted anew as the cats began to inch closer towards their enemy. Their advance was quickly quelled by an overwhelming number of stoic henchcats.

I heard a screech tear across the clearing as Jelly began to scream my name in hysterics. I quickly ducked my head low but couldn't bear to retract it into my shelter. I had to know what was going on.

Each shrill calling of my name was like a shot to the heart, but I didn't dare reveal myself, not yet. Even though I only wanted to soothe the queen who had always been there fore me, I knew that they would only take me away. I needed to be there…with Quaxo. Hearing Jelly wail, I couldn't even imagine what he was thinking? Did he think as she did?

Just as I was about to withdraw my head and find a better location, the thought that only I could surmise occurred to me. I clearly wasn't the Jellicle in the crate, so who did Macavity have? I began trying my best to survey the clearing to guess, but it was too hard from my vantage point.

A low, menacing chuckle reached my ears, and they instinctively swiveled back to pick up more details.

Then it hit me like a tire falling off of a junk pile. A different, soft, familiar voice reached me. I was frozen with fear yet I somehow found the strength to turn my head to confirm what I was hearing and that it was coming from that carrier. "My kits? Please…my children…"

All thoughts flew from my mind. Nothing mattered now but action. Without hesitation I leaped into the clearing, my hackles raised and my teeth bared. I let out a venomous snarl at Macavity before turning back to my tribe mates behind me. "Old Deuteronomy! He has Deuteronomy!" I yelled as I flung my paw into the air, pointing at the carrier on the top of the pile.

I was met with shocked faces. I wasn't sure if it was because I was in the clearing and ready to fight or if it was because of the severity of my statement. However the shock only lasted and instant before I saw the fury enter the cats eyes as they advanced on the henchcats.

In the split moment before the two forces collided, I looked towards the edge of the clearing to see a pale Quaxo. I swallowed hard as our eyes met. His eyes were dull and filled with terror. I could only assume that mine were the same way. I hadn't listened to him. I was surrounded by the violence that he had only hoped to keep me from.

My breathing became labored as I tore my gaze away from his. It didn't matter now; he would have to understand. I had two duties laid before me and I was intent on filling both. The first was that I had to save Deuteronomy. I was still a Jellicle of this tribe and I couldn't turn my back on the tom that was like a father to us all. The second duty that was even closer to my heart was to help eliminate Macavity. I would be ridding my family of a constant threat, but I really wanted to do what I could to eliminate the pain from Quaxo's life.

As I tore myself away, I heard Deuteronomy's call to us grow louder. I could only assume that he was calling us on. I was unsure what to do at this point. I had no combat training and it seemed as if the shock was catching up to me.

Luckily, I turned back towards to tribe, hoping to glean a hint of what to do next. Just as I turned, I saw Alonzo snarl (not that I could hear it over the combat) and run towards me with a rock in paw. I quickly realized that I was standing between him and Macavity. I dived out of the way just as the patched tom threw the rock with full force. A hench cat immediately pounced on the angered tom and a violent struggle ensued.

I knew that Alonzo hadn't been aiming at me and that he only had tunnel vision for Macavity. However, I couldn't get the image out of my head of what would have happened if I hadn't turned at that moment. Was this a part of war? Did I really belong here?

Macavity quickly jumped out of the way, leaping to the closest pile. Addie and Tumble sprinted up the pile, picking their path with expert eyes; they had the home field advantage. In no time the two brave toms had chased the wiry cat over the pile and were somewhere unseen in the junkyard.

It seemed as if everyone had forgotten my presence. Even Jelly and Asparagus were fighting with the henchcats, though I think they were fighting towards me.

Inspiration hit me and my legs found their strength once again. I was quickly on my paws and determined to use my relative unknown presence to my advantage. I turned on my heels and dashed for the junk pile where Deuteronomy was held, calling.

However, I was not the best climber in the tribe and my pace was slow and deliberate. All that mattered was that I reached the top. Not too long after I began my ascent, I heard paws close behind me. I fleetingly glanced behind me to see Pounce, Munk, and Tugger quickly gaining.

The three toms quickly surpassed my progress and I struggled to keep up. I threw caution to the wind as I tried my best to only remain a tail's length away from the fit toms.

Deuteronomy continued to call to us. I could only imagine how scared he was. And yet, something about his call seemed odd as I drew closer. I quickly shook my head and redoubled my efforts. My thoughts were reeling from being a part of this struggle, a struggle I never should have entered, and now my mind was playing tricks on me.

I saw that Munk had finally reached to top and was cautiously approaching the carrier. The other toms were climbing the last few steps to the summit while I struggled with the last few feet. As I reached the top, the three toms looked at each other and approached the crate trying their best to soothe the distressed Deuteronomy. Munk held his paws out cautiously as he knelt at the carrier's locked door.

Suddenly I felt a force yank me backwards, flinging my head forwards. I felt my body bend in half and my forehead collided with my knee. It felt as if strong paws were wrapped around my waist wrenching me away from the crate as I flew threw the air.

The arms left my waist and my body began to freefall towards the ground. I quickly tried to blink the stars from my eyes and piece together what had happened. All I knew was one second I was at the top of the pile and the next I was in the air. Were the others okay? Had they saved Old Deuteronomy?

I felt my body hit the ground and the stars reappeared in my vision as my breath fled my body. I struggled as I assumed I was staring at the sky. I blinked multiple times, trying to clear my vision. I desperately heaved my chest up and down, trying my best to recapture the air, it seemed as if I couldn't get enough. Once I finally could see the uncaring blue sky and had enough oxygen in my body to support myself, I quickly rolled onto my stomach and the forced myself up, though I could only make it to my knees before I had to pause again for breath.

I glanced around, trying to make sense of what had happened. I soon realized that the others climbers were in the same state I was. The three toms were in various states of recovery. Tugger was on his feet, but appeared uncertain of the ground beneath him. Pounce groaned as he remained lying on his back with his paws covering his face. Munk had rolled onto his stomach as well and was shakily gathering his limbs under him.

I blinked some more as if I needed to further clear my vision in order to fully understand what had just happened. I wasn't even sure what to do next or even where to look.

Even in my state of shock, I soon realized that the clearing was unusually quiet. I began to steady my head and look around from face to face. Everyone seemed to be staring at one point behind me. I slowly stood and turned, praying that I had the stomach to face what ever it was, because from the look on everyone's face, it was a repulsing vision.

It felt as if the wind was knocked out of me a second time as I took in the sight now before me. Quaxo stood just inside the edge of the clearing. His face alit with worry and a slight shine of perspiration was on his brow. Small sparks, like fireflies, danced around his outstretched paws.

I swallowed hard as I looked down at myself. The same little fireflies danced gaily around my waist. I slowly glanced over my shoulders to see the fireflies I had failed to notice on the others as well.

I turned back and took a cautious step towards the magical tom, towards my love.

Why?

**A/N: What did you think?**


	23. Help Him!

**Chapter 23: Help Him!**

**A/N: Okay. For real now, only two more chapters. We are coming to a close. :( but I have been contemplating/outlining some other ideas. So hopefully there won't be too much downtime after this story. That being said, I hope you enjoy and review! Thanks to everyone that has reviews so far, it really does help!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own cats, just the idea of this story. **

Why?

I took another cautionary step, unsure of what had happened and what was happening. No one had move or uttered a sound. It felt as if time had slowed down. I knew that milliseconds were passing, but my mind was racing as I took in everything around me. Even still, my mind just couldn't seem to process it. What Quaxo had done was so extreme…he couldn't have done it, right?

I was just about to put my mental question into audible words when I was stopped by another light tugging on my waist. As I looked down, the sparks around my waist reappeared brighter than before, matching the sparks at his paws. My eyes grew wide as I was slowly and gently pulled towards Quaxo, his arms opened in a welcoming embrace.

So he had done it… He had pulled us off of the pile… Why?

Now, instead of racing, it felt as if my mind was shutting down.

"_Don't touch her!_" A low and ferocious snarl came from just behind me. The sparks began to fade as I halted in my journey towards Quaxo. I turned ever so slightly to glance over my shoulder.

The tom crouching behind me shocked me. Alonzo stood tense and ready to pounce, a snarl viciously planted on his face. I was ashamed to note a small feeling of happiness in the deep recesses of my heart. I didn't realize how much I had let his hate weigh on me, and how much better it felt to have him protect me.

My contemplation was broken as I could faintly hear Old Deuteronomy call out again. "Please. My ki-kits!"

It suddenly hit me, Deuteronomy hadn't stuttered. I knew that I had a split second to react as I watched Alonzo lunge for Quaxo growling, "_Don't ever touch her again!_"

I didn't even have time to think as I threw myself right in Alonzo's path. I felt his body make excruciating contact with mine as my limbs were knocked out from under me. Even though I knew it was futile, I tried my best to wrestle the overpowering tom to the ground. I tried my hardest. Quaxo needed me!

It didn't take long for me to feel the tide of the wrestling match change as the element of surprise left Alonzo. I could also feel the newfound rage radiate through his body as he realized what had happened. Whatever happiness I had found in the thought of Alonzo defending me was gone, because now I was sure that he hated me.

I felt my back hit the ground as my head made contact with a sickening thump and stars flashed before my eyes. I blinked them away quickly as I realized they were mixed with tears.

To my horror, I watched as Alonzo lifted his paw ready to strike me. I felt my entire body tense, but I was determined not to look away from my attacker. I wanted Alonzo to see my face and remember my eyes if he hit me.

A blur rushed into the corner of my vision as a small black tom leapt for Alonzo's arm and held it in place. My eyes focused on Quaxo snarling as he put all his strength into holding the patched tom's paw frozen in the air.

I quickly took the moment I was given, determined to make the most of it. My paws wrapped around Alonzo's other arm as I held my face to his wrist and tried my best to quell the torrent of tears. "Please! Alonzo! _Listen!_" I knew I was shouting to be heard and my voice cracked under the strain.

Alonzo and Quaxo both stopped their snarling, but I wasn't sure if it was because of my request or if they were shocked at the urgency in my voice. Whatever the reason, I got what I wanted as silence filled the clearing once again.

As I was trying to find the words to convey everything that had transpired, I was interrupted as Old Deuteronomy began to laugh in his crate. It was a haunting laugh and one that never belonged in the Jellicle Junkyard. The chuckling soon evolved into Macavity's cackle. His laugh lasted just long enough to surely be recognized before the crate exploded causing the ground to shake and junk to rain down upon the yard.

After the dust settled and the trash stopped falling, I looked up to find the junk pile completely annihilated. I swallowed hard, paralyzed with fear. I realized that even though so much had just happened, only a few seconds had passed since I was at the top of the pile. Even if Munk had seen the bomb for what it was, there would have been no way for any of us cats to escape that explosion.

I couldn't help but smile a little bit. I was slightly happy that everyone was safe, but the real source of my joy was that everyone must see the truth now. Everyone had to know that Quaxo had saved four cats and exposed Macavity's plan. There couldn't be any doubt; they had to know that he was on their side!

Uncertainty soon washed over me as I felt Alonzo's paws begin to tremble. His face was scrunched in some kind of combination of pain and rage. Looking at him made me nervous, I had seen that face before when he was fighting Macavity's henchcats. Alonzo was entering into a blind rage.

I tried to quickly grab his arm again, by my numb limbs were still in shock and Alonzo seemed to gather his strength faster than I had. He quickly tossed me aside as he pivoted with a snarl to face Quaxo. He was easily able to free his paw from Quaxo's grasp as I rolled away from under their paws.

Even though I was looking from ground to sky as I rolled away, I could hear Alonzo's powerful paws push against the ground as he yelled, "What have you done?"

I quickly rolled to my paws screaming Quaxo's name as I reoriented myself.

Quaxo briefly glanced at me before ducking and turning to avoid Alonzo's lunge and flailing claws. Luckily Alonzo wasn't too concerned with precision since his anger blinded him into fighting like a young over enthused kitten.

I stood at the edge of the clearing, separate from all the stunned cats. No one tried to comfort me, but I wasn't looking for any anyways. I longed to run to Quaxo's aid, but I knew that I would only be in the way. I had already broken my promise when I came to the clearing, I wasn't going to make it worse by entering the fight between the toms. At the same time, I was also shocked. How could Alonzo not see that Quaxo was innocent? How could he still gaze upon the tuxedoed tom with an accusing eye?

Alonzo continued to growl through the silence has his claws clumsily tried to make contact with Quaxo. "How could you? What if Old Deuteronomy was in there? Do you have no mercy? We could have saved him and you stopped us!"

I had to give it to Quaxo, not once did he try and raise a paw against Alonzo. It seemed more like a dance to him as he gracefully danced out of the patched tom's reach. "Please! Alonzo! That's not it! It was a trick!"

"Liar! How can we trust you?" His snarl turned into a hiss as he leapt for Quaxo again. And even though I knew that Quaxo was more than competent when it came to avoiding Alonzo, I still called his name as Alonzo got to close for my comfort.

The rest of the tribe continued to stand in shocked silence. I couldn't help but think that they were secretly praying that Alonzo would catch Quaxo. The tension in the air was overwhelming and I called for Quaxo again. But this time I wasn't yelling his name to warn him, but begging him to come to me. I just wanted Quaxo's paw to be in mine, I wanted to feel his warmth, hear his breathing, and feel his heartbeat.

Quaxo quickly glanced at me as he ducked under another attempt at a fight. He swiftly began to make his way towards me. I instinctively held my paws out to him, ready to tell him how much I believed him and that he always belonged with me.

I watched as he froze midstride as a look of horror began to grow on his face. Alonzo also stopped as he pivoted ready for an easy tackle. He didn't rise from his crouched position, but he didn't make the attack either. The two toms stood stock still as they continued to stare at me. It didn't take long for me to realize that they weren't actually looking at me, but _past_ me.

My entire body instantly stiffened as I sensed the danger in their stares and a kind of cowardice overwhelmed me as I refused to look behind me. But I didn't have to wait too long before strong paws with sharp claws snaked their way around my waist, yanking me back. I was surprised when I felt warmth radiating from the body held close to me. I knew from looking at the matted red paws at my waist and the dagger-like claws pricking my sides that I was in the embrace of Macavity himself. Even though I knew that it was silly, I was surprised that he was warm…he was always so cold, I had just always imagined that his body matched his personality, that he couldn't be the same type of creature as the rest of the Jellicles.

If it was possible, I stiffened more and steeled my gaze to stare straight ahead at Quaxo. I wasn't going to give Macavity any satisfaction; he couldn't know the terror that was coursing through me, and Quaxo's eyes were the only things that helped me to keep my resolve.

"Well, well, well. So here we are again, my dear. You really do look just like your mother…if you can ignore the shorter fur ungraciously given to you by your incompetent father..." His hiss was low and right in my ear. I could feel his breath toying with the fur at my ears. I tried to redouble my resolve and ignore everything but the copper eyes watching me with the greatest concern possible.

Quaxo, Alonzo, and few other cats made a few cautionary but urgent steps in our direction. I heard Macavity quickly tut at them as he freed one of his paws from my waist and rest it gently on my collar, with its dagger-like edge pressed against my throat. His threat was enough for everyone to freeze, though hisses erupted all around.

I swallowed hard as my terror mounted. My resolve was beginning to crack and my senses became overly sensitive. The claw at my neck felt as if it was already piercing me, and the heat radiating from his body was unbearable; it felt as if I was on fire. I would have even sworn that I could hear his heartbeat!

My gaze was pulled away from Quaxo as I saw Alonzo turn towards the rest of the tribe, a look of pure resolve on his face. "Why don't we just get him? She's clearly on his side anyways! She attacked me and defended that _murderer_!" I winced, pulling my gaze back to an equally pained Quaxo, who became tenser as he prepared to stop Alonzo from any action that would harm me.

No one could response to Alonzo's plea because Macavity quickly regained control of the conversation. "Now, my dear _friends_, let's calm down, no need for hasty actions…" I felt his claw relax ever so slightly. He couldn't be pitying me, could he?

The entire clearing became dead silent as I watched every cat tense. It seemed like even Alonzo couldn't actually bring himself to any action. Even if they didn't trust me, I assumed they couldn't watch one of their own killed in front of them, especially if there was something that could have been done to stop it. I let out a little sigh of relief; at least I had their memories of me on my side, stopping them. The only sound that could be heard was the distressed breathing of Jellylorum.

"I am all for causing chaos and dissent, but I must say, that last stunt was so brilliant that I can't let anyone else take the credit from me." His purr was soft and soothing, but not enough to calm me. "That was all my idea there. I'm actually a bit upset that he ruined it. I relished the thought of eliminating some of the biggest thorns in my side when it comes to this yard."

I saw Munk and Tugger stiffen as I could only assume that Macavity had somehow indicated them.

"Though it would have been quite the extra bonus to kill some silly kit and this peke of a queen!" His voice turned menacing as he shook my body briefly. "You have ruined quite a lot of my plans, and taken one of my best agents. I regard my agents as my property… and I don't like others stealing my things!" He hissed as his grip came tighter.

A brief flicker of movement caught my eyes. I glanced to the corner of my vision without turning my head to see Plato crouched low and a few feet to the left of Macavity and me. His tail swished violently in agitation. I returned my eyes to Quaxo, trying my best to regain my resolve and feel secure.

As soon as I felt I had mastered myself enough to resume breathing, I felt Macavity leaning forward to whisper in my ear. However, he wasn't really whispering because almost every cat in the clearing could hear him. "Do you know everything you cost me? Do you know everything he's done for me?"

"_Macavity!_" Quaxo snarled, lowering himself towards the ground in an aggressive crouching position. "You're issue is with me, not her!"

Macavity straightened as he pressed his claw deeper into my throat. I was sure he was about to break the skin. Tears immediately began to spring to my eyes as my resolve shattered. "Really? I do believe otherwise. You were happy to work for me until you met this 'pretty little angel'. But I don't think she fully understands what she's cost me, I just thought I should let her know why she is in trouble." His voice became parent-like as if he was talking to a kitten and his attention turned back to me. "I mean aside from him willingly kill your mother and infiltrating this cursed place, Quaxo was really an invaluable resource for me."

"Shut up! Don't listen to him Victoria!" Quaxo yelled, as he remained frozen in his offensive stance.

Macavity began to list horrible, horrible deeds that he had ordered Quaxo to do. Orders that only a real monster could fulfill and many of them tied back to harming the Jellicles. I could hear the smile in his voice as Macavity rejoiced in reliving the memories.

"_Victoria_! You can't listen to him! He's lying!" I couldn't bring myself to look Quaxo in the eye as he continued to scream as if he was trying to drown out the voice in my ear. His voice became piercing and desperate. "_Please! I did kill your mother, and I did work for him giving him information about the yard, but that's it! I swear! Everything else is a lie!_"

My eyes shot to meet his. He was admitting to one of his crimes, and the tone of his pleas forced me to gaze upon this unholy monster that Macavity was describing. In that instant it hit me. Macavity was lying! I saw the desperation and despair flood into Quaxo's eyes as he continued to deny every word that came out of Macavity's poisonous mouth. Even though I had no proof, in fact Macavity had most of the evidence on his side, I knew deep in my heart that Quaxo couldn't have done any of the other crimes. I just _knew_ it. He was too loving, too innocent, too honest.

When our eyes met, Quaxo must have sensed my newfound conviction as he immediately stopped howling and even let a small smile grace his face. The relief in his eyes made a similar smile spring to my face as I ignored the salty taste from my terrified tears.

Macavity must have also sense that he was no longer getting anywhere and his venomous words quickly transformed into deadly threats, each threat more terrifying and painful than the last.

But he had done more than he had expected. His words had planted a seed of courage somewhere deep within me. I wasn't going to be weak anymore. I wasn't going to let anyone influence me! In that split second when my eyes met Quaxo's, my heart steeled itself into a hard resolve. Now was the time to live up to all those promises I had made to Quaxo and myself.

Clearly Macavity wasn't expecting any kind of fight from me, and I easily spun in his arms and came face to face with the menace. Had only a fleeting moment to act before the tom came out of his shock. Before I knew what I was doing, I felt my claws unsheathe and make contact with Macavity's face. I pulled my arm down with all my strength making a shallow but long cut from the matted tom's face down to his shoulder. I felt my muscles tense, readying for the consequences of my action.

The growl that erupted from deep within Macavity's chest was louder than I expected and I instinctively brought my paws to my ears as I tried to muffle the sound. Macavity also reacted instinctively as he delivered a swift backpaw to my jaw.

My face felt like it was on fire as my head whipped to the side, recoiling from the force. The strike was so great that my legs instantly gave out. As I began to fall, I had an instant of clarity where everything seemed to slow down but speed up at the same time. I watched as Quaxo immediately sprung for Macavity with a look of pure malice that I had never seen on his face before. At the same time, I watched Plato leap for me, paws outstretched to catch me before I hit the ground.

I felt his strong arms grab me and hold me close to his chest as he pulled me away from the fight that had broken out. I lazily tried to blink the stars from my eyes and groggily made an attempt to stand. The same strong paws that had rescued me immediately became my prison as Plato held me in place. He kept telling me something like I had to take it easy for a minute, but I just couldn't listen to him. I began clumsily scanning the junkyard, trying to find Quaxo. I had to know that he was okay.

Even though Plato's firm paws held my body down, I found that I could crane my neck and see most of the clearing. All of the cats had pushed themselves to the edge in an effort to avoid the dangerous, vicious battle that ensued in the middle. It was hard to make out where one cat ended and the next started. Sparks flew every which way as small scrapes of fur and blood added to the chaos around the two. I could hear the hisses and the snarls and began to grow desperate when I recognized some of the shouts of pain as Quaxo's.

Why wasn't anyone helping him? After he saved our lives? Why was I being held down? Quaxo needed help!

I resumed my struggle tenfold as I tried to break the restraints that were Plato's paws. I could tell he hadn't been expecting the fight because he looked like he was having trouble keeping me on the ground. Through gritted teeth I heard him grunt, "Please Vik, relax."

"NO!" I shouted as my limbs flailed violently. "_Help him! Someone help him! What is wrong with all of you? He saved you! HELP HIM!_" My voice had become hoarse as I screamed at the top of my lungs, exerting all my energy into shouting and trying to escape. My pleas were returned with pitying gazes, which only infuriated me more.

I lost my energy to fight Plato, but I continued to scream out Quaxo's name as he and Macavity worked their way up a junk pile. The sparks became more plentiful and chaotic, as they grew larger and began to change to reds and deep purples.

As the two toms fought, even I could tell that Quaxo was gaining the upper hand. I wasn't an experienced fighter, but it was clear that Macavity was growing slower and even simple tasks of coordination seemed difficult for him. It was also apparent that the Napoleon of Crime was becoming desperate. Small trash items began to fly at Quaxo, who deftly avoided every projectile.

They finally reached the summit and the skirmish paused for a moment, both toms seemed to be catching their breath. Macavity stood there panting, his shoulders bent forward in exhaustion. He seemed to be cradling his left arm as blood freely fell from a long gash that extended from his shoulder to his wrist.

He slowly gave Quaxo a devilish smile and my screaming stopped in my throat. There was no way that that crooked grin was a good sign. Quaxo seemed to feel the same sentiments and he immediately lunged for Macavity with every intention of finishing the battle that instant.

While Quaxo was still in midair, a blindingly bright light began to radiate from Macavity and engulfed the entire pile. I had no choice but to close my eyes and turn away as the light felt like it would burn my eyes.

The hisses that reached my ears from the surrounding cats told me that everyone else had turned away too.

The light eventually faded and I desperately blinked, trying to will my eyes to readjust. When my vision finally returned, I saw that Quaxo seemed to be standing dazedly alone at the top of the pile. After a moment of swaying back and forth, the magic tom fell to his knees and began to lean to his side. After a tense second of waiting to see if he would get back up, he fell to his side and painfully tumbled down the pile, hurtling towards the ground.

**A/N: Hope you liked it, I feel like I kept wanting to repeat things over and over to get the point across, but I tried to tone those down. Sometimes they just get annoying. Anyways, I'm almost done with the next chapter, so that should be up in a day or two. Then the final chapter should be up late this week or early next week hopefully. Thanks for everything!**


	24. The Test

**Chapter 24: The Test**

**A/N: So we are really coming to a close. It's kind of mind-blowing! I don't really know what to think or how to act. My first fanfic coming to an end. I guess the most important thing is to thank everyone for all the support! It really means a lot! I'm not sure I could have kept going without you! Anyways, this really isn't the end. One more chapter, more like an epilogue, but it's coming! And I love to see your support in reviews! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cats…still :(**

Quaxo's fall seemed to cause a small avalanche of junk, and I winced as I psychologically felt every bruise that he accumulated on his tumble to the ground.

I shot to my feet and sprinted towards the base of the pile, screaming the entire way. I didn't even have time to contemplate if I had found a new strength that overpowered Plato or if he had willingly let me go.

Once I was close enough, I dived for pile, catching Quaxo on my chest. I quickly sat up and cradled his head in my lap. I clumsily brushed his cheeks and ears with my paws, distraught at the shallowness of his breathing and his closed eyes.

The tears began to fall again. I rocked back in forth, holding his head as gently as a newborn kitten. His skin felt cold and clammy and I could not longer hold in my despair and pain. I bent over my lap, still holding his head and began to sob. Even though I figured it was a futile effort, I began to lick his wounds, cleaning the blood from his handsome face.

I heard a chuckle from under me and to my joy I saw Quaxo lethargically blinking and trying to focus on me. Even though my mood had turned completely around, I couldn't stem the flow of tears as they were now out of sheer joy. I resumed my efforts of cleaning his wounds with a slight chuckle between tearful hiccups.

After a brief moment, I heard paws running towards us and looked up protectively. To my relief, Plato and Addie ran to the center of the clearing. Both toms crouched next to us with anxious faces. I could hear the sighs and chuckles of relief as they too noticed that Quaxo would be okay.

A menacing hiss soon interrupted our joyous reunion. A shiver of terror ran up my spine. This hiss was so full of hate…It couldn't be Macavity, could it?

As I slowly lifted my gaze, I saw a small posse made up of Alonzo, Bomba, and Cassandra. All three cats seemed ready for blood, and I was sure that I couldn't take them on. I also could tell that they were so full of spite that they would stop at nothing to get the revenge they felt they deserved.

Bomba was the first to break the tense stand off, "Step back." She hissed in a low, dangerous voice.

However, the tone in her voice caused me to instinctively pull Quaxo close against my chest as I hissed with equal menace. I could feel the fur rise all along my back. It was a strange feeling to know that my hackles were rising in anger towards a fellow tribe member, but I knew that I had made my decision long ago to choose my love over my tribe.

Luckily, Quaxo was still too out of it to fight back and argue with me or the other cats.

My response caused Alonzo to step forward and slowly raise his hackles. There was no spark or friendliness in his eyes. "We won't be duped again!" He growled as his steps transformed into a low crouch, every muscle tense and ready to spring.

Plato and Addie refused to leave my side. Their steadfastness gave me renewed courage as I hugged Quaxo close and tensed my own body. Even though I was in a sitting position, I knew that if I had to, I could easily jump to my paws to defend the tom that had only been worried about protecting me.

I gave one last-ditch effort to reason with the Jellicles. "Didn't you hear Macavity? He's _innocent_! I know you heard him!" I tried to suppress the desperation that had begun to creep into my voice, but it was a vain effort. I franticly scanned the face of each cat in the clearing, but the cats either met my gaze with hostility or wouldn't meet my eyes at all. Only Demeter, Munk, and Jelly met my gaze with softer expressions, but they were frustrating looks of pity.

"Look at him!"

I jumped when Plato roared behind me. His voice reflected mine and was filled with anger and desperation.

"Just look at him!" He stared down every cat, challenging them to do as he said. "He fought _for _us! I didn't see anyone else fighting Macavity! Macavity is gone because of _him_!"

"It's only another trick to gain our good graces again! I'm not stupid!" Alonzo took another step forward, baring his teeth. He made it clear that he wasn't going to let anyone stand in his way.

"_Shut up!_" Plato growled just as dangerously. I had never heard so much venom in his voice. "You're selfish _and_ stupid! If that's what you thought, then why didn't you fight them to actually end the fight? No, everyone was content to let someone else risk their lives and fight Macavity, _then_ point the paw!" He continued to stare down each Jellicle; none of them could meet his eyes.

Jenny cautiously shuffled forward with a nervous chuckle. In a soft whisper, she tried to shepherd her boys away from the traitorous group.

Addie gently but firmly pushed the queen away. None of us would be moved from our spots.

Tense seconds passed as I waited for Alonzo to pounce. I could tell from his fervid glances that he was planning the best strategy.

Therefore, it surprised me when the first cat to move was Asparagus. I couldn't keep the tears and smile from my face as he slowly but surely took a spot next to Plato and turned to face the rest of the tribe as he placed a fatherly paw on my shoulder. I released the breath I didn't know I was holding. It felt amazing to have a comforting, parental touch.

He was soon followed by a reluctant Jelly, Demeter, Cetty, Jem.

The tribe was now left split in two. No one was sure what to do, but it was clear that those who stood behind me had not intention of moving. Even if they didn't fully trust Quaxo, they couldn't turn their backs on Plato and me. Alonzo shakily stood up, unable to attack those he _did_ love and trust.

I continued to let out a low hiss as a warning to the tribe, but I couldn't help but wish that Old Deuteronomy were here. He would know what to do; he would believe me without hesitation. And best of all, everyone would listen to him.

I felt a shaky paw cup my cheek and I immediately stopped hissing to look down into those copper eyes I longed to see. They were clear and bright. I couldn't help but smile again and breathe a sigh of relief.

Quaxo tenderly wiped a tear from my cheek and cautiously sat up. He held a paw to his head for a moment as he gained his bearings. He looked at the cats behind us and then those on the other side of the clearing. He finally focused his full attention on me, not once letting his gaze waiver. After a moment that I could have let go on forever, he leaned forward and chastely kissed my lips. I tried to respond but he immediately pulled back. As brief and simple as the kiss was, I didn't like the feeling of it. It was like he was saying goodbye.

A soft glaze of tears began to come over his eyes. "They're right Vik. I should accept the consequence of what I've done. I owe it to them…"

I instinctively grabbed his paw, cupping it to my face once again. My voice was shaking, we'd gone through so much, and we were so close to freedom. "N-No! You _saved_ them! You owe them _nothing_!"

He only returned my plea with his sad smile before taking his free paw and gently but firmly prying mine away from his. With that last action, he turned from me and strode bravely towards Munk, not even giving a final glance in my direction.

The tears instantly sprung to my eyes and the salt stung as they made their way down my cheeks. My whole field of vision had gone blurry, but I couldn't let him go, I had to be with him! I gathered my paws under me with the intention of running to him, but my mind was reeling and I couldn't seem to find my balance.

I felt Plato catch me, and I was grateful. But I soon realized that my strength had left my limbs and I couldn't chase after Quaxo. I continued to weakly call out his name as I tried to blink away the tears.

The rest of the tribe tried to pretend that I wasn't there, that I wasn't upset. I knew what they were up to and I wasn't going to let them clear their consciences like that. I made a point to look each cat in the face. I made sure that they could see the pain in my eyes and the anger in my heart. It seemed no one could hold my gaze for more than a second. I snorted and finally turned to face Munk, who seemed to be towering over Quaxo.

His eyes flickered past Quaxo to focus on me. He lasted the shortest amount of time as he instantly turned away, acting as if he had something important to discuss with the psychic twins behind him.

Then it hit me, a last chance to keep Quaxo with me forever. My legs found renewed strength as I tore across the clearing to crumble at Munk's feet. I took his paw in mine and buried my face into his fur. I could only imagine that it was like a scene out of a dramatic tragedy. I could feel Munk trying to withdraw his paw from mine, but I held firm.

My ears twitched as I heard Quaxo's soft and gentle voice, "Please, Viki. Please."

Even though every fiber of my being screamed against it, I had to ignore his request. Instead, I focused my full attention on Munk. "Please!" I shouted through a hoarse throat. "Please! Give him a chance! He _helped _you! H-have Tantomile and Coricopat look at him! They'll be able to sense if he is lying!"

I couldn't bring myself to look up at Munk. I was terrified at the idea that he would be looking down at me with pity or even disgust.

A gentle voice made its away across the clearing. It was so soft that one had to turn their ears towards it and strain to hear. But even though the voice was quiet, it wasn't weak. "Munkustrap, if she is telling the truth, can you sleep at night knowing you punished an innocent tom. And if we do punish him, I'm afraid we'll lose more than just one Jellicle." I smiled into Munk's paw fur, happy that Demeter was on my side. If anyone could get through to him, it'd be her.

A steady, tender paw grabbed my shoulders and guided me to my feet. I finally found the courage to look into Munk's face, and breathed a sigh of relief when his warm eyes met mine. He gave me a small nod before turning and indicated with an incline of his head for the twins to step forward.

The two cats were as stoic as ever. A small chill ran through my body, it was so unnerving to have no indication of what they were thinking or feeling. They took each other's paw and then Cori held his paw out to Quaxo while Tantomile indicated for me to take hers.

I nervously glanced from Munk to the supportive group behind me and then finally to Quaxo. When our eyes met, we each seemed to find the resolve and courage we needed and simultaneously took the paws offered to us.

During the entire test, our eyes never waivered and never left each other's. We knew that we would be okay. It was strange though, because I didn't feel anything like magic coursing through my body. It seemed that whatever powers the twins possessed, they were entirely different from those that filled Quaxo.

Finally the twins released our paws and stepped away from us. I fought hard to suppress a giddy smile when I saw a hint of a grin playing at the corners of Tantomile's face. I immediately grabbed Quaxo's paw and gave it a feint squeeze.

The mystical cats seemed to hold the silence for a more dramatic effect before letting the smiles fully envelope their faces.

"He is innocent." Purred Tantomile.

Coricopat quickly added, as if continuing his sister's comment. "There is no need to fear either Jellicle."

As much as I wanted to see the looks of shame that must have been on everyone's faces, I quickly jumped into Quaxo's waiting arms and wrapped my paws around his neck. While his strong paws easily held me in the air, I began to shower his face and neck with kisses. I just couldn't contain my joy or my need to be near him. Through a haze of joy that seemed to be clouding my head, I could sense the other cats crowding around us, each of them eager to hold a paw out to Quaxo and try and ease their guilt.

Through all the apologies and greetings, muffled conversations outside of the group made their way to my ears. I heard Munk speaking quietly with Demeter and Alonzo. Each had their own feelings of fault, unsure of how to deal with them. They eventually moved on to the subject of Macavity. They knew that he was still alive, and they had to be on alert, there was no way Macavity would take such a defeat lightly.

I smiled as I heard Demeter refer to Quaxo as one of the tribe who would gladly help to defend his new family, even if they didn't deserve it.

The sound of an out-of-breath Skimbleshanks also travelled across the clearing reporting that Old Deuteronomy was still in his master's home, undisturbed. I think a few cats around us cheered at the news, but what they felt didn't matter to me.

The small fire of fury seemed to smolder within me, somewhere deep in my belly. They had been so quick to accuse and so reluctant to believe. I kept my eyes focused on Quaxo as I resisted the urge to bat everyone away. They were only willing to trust us when we submitted to a test. They didn't deserve for Quaxo to forgive them so readily.

But he was a kind and gentle tom, he readily gave what others didn't deserve. I, myself, had profited from that aspect of his character. Was I really that different from the other tribe members? I had to remind myself that I was. Even if it took a while, in the end I believed in him and stood by his side.

I really couldn't hold my anger against them for too long, because I knew they only meant well. But even as my anger faded, I couldn't seem to give the other cats any attention. I focused my entire being on Quaxo, and he seemed to do the same. His luster in his eyes had returned, and his ochre eyes danced like copper in flames. I noted every strand of fur on his face and the complex patterns they made as the white tapered into black. Every aspect of his being was completely entrancing. This was where I was meant to be: in his arms. For all I knew, we were alone in a den somewhere and nothing else mattered.

I could no longer contain myself. Modesty meant nothing at the moment as I closed the space between us and was lost in a passionate kiss. I wanted him to understand everything that I was feeling. And from the way he responded, he was thinking the exact same thing.

It was beautiful. When I looked back in my mind, my choice was gone, and everything was right again.

**A/N: I feel like there are so many characters I could've and wanted to develop more! Oh well, I feel like real stories kind of write themselves, ya know? And I must apologize to Alonzo fans…I think he came off meaner than I meant. Oddly enough though, I feel like I fell in love with that brave tom who put the protection of the tribe above everything else. If nothing else, I hope it was understood that while his actions were sometimes cruel and unfair, he was well intentioned the entire time. Anyways, one more chapter and then on to new frontiers! Hope you enjoyed and review! :)**


	25. Epilogue

**Chapter 25: Epilogue**

**A/N: Well here we are my dear readers, at the end of the story… and an end of a chapter in my life. First fanfiction, and I must say, I am rather proud. I hope you enjoy this final chapter! Review, and I may give you a hint for what comes next ;) (Though I have a few things in mind…)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own cats or the Josh Groban song (with slight variations)… just this storyline **

The years passed, each one filled with abounding joy and happiness. Life unfolded almost as if it had been planned.

One cold evening, I found myself slowly walking up to our secret clearing. The 'our' had grown since those many years ago, but the secret was still religiously kept my Quaxo's and my kittens. We were the only ones that knew of this hidden Eden.

As I tenderly picked my path to the center of the sacred ground, I could feel the slight vibrations and hear the soft music of the ball as it drifted across the yard. To add to the magic, an early snow came to the area, and I couldn't suppress a smile as it silently dusted the yard.

I held out a paw to catch the dancing flakes, and I pulled my paw close to my face to better examine the delicate structures that clung to my fur. My smile faded ever so slightly when I saw the definitive contrast between the pure white snowflake and the dulled gray shade that my fur had become. Such pure fur used to be my pride and joy, aside from my family that is.

The vibrations seemed to disappear as the music became much softer and sweeter. I instantly recognized the song and dropped my paw as I closed my eyes and turned to face the breeze. I couldn't help but sway as the familiar tune filled my entire being. It was the song that Quaxo sang for me…it was _our_ song for many years, and was played at every ball.

The song had been celebrated by the Jellicles as the first real love song to be performed for the ball. Old Deuteronomy had even said that it would be remembered for generations. It was a beautiful song where Quaxo would sing and I would dance with him. It was the highlight of my year, every year.

However, all dreams eventually come to an end, and one day, I had to wake up to the reality that I was too old to dance. I just couldn't keep up with the demand it put on my body. Of course, after he learned about this, Quaxo refused to sing the song. He told others that he didn't care about tradition, but the song only meant something if he sung it to me. The selfish side of me was happy he had said those words. I wasn't sure how I'd react if he sang it for a pretty, young queen.

But we couldn't let such a beautiful tradition die then, so Quaxo and I each gave our consent for the song and dance to be continued with new young cats. Our blessing was given on one condition; this couldn't be like the Mating Dance. The number could only be performed by lovers, with the consent from both. Each year, Quaxo and I would watch the performers with misty eyes and memories of our younger days.

Tonight was an extra special night. Tonight, the song and dance was performed by a pair of newly mated lovers: Artemis, who was Cetty and Plato's granddaughter, and by my grandson, Jedidiah.

In my mind's eye I could see them dancing and swirling around each other. Jedidiah's beautiful tenor, which he must have gotten from Quaxo, would fill each cat present with tears of joy and perhaps even love lost. The graceful Artemis would perform the dance without the slightest hiccup.

My smile widened as I counted the three steps to the waltz, shuffling my feet to the beat. I could easily picture Cetty watching with pure joy, along with hers and my kits. Munkustrap, the new leader of the Jellicles, wouldn't be far away. I could see him beaming from his ceremonial seat on the tire.

I remembered being surprised that Cetty hadn't simply died of a broken heart when Plato passed and went to the Heavyside Layer. But she had Dante and Felina along with her grandkitten, Artemis. They had given her strength. And I guess one could say the same for me, but lately I'd been feeling so tired…

Quaxo would have loved to see the two cats dance. I could just imagine the pride in his eyes.

My ears became more alert as a beautiful tenor voice wafted through the air, singing the beginning of our song. Yet no matter how different the voice was, all I could do was picture Quaxo singing in my ear like he used to do at every ball.

"_A waltz when she walks in the room"_

I shuffled around the clearing. Of course back in the day my strides were much longer and more graceful. However, I was content to shuffle through the song.

"_She pulls back the fur from her face_

_She turns to the yard fence to sway in the moonlight_

_Even her shadow has grace"_

I performed a pale imitation of a fouette turn, landing clumsily but avoiding a fall.

"_A waltz for the girl out of reach_

_She lifts her hands up to the sky_

_She moves to the music_

_The song is her lover_

_The melody's making her cry"_

I performed each lyric as the words met me. In the past, I would not cry as the song stated, but hold myself as I continued to turn and perform some fancy footwork. However, at this moment, hearing Quaxo's voice in my ear, I couldn't stem the tears from flowing.

By this point, chorus would pick up and Quaxo would sing as powerfully as he could. This was also the time where I could display the best moves in my repertoire: attitudes, grand jetés, and sissones, plus many more that I could perform but couldn't remember their names.

"_So she dances_

_In and out of the crowd like a glance_

_This romance is _

_From afar calling me silently"_

I continued to hear Quaxo sing as I gently shuffled around the clearing, trying my best to imitate the memories of once upon a time. Finally, I couldn't suppress my smile when the song reached my favorite part. The voice that had been singing so strong suddenly became quiet and tentative, like a shy kitten.

"_When I close my eyes I can see_

_The spotlights are bright on you an me"_

As he sang in my mind, I could see Quaxo slide of the TSE car like he always did and enter into my arena. He would slowly circle me, as if looking for the best time to enter into the dance. I remembered how I would continue to dance as if I hadn't seen his movement, but in reality, I could never take my eyes off of him. I was always anticipating when he would make his move and the rush of joy that accompanied it.

"_We've got the floor_

_And you're in my arms,_

_How could I ask for more?"_

At the next part, he would come running into the clearing, as if he couldn't get to me fast enough. He would lift me in the air with a great flourish and a smile from ear to ear. I could feel the wind playing with my head fur as if I really was in the air.

Suddenly a shooting pain started in my hip and painfully radiated up through my back. The pain was so excruciating that I fell to the ground, panting and gritting my teeth. I released a sadistic chuckle as I realized that, in my trance of memories, I had actually tried to perform the fan kick that was routine after Quaxo put me down on the ground.

I could still hear the music drifting through the clearing, but it seemed empty now, I couldn't hear Quaxo singing anymore. The emotions that began to well up inside of me were so confusing. On one hand, I was almost overcome with loneliness. I felt the sadness pushing in on me and I felt like I would suffocate. But every time I almost gave into my those feelings of despair, I could hear Jedidiah's voice just making it's way over the many junk piles between us. Quaxo was gone but he had not left me alone. I also had my kittens, Sarbella and Elizabeth, and I had been given the chance to watch the two queens grow up and find mates and have families of their own, with Quaxo at my side.

Quaxo…

I was so happy, but I had just grown so tired. I just couldn't seem to find the strength to support myself. I contented myself with resting my head on my arms. I just needed a moment to recuperate. The snow continued to fall and it began to melt through my fur and onto my skin. The prickly cold sensation felt oddly comforting as I let my eyes drift close.

There were so many cats that I missed. I could feel the tears making streams down my cheeks. There were all the cats who had be selected to go to the Heavyside Layer and be reborn, like Jem, Lonzie, and Pounce. How were they? Were they enjoying their new lives? They deserved the renewed happiness. And as great an honor as it was, I could only pray that I was never selected. I didn't want to be reborn. I wanted a fate similar to Plato or Tumble, I wanted to be able to remain in the Layer forever, with Quaxo.

Quaxo…

My mind became fuzzy, and I realized I had fallen asleep. I mentally tried to clear the fog, still feeling each snowflake as they landed on my face. I wasn't sure how long I had been sleeping, but however long it was, I had found the strength to stand.

I squinted as I opened my eyes and allowed the streaming sun to momentarily blind me. Apparently I had slept the night away. A new kind of urgency over took me as I realized that I hadn't been there to congratulate Artemis and Jedidiah.

I immediately gathered my paws under me, fueled by my renewed energy and sense of urgency. Once on my back paws, I smiled as the snow drifted around ever so lightly. I don't think I'd ever seen it dance so wonderfully before, it was distracting.

Instinctively, I held my paws out to catch the snowflakes as they drifted to the ground. However, I instantly froze in wonder, I didn't even know if I caught a snowflake or not. The paws held in front of my body were perfectly white and matched the snow in the background.

I shook my head. I had to still be asleep and dreaming, even the wrinkles and folds seemed to be gone. I immediately looked down holding my paws to my stomach and legs, everything seemed like it was as young as the day I met Quaxo.

My paws began to shake as I slowly turned around to confirm my suspicion.

Standing across the clearing was a gathering that immediately made my eyes water. What seemed to be a welcome party gathered around the clearing, and it was made up of all the cats that hadn't been chosen for a new life. I easily identified the smiling faces; there was Tumble, Jerrie, and Demeter to name a few. All of them were smiling and wiping tears from their eyes.

My gaze was instantly drawn to the strong, tall, copper-patched tom standing in the front and center of the small tribe. Plato's smile widened and I heard his deep, baritone laugh echo its way across the clearing. He held his arms out, beckoning me towards him.

I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't even fully think through a single thought. I took a faltering step and stopped. I was anxious. I knew where I was, but an overwhelming nervousness overtook me.

Plato released another bout of laughter as he quickly closed the space between us, welcoming me with a warm embrace. Even in my shock, my body remembered its old habits and I instantly hugged him in return. I heard him whisper in my ear, "Welcome home, little snow fairy."

Plato securely put his paws on my shoulders and held me at arms length. He lifted his paw to wipe away one of the many tears that were falling from my eyes before turning around and guiding me towards the gathering.

Halfway across the clearing, I felt a gentle nudge at my waist. I looked down to see Plato's elbow poised to poke me again. I looked up at his joy-filled face. His other arm extended across my field of vision. I followed his paw to two queens standing slightly off from the rest of the group.

The two were holding each other closely and sniffling through a torrent of tears.

My paw covered my mouth, which was hanging open in surprise. I instantly recognized the one queen. The yellow tabby, Jellylorum, disengaged from the other queen and ran to meet me. My legs flew across the clearing as I sprinted into her embrace.

The two of us couldn't hold back our tears as we reunited. I felt her paws cup my cheeks and lift my gaze to face her, just like she always used to do when I was a kitten and she wanted me to look at her. Even through the tears, I couldn't stop the purring. I had forgotten what it felt like to be embraced in a mother's touch. I was used to providing it for my family, but it was such a relief to feel it again.

I tried to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. As much as I hoped for it, I knew that Asparagus wouldn't be here; he had gone on to be reborn into another Jellicle life.

Jelly lifted my chin again and smiled encouragingly. She then repeated Plato's gesture and turned me to face the queen she had left behind. I was slow to understand, I had just assumed she had brought one of her old friends to accompany her.

As I took in the long white furred queen standing before me, a kind of realization began to dawn on me. I knew that fur! How many hours had I spent as a young kitten running my paws through it? How many days had passed comparing its whiteness to my own? And how many nights had become bearable from its warmth surrounding me?

I took an unsure step. For some reason I still had trouble believing that she was standing before me. It couldn't be real, could it?

Griddlebone also took a cautious stride in my direction. I guessed that this moment was almost too good to be true for both of us.

As if a flip had been switched in both of us, we simultaneously met in a fierce embrace. All I could hear were the hiccups of sobs and her repeated phrases, "I'm so proud of you! I've missed you so much, my little fairy."

I couldn't even produce any words. In recent years, I had dreamed of this moment, but no dreams could ever have compared to actually being here. The Heavyside Layer was more than words could describe.

Plato had made his way over to Jelly, and held her as she continued to cry on his shoulder, though I knew they were tears of joy. Plato gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze and couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

Even through the tears and laughter, a new sound reached my ears. The world stopped as I heard a sweet waltz dance across the clearing. A familiar tenor voice carried words that were always meant for me.

Griddlebone silently stepped away, a smile spread across her face.

I slowly turned to see a young but familiar tuxedoed tom emerging from the back of the crowd. His fur seemed to sparkle as he sang, and his copper eyes danced with mischief.

"_I can't keep on watching forever_

_And I'm giving up this view_

_Just to tell her…"_

I'd never felt so torn in my life. One part of me wanted to keep my feet planted where they were, I didn't want to ruin this moment. I was afraid to wake up and realize it was a dream. After this, I wasn't sure if I would be able to go back to the aches and pains of the real world. I also wanted to take in as much of him as possible. I could recall every detail, and he was just as I remembered. Even so, I wanted to drink in his very presences. I wanted to watch as his eyes danced in the light and his fur swayed with his magic.

However, the other half of me was screaming to run to him. It had been to long since his arms had been around me. I missed his nuzzles and kisses. I longed for him by my side again; I had been cold at night for too long. I yearned to feel the rhythm of his heart like I used to when I rested my head on his chest.

He continued to sing the words exactly as I had remembered them. Time may have separated us, but I hadn't let it fade my memories. He slowly held out his paw to me as if offering to dance.

My desires as well as old habits took over as I gracefully strode forward, paw outstretched to meet his. My being couldn't resist his call. Our paws met and I shivered just like I always used to; those same feelings and sensations he always gave me since the first time we met. Since that fateful night at the Jellicle Ball.

As soon as my paw clasped his, he raised it over my head, forcing me to do a quick spin. As I turned back to face him, in one fluid movement he released my paw and took my face in both of his paws, pulling me to his lips. We remained intertwined for a while, remembering the feeling of each other. I couldn't question my sense any longer, this wasn't a dream.

After what felt like an eternity yet still wasn't long enough, Quaxo stepped back and performed a quick bow. Just like when we were younger, his head gave a formal dip as he extended his paw to me.

I couldn't suppress the kittenish giggle as I responded with my own petite bow before gratefully taking his offered paw.

Quaxo grandly led me out to the center of the clearing and twirled me again, catching me at my waist. He smiled at me, "It's been much too long, Viki. I love you."

I gazed for a while in his eyes, watching the copper's and gold's swirl and blend. I continued to run my paws through his fur, still enraptured with fact that I could. I leaned forward and kissed him again. "I love you too! You don't know how much I've missed you! And there's so much for us to catch up on..."

He smiled, cupping my cheek in his paw. "And we have plenty of time, my love. But for now, are you ready?"

I knew exactly what he meant, and I beamed at the amazing tom before me. "Forever and always!" I purred.

In that instant, Quaxo sang out the chorus to our song. A new kind of joy filled his voice, a kind of joy that I could hear, but not fully comprehend. It reflected the joy of having such a long wait come to an end.

"_So she dances!"_

I immediately picked up where I had left off earlier, but this time I was able to dance again. I could feel the bliss radiate through my body as I performed a flawless fan kick.

We continued to dance, even after Quaxo had finished the song and the other cats had left. There would be time later to catch up with them as well. For now, I was content.

I had all I needed: Quaxo, a song, and our shadows in the snow.

**A/N: Now this is officially the end. My offer still stands. And while I have ideas in mind, if you have any Cats couple that you'd like to request, I won't promise anything, but I am always open to new inspiration. So feel free to PM me or review a suggestion. Anyways, as for the story, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I guess you might have seen the 'surprise' coming from the beginning of the chapter, but I hope you liked it. This just seemed like a fitting ending, you know? And if you haven't heard it, I encourage you to look up **_**So She Dances**_** by Josh Groban. Whenever I hear it, I can only picture Misto and Viki. 3 I hope I wrapped everything up well. Those two are just so cute together… This is note is actually getting kind of long, but I just know that once I finish typing this, **_**Shadows in the Snow **_**is over. It's so surreal. Anyways, all offers are in effect! So review or message me! I look forward to writing some more stories soon! :P**


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